Don't know how to cope!

My daughter is 15 she has high functioning Autism. She has been struggling for a while with depression but only diagnosed last July. She is being detained in hospital under section 2. She self-arms and the hospital is unable to provide appropriate care and keep her safe with the result of her being moved from one ward to another with five minutes notice saying: " the team has decided you need to move shall we go?". I have been finding it hard to cope anyone can tell me how do you keep sane? 

  • I am sorry to read about this. It it can be ver distressful having a relative admitted under the MHA. Section 2 is for assessment and it is time limited to 28 days. It is not uncommon for mental health hospitals to have a short term assessment ward (also called triage wards) and then transfer to another ward for longer term treatment. Have there been many moves?

    i agree with others that you should make sure that your daughter has an advocate. I hope the hospital is keeping you informed too and involved.

    I am not presuming anything about her treatment plans, but transferring to specialist hospitals takes time and at 15 she is with CAMHS (?). I hope so. The tier 4 specialist services are with NHS England rather than local CCGs and there referral processes and assessments and things take a little while. Hang in there and try to keep informed of why the hospital are doing things. It might help to ask for the nurse in charge, manager or consultant to get a clearer explanation . 

    Apologies if I've told you nothing you don't already know. I work in adult mental health so my understanding is more adjacent than specific.

  • Unfortunately the place  I am referring to is for men only and over 18.

    Mill Garth Hospital

    Mill Garth Hospital is a 21 bedded locked rehabilitation and recovery service suitable for men aged 18 years and over. The hospital focuses on active rehabilitation and recovery for those with mental illness and personality disorders.

  • Thank you I would be interested to know where this place you are talking about is located. I am trying to get my daughter moved to another unit. I would love to take her home but she is a risk to herself so I have no choice for now. 

  • First of all, remind yourself, you're doing the very best you can at this point in time. This is not easy and I can't imagine what you're going through but I do know you're doing the very best you can. Are you aware of your daughter's rights under Section 2 and that she is entitled to an independent advocate. Are the hospital keeping you informed and involved?. Have you got anybody to talk to? Even talking things over, to get them off your chest, with someone like the samaritans can help. It's easy to get things out of perspective at times like this and talking about it can help with that. Would you feel more comfortable if you spent more time at the hospital? The main thing is she's as safe as can be at present.  Do all the things that are within your control and leave the rest. Easier said than done I know, but worrying about the things we have no control over does not help and will only make things worse. The  best you can do is accept that this is hard, this is a situation that no parent ever wants to find themselves in, no one would find this easy and the best thing you can do, after you have done all the things you can, is to be kind, loving and gentle with yourself, treat yourself like your best friend. What would you say to a friend in this situation? Have you got anyone you can turn to? I don't know what to say, I wish I could help. Two of my nieces have been through similar things, I think they're both on the spectrum but it's never been picked up but the main thing is, they're coming through it. My youngest niece was in a clinic for anorexia at 15 for a year, she was very close to death and was and I think she still is, self harming but it's getting less. I don't know how my sister in law and sister coped as I haven't spoke to them about it and I don't know how my family coped with me. It's very hard to see a loved on suffer. Sending you and your daughter lots of love. I wish I could do more. X

  • What kind of hospital is she in ?  You mention being moved from ward to ward. It sounds like a large place.

    Near me there is a secure mental health unit for people who are either a danger to other people or to themselves.  It's quite a small place with room for only 21 people.  So patients can get individual attention. ( So says the website!).