Cutting own hair off

Yeah, I had long hair and I eventually snapped and walked round to the hairdressers and told them to cut it all off. The hairdresser wouldn’t do it at first, but eventually, when I just sat there, she did it. 

OMG it felt amazing. I don’t know how short it was in terms of mm, but it was short. She used the clipper thing all over. It was truly amazing, the way it felt. Everyone else was horrified and after a while I felt naked. So it’s long again now but I rarely wash it and I brush it only about once a week, but if I’m honest, I would prefer it shaved off. Maybe I’ll do that again sometime. It definitely feels amazing. 

I miss my hair being short....it is cut and treated as my husband likes it...

for me short hair meant that others didn’t see such a me that was feminine or requiring objectification....like aging, I want to grow grey, be natural and honest with my self identity and portrayal of self ...I want people so see pass this and see me...or just walk past 

I can relate to that Elie, I miss the short hair. My hair is really long and thick and it kind of gave me a way of being more ‘accepted’. I don’t like wearing make up or jewellery or ‘girls clothes’ so the hair kind of made me a bit more acceptable. But now I’m no longer feeling the need to pass and fit in, I might go ahead and cut it all off again. It’s easy to look after, I only wash it 2 or 3 times a year and it doesn’t get greasy or anything and I only brush it now and again so it’s low maintenance but still a pain in the but sometimes! 

I know what you mean about wanting to just be you and if people don’t like it, good, that weeded out the ones we don’t want to spend time with! I wear my wellies everywhere and people can’t understand why or they judge me, but I really don’t care anymore and I’ve got a good feeling that I’m gonna continue to care less and less as I become more and more of me :-) 

What a picture! In both senses.....x big love Robert 

Recent walk very different.

Hehe, me too Robert123 and yes, I seem to have a thing for poetry. Sometimes I get this urge to clear my mind and write. I put pen to paper and within minutes, a poem appears. I never know what it’s going to say until I read the words. 

I love the picture, I’ll get one of mine from my most recent walk. 

So, you are a poet.  

My poetry is in the mind, I cannot put it down in words.

 I love the colours of Autumn leaves.

As long as they are dry. I love walking in them.

I live alone so I dress and walk inside how I like. No socks, no shoes, even birthday suit.

I used to mow my lawn in bikini bottoms, my wellies and big plastic protection goggles!

Past tense! Don’t let the side download! Lol x 

Oh I love the autumn leaves. I walk through them like I’m a princess walking on a path of gold. I feel so rich (not in the financial sense) and I revel in it. I literally walk down the streets, even at school finishing time when there’s loads of people around and I’m going to pick my grandkids up and I jump in all the puddles and splash!  I do angels in the snow laid on my back and catch snow flakes. I talk to trees and even my grandson does it now. I walk through mud and love the noises it makes and that squelchy feeling you get. I love love love all weather and my trusted wellies are perfect for all occasions. I used to mow my lawn in bikini bottoms, my wellies and big plastic protection goggles! No wonder my neighbours came out when I cut my grass! My other form of footwear is my bare feet. When my son was little, for a while, we never wore shoes, ever! He wasn’t so keen but I told him this is how we role! Lol! We also grew our hair in dreadlocks and I homeschooled him in the beginning, on the beach! 

I have stopped running, finally and although I will get the van and live the nomadic life, I will also be fighting, tirelessly, for an autism friendly world. I have no idea how it’s all going to happen but now I’ve got the help I’ve so desperately needed all my life, I’m going to learn to be me again and help others do the same. It won’t happen in a day but I’m beyond grateful for all the support I’m getting right now and I have relaxed enough to be able to take this one day at a time. 

In a little over a month, post diagnosis, I’ve got the help I’ve been seeking for 50 years. I’ve still got a little way to go with it and I’m not saying it’s going to be easy but I won’t accept anything less than we deserve. We did not come to this earth to compromise ourselves, one bit, which doesn’t mean we’re selfish jerks, but it does mean that we have a basic right, by way of being born, to a happy and fulfilling life and you guys have given me more love and support than I’ve had in a lifetime so far so there cannot be anything wrong with us. Love, support, acceptance, encouragement, caring, understanding and so much more you have given to me and the world is lacking in these things, which tells me, the world needs us as much as we need them. I can’t not speak out for us. No more running, apart from through puddles and leaves and all things messy! ;) 

Do you think you’ll ever stop running...

i live the vision of you splashing puddles! Don’t forget the piles of autumn leaves....or giant footsteps to be made in freshly settled snow x

Yes, that’s right, I care less about their viewpoints, which are superficial, and more about being seen for who I am, beyond what I look like or what I wear or what job I do or whatever. 

And oh yes, when I’m in my wellies I’m ready for anything and they’re so darn comfortable and easy to wear, and in my opinion, very stylish ;) ~ and I love jumping in puddles - often! Lol! And when I do and people see me, I now think, they just wish they were me right now! Lol! ;) As for running away or running too, yeah, I do both! Less of the running away from myself though now, thankfully. No wonder we get so exhausted, all this running would tire anyone out! I think we’re actualkt world class athletics at running, we’ve probably run more miles than the Jamaican guy who wins all the prizes! :-) 

Yes, that’s right, I care less about their viewpoints, which are superficial, and more about being seen for who I am, beyond what I look like or what I wear or what job I do or whatever. 

And oh yes, when I’m in my wellies I’m ready for anything and they’re so darn comfortable and easy to wear, and in my opinion, very stylish ;) ~ and I love jumping in puddles - often! Lol! And when I do and people see me, I now think, they just wish they were me right now! Lol! ;) As for running away or running too, yeah, I do both! Less of the running away from myself though now, thankfully. No wonder we get so exhausted, all this running would tire anyone out! I think we’re actualkt world class athletics at running, we’ve probably run more miles than the Jamaican guy who wins all the prizes! :-) 

What a picture! In both senses.....x big love Robert 

Recent walk very different.

Hehe, me too Robert123 and yes, I seem to have a thing for poetry. Sometimes I get this urge to clear my mind and write. I put pen to paper and within minutes, a poem appears. I never know what it’s going to say until I read the words. 

I love the picture, I’ll get one of mine from my most recent walk. 

So, you are a poet.  

My poetry is in the mind, I cannot put it down in words.

 I love the colours of Autumn leaves.

As long as they are dry. I love walking in them.

I live alone so I dress and walk inside how I like. No socks, no shoes, even birthday suit.

I used to mow my lawn in bikini bottoms, my wellies and big plastic protection goggles!

Past tense! Don’t let the side download! Lol x 

Oh I love the autumn leaves. I walk through them like I’m a princess walking on a path of gold. I feel so rich (not in the financial sense) and I revel in it. I literally walk down the streets, even at school finishing time when there’s loads of people around and I’m going to pick my grandkids up and I jump in all the puddles and splash!  I do angels in the snow laid on my back and catch snow flakes. I talk to trees and even my grandson does it now. I walk through mud and love the noises it makes and that squelchy feeling you get. I love love love all weather and my trusted wellies are perfect for all occasions. I used to mow my lawn in bikini bottoms, my wellies and big plastic protection goggles! No wonder my neighbours came out when I cut my grass! My other form of footwear is my bare feet. When my son was little, for a while, we never wore shoes, ever! He wasn’t so keen but I told him this is how we role! Lol! We also grew our hair in dreadlocks and I homeschooled him in the beginning, on the beach! 

I have stopped running, finally and although I will get the van and live the nomadic life, I will also be fighting, tirelessly, for an autism friendly world. I have no idea how it’s all going to happen but now I’ve got the help I’ve so desperately needed all my life, I’m going to learn to be me again and help others do the same. It won’t happen in a day but I’m beyond grateful for all the support I’m getting right now and I have relaxed enough to be able to take this one day at a time. 

In a little over a month, post diagnosis, I’ve got the help I’ve been seeking for 50 years. I’ve still got a little way to go with it and I’m not saying it’s going to be easy but I won’t accept anything less than we deserve. We did not come to this earth to compromise ourselves, one bit, which doesn’t mean we’re selfish jerks, but it does mean that we have a basic right, by way of being born, to a happy and fulfilling life and you guys have given me more love and support than I’ve had in a lifetime so far so there cannot be anything wrong with us. Love, support, acceptance, encouragement, caring, understanding and so much more you have given to me and the world is lacking in these things, which tells me, the world needs us as much as we need them. I can’t not speak out for us. No more running, apart from through puddles and leaves and all things messy! ;) 

Do you think you’ll ever stop running...

i live the vision of you splashing puddles! Don’t forget the piles of autumn leaves....or giant footsteps to be made in freshly settled snow x