Is my daughter autistic?

First time on here so good evening to all.

My daughter is 8 years old. Having worked in special needs for over 10 years, I am confident enough to say that she does not present with significant traits of ASD. However behaviour over the years that myself and wife have been aware of have been presenting more and more in recent months. I read more frequently that ASD in girls presents much more subtlely and we're not sure if we have genuine concerns or are neurotic parents.

As my little girl is making progress at school, class teacher is not overly concerned. My daughter does access a weekly sensory bus as she finds it useful to self soothe and re-regulate. During parents evening I asked if they had concerns over ASD and they did not. Anxiety is a huge problem at the moment. A school production has sent her anxiety through the roof. Every morning has been a battle and whilst we want to encourage her to take part, the visible signs are going beyond normal. Sleeping is huge issue at the moment. It's almost 11pm and she is still calling down from her bedroom. It seems that physical touch/contact from us is the only method of soothing her.  

Any changes to her daily routine cause distress. Whilst she can cope at school behaviour wise, she's vey keen to follow the rules, when she returns home from school we see a very different picture. She frequently goes into meltdowns and similar to a lot of ASD children, she bottles up emotions in the day but once the top is off, we see an eruption.

She has been motivated at school to achieve success through a points system. However she has achieved all available to her and she s very confused as to why this cannot continue. We have tried to explain but her rigidity in thinking cannot compute what we  saying. She is often vacant at home. She frequently spins and asking her why, she says it relaxes her. She will watch TV stood on her head as it is comfy.

She struggles with friendships and emotions. Children will ask her to play but she does not know how to respond and appears rude.

She obsesses with interests for months on end until complete over saturation.

Advice appreciated.

Parents
  • You have essentially just described my daughter - I relate to each point in each paragraph. We are both on the autistic spectrum.

    Let us know how you get on with the referral.

    Also, if you put in place things at home that she has at school (like a good routine), this will probably help. And have a points system at home - my daughter devised her own and sticks to it, even designing the paperwork herself! You already know what helps her - routine, sensory work, points systems, rules, the need for things to 'compute', and watching TV on her head. Support her in all these things - she's not doing them to be a nuisance, she does them because this is how she needs things to be so that she can 'function' correctly. Just like some people need to recline on a sofa to relax, her method of achieving the same is to stand on her head. And that's okay, it's okay to be different. Just support her with the things she needs.

Reply
  • You have essentially just described my daughter - I relate to each point in each paragraph. We are both on the autistic spectrum.

    Let us know how you get on with the referral.

    Also, if you put in place things at home that she has at school (like a good routine), this will probably help. And have a points system at home - my daughter devised her own and sticks to it, even designing the paperwork herself! You already know what helps her - routine, sensory work, points systems, rules, the need for things to 'compute', and watching TV on her head. Support her in all these things - she's not doing them to be a nuisance, she does them because this is how she needs things to be so that she can 'function' correctly. Just like some people need to recline on a sofa to relax, her method of achieving the same is to stand on her head. And that's okay, it's okay to be different. Just support her with the things she needs.

Children
  • This is where I am with my 10 yr old year 6 daughter. It’s only in recent months that the gap between her and her peers is widening socially and that she has voiced feelings that she is different. I work in SEN myself as a teacher and I’m finding that all my training and rational thinking goes out the window when it comes to my own child! 

    My question is do I watch and wait? Do I flag it with the GP so that it’s there on her notes should the differences become more pronounced at secondary school? Do I go for a private assessment? Am I imagining it? Am I losing the plot!!!

    School holidays have been lovely in the sense that we’ve had NO meltdowns, and she has been able to take her toy cat (yes, animals and Lego and fantasy fiction!) everywhere. Haircut and shoe fitting were a challenge and didn’t get all the eye test done as she got upset by the bright light...

    Have raised with SENCO and she has some in school coaching coming up plus the usual tick box forms to fill in. Advice on next steps appreciated