Published on 12, July, 2020
This is my first post here so please bear with me....
It's been a very long journey getting my son's diagnosis as the school have never backed me from day one! No matter what got said it was always said that he was just badly behaved and that that was his learning behaviour that he was expressing.
After lots of assesment and finally am.ados report he recieved a diagnosis of moderate autism but none of it was based on school behaviour or learning problems as they failed to fill out there questionnaire correctly and then never sent in the new one they promised to send in.
My son is now struggling very bad at school, his learning journey is very delayed and he's currently just gone back after a second 3 day exclusion in the space of 6 months. After an awful start to the morning today he was removed from class and told we will give you one more chance to day as mummy is in later with school for a meeting. Thankfully he didn't get excluded but after a very heated meeting regarding me feeling completly let down by the school and I believe the school lieing to me about paperwork etc i was today that he should have been excluded this morning and next time will be if it happens again.
My argument from day one of all these problems is that his needs are not being met well enough so he is then ending up not being able to cope and his behaviour is therefore kicking off.
How is it such a good idea to keep excluding my child :-(
Thank you, its easy to end up feeling powerless in this situation so im sure that would be helpful in getting my son what he deserves. Its also nice to know im not going crazy and that others are facing the same difficulties x
Sorry to hear everyones struggles. I also am struggling myself with school and my 6 year old. My childs school have failled to engage him in any learning for over 7 months, he sobs that his ears hurt because of noise in the hall and still is forsed to go, he usually doesnt respond to pain so it must really hurt for him to say. School accept he has asd and we are waiting for diagnostic meeting, ive been assured he will recieve it, after nearly 2 years on the waiting list.
When he was 3 i was told he did not have asd but i was sure and sadly a proffessional that had spoke to me for 10 mins during the assessment decided he was that way becaus i couldnt have bonded with him because he was premature and women who have premeture babies dont bond (she never asked me anything about the birth!)
He was classed as globally delayed and i was accused of not loving and emotionally neglecting him. My son nearly died after birth and i adored him, love at 1st site for me. I was lucky that a few proffessionals believed in me and fought hard. He then went for further assesments and it pointed back to asd.
My son is not coping well at all in school, he becomes violent after being made to go into the hall and then is punnished, i no he is anxouse. My son would never be violent to me and its the extreeme pressure of school and sensory processing ect.
What i find really upsetting is that when my son has a meltdown and becomes violent the school assume its something to do with me, they question bedtimes, my roiteens and say that there must be something stressing him out at home!
I am so frustrated with this, he says to school he hates it there everyday and dreads going so mornings are difficult. Its breaking my heart to see my son being mentally and emotionally destroyed, he is becoming a shadow of who he was.
I see a loving boy at home and if treated with empathy and ridged routines he is happy. Because school arnt coping i feel like there putting it on my shoulders, i love spending time with my son and dont experience this.
hes not aloud 2 after school clubs and im fed up with a school that fails him treating me like a faillier and punnishing my son. Throught his life i have felt without a voice and have lost faith in a lot of people. Im exhasted, i dont think i should be fighting this, i should be enabling my son to thrive, he is clever and i feel like no 1 cares about his education.
Sorry for the lengthy essay! Its really exhausting fighting for my sons basic rights and dont no where else to turn
Hi,
((Hugs)) you are the one who knows your child the best and what he needs. Sadly as parents we don't always get listened too. Different issue but I know how it feels when the school just don't listen and are depriving your child of the same educational opportunities as their peers. Try your local authority, mine have just ordered every staff member in my sons school on a asd training session and I'm only just getting started... Find as many resources you can, the educational rights listed above is another excellent one. Hang in there, wishing you a speedy resolution x
Good Afternoon,
I understand exactly what you are going through, we are having similar problems with the school our 6 year old is at.
He has recently been diagnosed with High Functioning Autism, and he requires one to one support in the classroom, but the school are refusing this, and also refusing to even apply for any additional funding.
We have had numerous meetings at the school, the last following a 4 day exclusion, the Headmaster saying "You son should not be at this school, we do not have the funding or the resources to be able to give him the support that he needs".
He has also been sent home twice before unofficially.
The school put together a PSP plan with us, which we all agreed in December, but they have not implemented hardly any of it.
It is really hard, and the system does not help. We had to go privately to get his assessment and diagnosis, and we have just applied for a EHCP. This is going to take another 20 weeks, and until then, we cannot even think about transferring him to a school that will give him the support he needs, so we are stuck where we are, or move him to another mainstream school, which will be very traumatic for him, and will probably be in the same situation.
It is very hard, and it is amazing how many people are in the same position.
The system is clearly failing our children
Hi NAS23689
Sorry to hear you and your son are having such a difficult time. It would be a good idea to contact the School Exclusion Service or our Helpline in the first instance.
School Exclusions Service
You may be interested in contacting our School Exclusions Service which offers advice and information to parents of children and young people on the autism spectrum on all aspects of school exclusion in England.
If you would like to access this service please call 0808 800 4002. Please leave a message on the answering service with a brief summary of your enquiry, together with your phone number and email address, so that an Exclusions Adviser can arrange to call you back to discuss your query in detail. Alternatively, you can the team via email on schoolexclusions@nas.org.uk
Helpline
You may like to contact our Autism Helpline team. They can provide you with information and advice on your issue. You can call them on 0808 800 4104 (Monday to Thursday 10am to 4pm, Friday 9am to 3pm).Please note that the Helpline is experiencing a high volume of calls and it may take a couple of attempts before you get through to speak to an advisor.
Please see the following link for further information:
http://www.autism.org.uk/services/helplines/main.aspx
Education rights
You may want to contact our Education Rights Service who provides information, support and advice on educational provision and entitlements. Please see the following link for further information: http://www.autism.org.uk/services/helplines/education-rights.aspx
The following article contains a lot of helpful information about education for a child with an autism:http://www.autism.org.uk/about/in-education.aspx This includes information regarding getting extra support for your child in their education setting.
You can search for schools that cater for children with an autism spectrum disorder on our Autism Services Directory: www.autism.org.uk/directory.aspx
It can help to pass on information specifically for education professionals about autism spectrum disorders. The following link contains information written for education professionals: http://www.autism.org.uk/professionals/teachers.aspx
I hope this information helps.
Best wishes,
Nicky-Mod