Setting rules for aspergers/ocd 14 year old

Still never really solved this problem. How much do we let go and how much do we put our foot down with?

Sometimes we find it difficult to work out what behaviour is him being awkward and him having issues. We KNOW that not all his behaviour is OCD/aspergerts at the moment.

If you remember he has these bathroom rituals to dow ith his OCD. Involved completely spraying the bathroom with spray disinfectant and using lots of hand gel. Trouble is its not just before use.

After use, he likes to spray disinfectant onto the toliet, floor etc and leave it wet. For some reason thats his thing. Also, in the past he smears hand gel on the surfaces of things too. Public toilets hes worse - and in the past had literally plastered every inch of the floor with toilet paper.

We've tried to explain to him that OK we understand but he does need to leave the toilet in a decent state for others to use. At home you literally have to spend 10 minutes cleaning before you can use the toilet.

Should we let this go because its his thing or telling him no way?

Parents
  • Two kids on the spectrum, both now in 20s (male & female). In my experience, if I applied pressure in one direction, that pressure usually came out in another direction or area. So you'd shut one door only to find another one opens, IYKWIM.

    Is the reason he cleans afterwards so that it is germ free for the rest of you? In case anything 'bad' might happen to the family as a result of not going through the ritual of cleaning? 

  • Well reason he leaves the place "wet" is because thats the way to clean it. If he wipes it off then hes contaminated it again by wiping it off.

    But no he doesnt think of others - its just how he sees things should be cleaned.

    Of course, this has caused a fair few problems in the past when hes used public toilets. Because he sees them as "dirty" he goes overboard. Not quite sure why he leaves these wet though because its not as if hes going to go back.

    He blocked a toliet on a plane once. Basicaly stuffed loads of toilet roll down, laid it all over the floor etc. We knew it was him but he denied it. Of course, the plane crew weren't happy but didnt know who'd done it.  Of course, I guess they'd take this sort of thing seriously - toilets out of action on a plane is quite serious I guess.

    So you can see why we can't allow this sort of thing to continue especially in situations like these. Bit of anti-bac spray left on a public toilet seat not the end of the world - person can wipe it (better than pee!).

  • Surely he is thinking of others, he's leaving it wet so that he doesn't contaminate it by wiping it dry, so that it is been free for the next person to use? I might be missing something, but that sounds perfectly reasonable to me.

  • That’s how I see it, the boy is following the instructions to the letter as us aspires tend to do. 

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