4 year old hates trousers'

my son hates wearing trousers finding it ery difficult at the moment especially with the cold winter months he always wants to wear shorts I find I'm always saying to him if he wears them I will reward him running out of things to say , he gets so frustrated and angey most of the time he wants to be naked.

any other tips strategies.

Thanks Lu

Parents
  • Hi Lu, 

    I am autistic, and I find some fabrics completely unbearable against my skin. The parts of my body that I can't handle fabric against does vary (sometimes I find having fabric against my stomach really horrible, and other times it is fine) but I always hate having fabric against my legs. As an adult, walking around in my knickers all the time obviously isnt an option! So, I have worked hard to find fabrics and fits of clothing that I find bearable. I have some trousers that are really tight on my legs (labeled 'super skinny', or 'leggings') that are good because they are tight enough that you dont really feel the fabric moving against your skin. I also have some that are looser, soft 'jeans' material and some that are very loose, soft linen. Oh and some tracksuit bottoms as well. In all honesty though, I would much rather walk around with bare legs if it was socially acceptable.

    I used to be a nanny so I appreciate it isn't that easy to have conversations about the fit of clothes or fabrics with a 4 year old, but could you maybe go to a haberdashery/fabric shop, and get some little samples of different fabrics so you can test which ones he likes the feel of and is ok having next to his skin, and which ones he finds unbearable?

    I dont use the word 'unbearable' lightly. I was recently given some PJs as a present and the fabric and cut of them make me feel genuinely sick. They are beautiful PJs, but thinking about them being gathered at the ankle makes me feel physically sick. if it is something you struggle to understand, try imagining hundreds of insects crawling all over your skin, and how unpleasant and uncomfortable that would be. it doesn't physically feel like insects on my skin to me, but the mental discomfort and upset is very similar. And some fabrics can feel very painful. When you think about it like that, it isnt surprising you are struggling to think of rewards persuasive enough for him to keep his trousers on! The people on 'I'm a celebrity, get me out of here' get paid an awful lot of money to feel the discomfort and upset of bugs crawling on them! ;)  

    Also, at home, I much prefer having bare legs and if I get cold, I wrap myself up in a really soft, fluffy blanket (it feels much more bearable than trousers). Could you let him pick out a very soft (easily washable) blanket and let him 'wear' that around the house rather than trousers when he is cold? That way he won't be cold, and it may help him get used to having some fabric next to his skin? When it comes down to it, I'd argue that as a 4 year old it doesn't really matter what he is wearing (conventional clothes, blanket toga, or a combination of the two) as long as he's safe and happy. 

    I hope that's helpful. 

    Best wishes

Reply
  • Hi Lu, 

    I am autistic, and I find some fabrics completely unbearable against my skin. The parts of my body that I can't handle fabric against does vary (sometimes I find having fabric against my stomach really horrible, and other times it is fine) but I always hate having fabric against my legs. As an adult, walking around in my knickers all the time obviously isnt an option! So, I have worked hard to find fabrics and fits of clothing that I find bearable. I have some trousers that are really tight on my legs (labeled 'super skinny', or 'leggings') that are good because they are tight enough that you dont really feel the fabric moving against your skin. I also have some that are looser, soft 'jeans' material and some that are very loose, soft linen. Oh and some tracksuit bottoms as well. In all honesty though, I would much rather walk around with bare legs if it was socially acceptable.

    I used to be a nanny so I appreciate it isn't that easy to have conversations about the fit of clothes or fabrics with a 4 year old, but could you maybe go to a haberdashery/fabric shop, and get some little samples of different fabrics so you can test which ones he likes the feel of and is ok having next to his skin, and which ones he finds unbearable?

    I dont use the word 'unbearable' lightly. I was recently given some PJs as a present and the fabric and cut of them make me feel genuinely sick. They are beautiful PJs, but thinking about them being gathered at the ankle makes me feel physically sick. if it is something you struggle to understand, try imagining hundreds of insects crawling all over your skin, and how unpleasant and uncomfortable that would be. it doesn't physically feel like insects on my skin to me, but the mental discomfort and upset is very similar. And some fabrics can feel very painful. When you think about it like that, it isnt surprising you are struggling to think of rewards persuasive enough for him to keep his trousers on! The people on 'I'm a celebrity, get me out of here' get paid an awful lot of money to feel the discomfort and upset of bugs crawling on them! ;)  

    Also, at home, I much prefer having bare legs and if I get cold, I wrap myself up in a really soft, fluffy blanket (it feels much more bearable than trousers). Could you let him pick out a very soft (easily washable) blanket and let him 'wear' that around the house rather than trousers when he is cold? That way he won't be cold, and it may help him get used to having some fabric next to his skin? When it comes down to it, I'd argue that as a 4 year old it doesn't really matter what he is wearing (conventional clothes, blanket toga, or a combination of the two) as long as he's safe and happy. 

    I hope that's helpful. 

    Best wishes

Children
  • Hello. My son really liked his Spiderman costume at this age. I don’t just think it was because it was Spiderman, although this was one factor, but the material was very soft without itchy labels. I used to have to take it off him when he was asleep to wash it!