Self harming and suicide thoughts

Hi there, I’m not a parent, but what your son is doing/saying does sound rather familiar. I would never have told my parents though because I’m pretty sure how they would have reacted - or maybe I don’t actually know. So you have already done something great, you have made him feel save enough to tell you, and when he told you you took him serious and you didn’t tell him off. Maybe that sounds like something you would take for granted but it’s really not. Guess many parents don’t do that because they are actually angry but they just don’t know any better way of reacting.

Regarding the self-harm, as shocking as that will sound to you now, but unless he actually does something that could easily go out of control it’s not really quite as bad as it seems (assuming that it seems incredibly bad to you). Sorry, bad is perhaps not a very precise word, I’m not very good at that. Maybe try if he wants to tell you about it, why he does it, what he does? He may have done that for a while or for the first time, maybe he wants to talk about it. Try to stay calm if he does (well, if he doesn't then as well, of course), you don’t need to tell him that it’s all fine if he hurts himself, but it’s alright to feel the need to do it, and to not have a better alternative at the moment.

Regarding suicidal thoughts, I guess they will have checked how concrete they are, if he has a specific plan, and if so if he has organised the means to follow that plan, and presumably they have decided he hasn’t, otherwise they would hopefully not let it wait for so long. Maybe he is able to talk to you about it too? Guess the better you know what’s going on in his head the better you can decide how urgent it is and whether anything changes. Don’t think you need to see it as wrapping him in cotton wool, maybe wrapping him in arms, literally or not, is something he does need at the moment? If he doesn’t feel like he is worth much or something like that then clear signs showing that you love and care about him may be quite important to him. They certainly would have been to me, and I guess my parents did love and care about me and they were sure they were showing it quite clearly, but I often didn’t get it.

Have they given you some emergency number for that crisis team? They do have someone there 24/7, so if you don’t have their number it would probably be good to ask for it. Guess they are not going to fix him on Wednesday either or ever really, but you are not as helpless as you may feel at the moment to support him and get through this together, because you are doing it already.

Take care, and maybe watching this here www.youtube.com/watch helps a little (in case you can’t sleep anyway). There’s a bit on related issues, your son may feel that way or not, maybe you can find out, it's a possibility at least if they didn't think he is clinically depressed.

Hi there, I’m not a parent, but what your son is doing/saying does sound rather familiar. I would never have told my parents though because I’m pretty sure how they would have reacted - or maybe I don’t actually know. So you have already done something great, you have made him feel save enough to tell you, and when he told you you took him serious and you didn’t tell him off. Maybe that sounds like something you would take for granted but it’s really not. Guess many parents don’t do that because they are actually angry but they just don’t know any better way of reacting.

Regarding the self-harm, as shocking as that will sound to you now, but unless he actually does something that could easily go out of control it’s not really quite as bad as it seems (assuming that it seems incredibly bad to you). Sorry, bad is perhaps not a very precise word, I’m not very good at that. Maybe try if he wants to tell you about it, why he does it, what he does? He may have done that for a while or for the first time, maybe he wants to talk about it. Try to stay calm if he does (well, if he doesn't then as well, of course), you don’t need to tell him that it’s all fine if he hurts himself, but it’s alright to feel the need to do it, and to not have a better alternative at the moment.

Regarding suicidal thoughts, I guess they will have checked how concrete they are, if he has a specific plan, and if so if he has organised the means to follow that plan, and presumably they have decided he hasn’t, otherwise they would hopefully not let it wait for so long. Maybe he is able to talk to you about it too? Guess the better you know what’s going on in his head the better you can decide how urgent it is and whether anything changes. Don’t think you need to see it as wrapping him in cotton wool, maybe wrapping him in arms, literally or not, is something he does need at the moment? If he doesn’t feel like he is worth much or something like that then clear signs showing that you love and care about him may be quite important to him. They certainly would have been to me, and I guess my parents did love and care about me and they were sure they were showing it quite clearly, but I often didn’t get it.

Have they given you some emergency number for that crisis team? They do have someone there 24/7, so if you don’t have their number it would probably be good to ask for it. Guess they are not going to fix him on Wednesday either or ever really, but you are not as helpless as you may feel at the moment to support him and get through this together, because you are doing it already.

Take care, and maybe watching this here www.youtube.com/watch helps a little (in case you can’t sleep anyway). There’s a bit on related issues, your son may feel that way or not, maybe you can find out, it's a possibility at least if they didn't think he is clinically depressed.