Well I'm back.....

.........and still very sleepy. The plane was late so I did not get home on Tuesday night till 3 30 in the morning, work next day and the flat stank to high heaven thanks to the cats using the bathroom floor as a latrine instead of their litters.

It did not me seeing the house being emptied, that it was all over. Strangely though I still feels sense of completion, that it was a liberation for my mother. She was so lost after Dad's passing and I put that into the tribute. Now she is free. I am no medium, but that is the sense I have. When one of my cats passed I saw strange shadows in the corner of my eyes for a while afterwards and then independently, Mum reported something very similar. Those shadows, whether or not an optician could explain it rather, were cold comfort anyway. 

The confrontation I was afraid of with brother did happen, but it also cleared the air though there may still be one or two problems ahead with the wills. 

It is such a relief that school's out - as it happens so am I as my contract will not be renewed. I still have my business through and my own clientele. The commute was exhausting and the chalk hurt my chest and basically, these were not motivated kids and the probably prefer home cooking as far as teaching goes. 

I so want to focus more on creative work too - attending art fairs, entering more competitions. And being truly freelance rather than being a subcontractee. 

I don't know why we have such strange lives, with all the misunderstandings. Both my parents came from pretty dysfunctional situations themselves. 

Yada yada yada, that is all really

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