I feel so desperately sad and guilty for getting my son his diagnosis. Ben is 14yrs old and was diagnosed early this year. He has really struggled with what he perceives to be a horrendous label. Last night he got so upset and angry he smashed half the room up shouting how he hates the teacher that first mentioned getting him assessed and that he wakes up every morning scared friends will find out and he feels that each day is as bad as if he heard I was dying and he would rather die than go through each day feeling like this. I feel so guilty that I went through the assessment process, I feel like I have ruined his life when all I wanted to do is get him the help to achieve as much as I now he can achieve. I know he needs counselling to get through this but at the minute he refuses to go anywhere that is anything remotely to do with 'The A Word' as he calls it.
As a teacher parents say..I want him assessed...but I don’t want him to have a label....diagnosis is useful...stigma is quite another thing
oktanol said:Hi nen67t, I can definitely emphasize with him (how's that possible, aren't we supposed to be really bad at that?).
In terms of 'us' feeling empathy with other autistic people, the expression "Each to their own," has some baring, involving emotional identification on account of similar or likewise ranges of experience ~ autistic 'sense and sensibility' sort of thing..
Perhaps you and others might find the topic of 'autism and double empathy' to some extent relevant as covered in the following PDF link:
Or else consider just the following from it:
The double empathy/cross-neurological hypothesis of Milton and Beardon can be summarised as follows:
(1) non-autistic people appear to have as much difficulty in understanding autistic minds as vice versa.
(2) autistic people often develop a greater understanding of society than non-autistic people develop of autism; and
(3) autistic people have a similar ability to empathise with other autistic people as non-autistic people have with their peers.
In order not to open a discussion here and go off topic from nen67t's inquiry, I have started a thread featuring this information ~ just in case people are inclined to discuss it, with the NAS link being:
Hi, I'm not sure whether I can offer any helpful suggestions, but I would like to try. I wonder how badly he has been struggling to fit in, and whether he always hoped that he would one day. If so, the diagnosis might seem like a burden and a loss right now. I hope that he will come to see the positive side in time - any bullies at school won't necessarily go easier on him because of the diagnosis, but teachers and others can now begin to understand him better. Also, he has a reason for being the way he is, and if he was feeling bad about himself and worrying that he wasn't trying hard enough, that can now change. Finally, there will be places where he can join in and feel accepted, either with other autistic people, or with neuorotypical people who understand about ASD. I wish you and him all the best.
It's possible that he may have difficulty processing and accepting the situation. I think that over time, he will learn to accept it, and things will hopefully get betterx
Much love <3
Deepthought, I have been going through these same emotions following my sons diagnosis , thanks for sharing , I have copied and pasted for another friend going through the same feelings.