Tried different approach - not worked :-(

OK, so after last weeks violent incident thought we'd try something else.Son was banned from his PC and mobile but it didn't seem to do any good - he was even sneaking back on.

Apart from that hes been pretty good the last week, and is finally making an effort with some of the charts the counsellor has asked him to fill out. Not brilliant but its a start. So we decided to try a difference approach.

We sat him down and made sure he understood. We praised him that things had improved and he was trying and also for his behaviour. We said there are stil things to improve on  but we were willing to give him a chance.

We said, he can have his phone back, and have 3 hours a day on his PC.

BUT, and we wrote this down there were some basic rules which he agreed were fair. We said if rules were broken then PC/mobile would be removed for at time again. He moaned a bit about the 3 hour limit but agreed he understood and it was fair.

These included:-

- Mobile stays downstairs at night to resist the temptation of playing games after hes supposed to be in bed.

- He continues with the forms and also reads the books we've bought him.

- No attempting to "forget" how long hes been on PC and exceeding the time

- No sneakily attempting to use mobile/PC after hes gone to bed in the middle of night.

Guess what - less than 24 hours later wife goes upstaris at midnight. Hes in bed playing games on his phone. I just don;t understand how he thinks hes going to get away with it.

Please someone tell me if the approach is right or wrong?

Parents
  • He's a teenager, so he's naturally going to be rebellious, and that has very little to do with autism. He will try to bend the rules or get away with breaking them.

    You have to be one step ahead of him. If you don't want him to use his phone, take his charger away or take the battery out. However, games are designed to be addictive, so it will be difficult for a young person to resist playing them. Forcing him to stop playing completely is like making an alcoholic or a drug user stop cold turkey. There will be withdrawal symptoms and a lot of discomfort.

    If you throw the book at him for a small infraction, he will likely stop trying. People on the spectrum tend to do better with positive reinforcement rather than punishment.

    I don't think your approach is fundamentally flawed, but applying it requires patience and understanding. It would help if he had an alternate activity for when he gets bored or can't sleep. Does he actually have anything else to do other than play on his phone or PC? He might simply need another hobby or interest that can pass the time.

  • Does your son enjoy jigsaws or lego, my nephew loved his lego set and would spend hours on it, building, gradually ween him off electronic gadgets. Actually I like routines as an autistic person and would often draw up my own rules as a young person.  However I like to adapt things at times too, if it don't work and get cross if things change.

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  • Does your son enjoy jigsaws or lego, my nephew loved his lego set and would spend hours on it, building, gradually ween him off electronic gadgets. Actually I like routines as an autistic person and would often draw up my own rules as a young person.  However I like to adapt things at times too, if it don't work and get cross if things change.

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