Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi My son has recently started crying silently whilst loudly proclaiming 'happy - I'm happy' - he has difficulty verbalising feelings or explanations and indeed becomes more distressed if we try to talk to him about what we think is triggering the sadness - he tends to have tears streaming down his face - sometimes with his mouth open in a silent scream type expression but then if we approach him will shout 'No -Im happy' - he can have been giggling and laughing with us about something (very happy and silly sense of humour normally) only moments before. Its heartbreaking but I don't know how to help him. He reads really well - we have tried writing things down, social stories, deep pressure but no progress so far. He is 11 1/2 so puberty may be something to do with it but his emotional resilience has disappeared. Small changes are now causing days of this behaviour whereas previously that kind of thing did not bother him. ANy ideas or anyone experienced anything similar? We currently just try and focus on the things we know make him really happy and give small highlights / treats as we go along to give him things to focus on. I (his mum) am going through a depression/anxiety episode which I now very much keep away from him but I am sure this is related.
Any big changes such as change of school?
I feel like that. I can see it in my son. For me the info coming at me is too fast. It takes many repetitions of short lessons over longer period of time without pressure. Mind map will build itself. When there is enough true info that makes sense.
Monika
Hi - I read this post the other day and still don't have an answer for you but just wanted to say my heart goes out to you. This really does sound heartbreaking. I just hope that whatever is happening inside your son is not as distressing as it appears on the outside - perhaps he is genuinely not feeling upset but it is a strange biological response to emotion - does it happen a lot when he's been laughing?? I would do as you're doing, look for patterns and maybe try to avoid situations that trigger it - but then again it does sound fairly unpredictable. I have a son, 9, on the the spectrum and he holds back his tears and blinks rapidly in difficult in situations - I usually know the reason though - the situation you're all in must be very hard. The only other thing I can suggest is possibly speaking with a therapist/counsellor? We've contacted Autism Sussex over a lot of anxieties that our son has - you have to pay but we know we need someone other than 'mum and dad' to support him.
Have you heard of alexithymia? It is a common trait of autism (you didn't mention whether your son is on the spectum but I assume so since you are posting on this site). If you look at alexithymia on Wikipedia some people with the condition exhibit episodes of crying or rage whch they can't explain themselves. I hope that helps.