Published on 12, July, 2020
I feel so desperately sad and guilty for getting my son his diagnosis. Ben is 14yrs old and was diagnosed early this year. He has really struggled with what he perceives to be a horrendous label. Last night he got so upset and angry he smashed half the room up shouting how he hates the teacher that first mentioned getting him assessed and that he wakes up every morning scared friends will find out and he feels that each day is as bad as if he heard I was dying and he would rather die than go through each day feeling like this. I feel so guilty that I went through the assessment process, I feel like I have ruined his life when all I wanted to do is get him the help to achieve as much as I now he can achieve. I know he needs counselling to get through this but at the minute he refuses to go anywhere that is anything remotely to do with 'The A Word' as he calls it.
Hi, I'm not sure whether I can offer any helpful suggestions, but I would like to try. I wonder how badly he has been struggling to fit in, and whether he always hoped that he would one day. If so, the diagnosis might seem like a burden and a loss right now. I hope that he will come to see the positive side in time - any bullies at school won't necessarily go easier on him because of the diagnosis, but teachers and others can now begin to understand him better. Also, he has a reason for being the way he is, and if he was feeling bad about himself and worrying that he wasn't trying hard enough, that can now change. Finally, there will be places where he can join in and feel accepted, either with other autistic people, or with neuorotypical people who understand about ASD. I wish you and him all the best.