How to pursue diagnosis without making my son feel that there is something wrong with him

Hi everyone! 

Im a newbie here

After much deliberation, I have decided it would be best to seek a formal diagnosis for my 4 year old aspie son.

He is such a lovely, kind, clever little boy that struggles to interact with others, which I fear may appear to others as rude or ignorant.

I do worry that the process may make him feel that there is something wrong him though, and have no idea how to explain it to him.

does anyone have any advice for me please? It would be greatly appreciated 


  • Thank you so much for the info. I really do appreciate anyone taking the time to help me

    Very glad to have been of some assistance. Obviously, if we can help, we will, so if you have a further questions, or just need to communicate ~ hesitate not, as you are very welcome.

    Have a good one, and many many more ~ all the best.


  • Thank you so much for the info. I really do appreciate anyone taking the time to help me


  • does anyone have any advice for me please? It would be greatly appreciated 

    Hi there , greetings and welcome to the community ~ you might perhaps find the following NAS link to their diagnosis page useful:


    http://www.autism.org.uk/about/diagnosis.aspx 


    Also, if you telephone the NAS (National Autistic Society) helpline: 0808 800 4104 and select Option 4, and ask for a Preadolescent Asperger's Information Pack, and leave your name and address ~ it should arrive in a few weeks or so, and it will help you get going on the diagnosis process.

    You can do Option 4 day or night, but otherwise in terms of speaking to an NAS Advisor, the helpline's opening-closing times are Monday to Thursday 10am to 4pm, and Friday 9am to 3pm. The helpline is invariably busy, so just keep ringing, and you should be through in a few goes.


    I must state that I find 's advice very agreeable indeed, it is very well put.


  • That's actually really good advice. Thank you so much for taking the time to share it with me. I was just a little concerned as to what explanation I could offer him for the initial GP visit. But aciting like it is just a standard assessment never even crossed my mind! Kicking myself now Joy

  • Hi there, I think you worry a bit too much. At the age of four there is still so much going on that doesn't make sense to us (to anyone, I mean) that we see a lot of things just as normal as long as the behaviour of others (yours in that case) don't suggest otherwise. I don't know how such an assessment is done at that age, but would think it's quite playful and people doing it will be good with kids, so I would be really surprised if he is made felt as if something were wrong with him. Guess it may take a while until he has the assessment, but still, I'd think it will still take longer until there is such a risk. You being relaxed about it as if this is just what every kid does is perhaps the most difficult part, but I think if you manage that and present it to him as something totally normal that's simply done because someone has some interest in him then he will see it like that too. I can't remember any of the medical checks everybody had at that age. And if it requires something difficult (long journey, long wait somewhere, something that potentially upsets him after all then perhaps try to do something he likes soon afterwards to sweeten it a bit and create new memories that make any unpleasant ones fade. Somehow that's so much easier at that age than at yours...