Dating sites

I found my previous partner on Plenty of Fish, we dated for 2.5 years. One of his friends met his fiance on there and they are marrying this year.

Thank you for saying that nobody or not many people that are on those paid dating sites as I just wish that most or a lot of them were free of charge as like myself would not want to pay for things like that as I am shocked that unfortunately people had to pay even for things like that and also how expensive some of them can be too.

On the "Plentyoffish" web site it says that:

"Users with images uploaded to their accounts are significantly more likely to get messages or get responses from other users."  I read somewhereelse that users with photographs were ten times more likely to get a response than those who didn't put up a photograph.  If people looking at dating profiles don't see a photograph, they might think that the person without a photograph has something to hide for example they might already be married or be exceptionally ugly.

When I started with online dating, I was reluctant to put up my picture, but after a while in order to improve my chances, I took photographs which I put online, I had a picture from a distance rather than a close up photograph.

There is a good article about online dating  on Wikipedia:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Online_dating_service

In it there is mention of paid for dating websites:

"For instance, some profiles may not represent real humans but rather "bait profiles" placed online by site owners to attract new paying members, or "spam profiles" created by advertisers to market services and products."

Some years ago, I took out a number of one month subscriptions to paid for dating websites.  As the month was drawing to a close, I suddenly had an approach from a woman, to reply I had to renew my subscription.  I renewed  my subscription, only to be immediately rebuffed, so I suspect that the "woman" was a bait profile.

I eventually found love on a free dating website, so online dating worked for me.  But it took a few years.

How to find a friend?

I think that it is almost impossible to find a friend if one is autistic.

I have looked at the dating websites but they all want to set up my profile. I do not want to publish my photo.

I have also noticed that a lot of people are looking for sex with strangers, which is ridiculous. How can one have sex with someone you just met?

Is it true, that paid websites are useless because no one wants to pay, so there are no people?

There is currently a Channel 4 series called "The Undateables" on television:

http://www.channel4.com/programmes/the-undateables

Sometimes they have Autistic people featured on dates.  It is an interesting programme to watch to see how various people get on on their dates.

. said:

However, he has a big heart and is a kind man and those are what attracted me (and still do!)

That's really nice!

I don't thing people will mind too much if you don't post a photo.  Society is so driven by looks.  My husband is amazed that I married him (we met via a dating site) - he is older than me and three times my weight...and self conscious about it.  However, he has a big heart and is a kind man and those are what attracted me (and still do!)

{Removed by California}

Dating sites are a minefield.....some genuine people and those that other other agendas....take your time making friendships first online, don't reveal too much about yourself and keep yourself safe.

make a list of the things that went wrong in previous relationships, or repeating patterns.... read this now and again to try to ensure that you don't find yourself in the same bear trap.

i met my now husband online....I wasn't necessarily looking for his love, but just to feel less lonely..,and to have an ally out there...don't want to repeat past mistakes.....and certainly not strong enough to be hurt again.

good luck...hope you find what you are looking for.

So, what are the best dating websites for autistic people in the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland?

i had a look at all of those, the 1st 3 are the same company in different guises and charge a fee for seeing any messages or sending them (this is normal, free sign-up then find that out. pof.com is the biggest really free site). aspie-singles forum only has posts from most recently march this year. That's not bad as forums go - most of them are dead. These are the things to check before you sign up, date of most recent activity and if you can open and send messages for free or not. Otherwise you have to shut down loads of accounts you made, or leave your personal details everywhere. Also, get a dedicated email for it, as they spam you something awful (hello pof). If you join pof (which in rural areas is best, there's hardly anyone near you on there in a rural area anyway, paid-for ones screen out lots of people but that's a problem for hot young women in cities, not OAPs in the countryside) i recommend the UK forum (they strictly allow only using your own country's forum) the others are mostly out of date, little recent activity, if amusing to read, but the UK one is very very lively with all sorts of threads and new ones going on. You can join just for the forum, put that in your profile and make your profile not visible to search (people can still click on your name and see it).

i think their should be dating site for autistic people and non autistic people to meet up so other can learn to understand each other

I am really impressed by: www.aspie-singles.com I signed up there. I believe it is built by someone on the spectrum...

It seems very professional in lay out and functionality and what I like best is that is non-profit. I think it still has to grow a bit but my bet is that it will be very big. I really liked what they wrote on the frontpage too.

What they say:

Why  aspie-singles.com?

For most people with Asperger’s it’s a day to day challenge to feel safe and understood by neurotypical people. And even though there is a number of dating sites for people with high functioning autism, most of those are expensive pay-sites where you only receive very limited free access. At aspie-singles.com you will receive full access and full functionality for free. And it will stay for free.

I have Aspergers and Tourettes, I was diagnosed in 1998 by the National Autistic Society. To be honest dating sites are useless because they're very expensive wanting £30 a month or more, plus all dating sites i've ever been on are full of people who're amazingly shallow and won't even reply to your messages unless they think you're gorgeous. I'm on Plenty Of Fish and in my 'Sent' box all I see is "Read and deleted"..."Read and deleted"..."Read and deleted"..."Read and deleted".... I've been single 14 years now, in that time i've messaged thousands of women trying to be friendly, some have replied but only for a couple of messages and then started ignoring me.

Not one woman from my home town of Boston in Lincolnshire has ever rpelied to a message I sent her so....I have no faith in dating sites at all. I've never cheated on a girl and always treated them amazing.

Is it just me that all this is strange? Someone being that close to you? NT's seem to go from partner to partner without any consideration or apprchiation of what they can offer them. No offence itended but ireallycan't understand anyone, it all seems so frivolous and meaningless. Any thoughts? I have no idea??

So unpredictable all this.

Hi i havn't read the ful thread yet but its good someone brought this up. The stories i could tell of askig women out and beenig looked at and being treat like a weirdo and the arguments that followed. I definatly can't offer any advice in this areabut hopelully someone can't too us both..

Laddo said:

I've been feeling kinda lonely romantically lately a few months after coming out of an abusive relationship and don't really want to/am no good at "dating" the way NT people do it. The solution, naturally, seems to be dating sites. The trouble is, there are thousands of these sites around and I'm having trouble filtering the good ones from the bad ones, and especially finding sites that may be a bit more accommodating to a fairly shy bloke with Aspergers. Has anyone on here got any success stories from dating sites? If so, which site(s) did you use and how long did it take to find lurrrrrve?

I was looking for a dating site, and came across quite a free for my daughter, but most people are right they are way too expensive! It seems pretty unfair to make us pay a lot for dating sites, that should be availible for free, however I did contact http://wowdate.co.uk/ who did give me a discount code for match.com! Worked out pretty well to be honest.

I met my husband on an online dating site!  For me what worked was picking a special site that reflected my interests - it was important to me that my partner shared my religious beliefs so I went on a dedicated site.  It also meant it was less of a "meat market" and more about people genuinely looking for a relationship.

I would suggest you get an NT friend or two to check your profile to make sure it does accurately describe you, and that any pictures of you are fair / flattering.  I would also look at friendship sites as well as romantic dating sites, there is likely to be less judgement and it might give you the space to develop a romantic relationship slowly from a context of friendship rather than being immediately measured against your date's idea of the "ideal partner".

Just a few random thoughts anyway... good luck!

I'm guessing no1 has any views or thoughts on my last comment