Published on 12, July, 2020
I was bored and not happy here
I am sure we all like you here.
We all care about you.
We do... how are you California?
I received another friendship request from Rachael.
I just do not know what to do with them.
Do others get friendship requests from Rachael?
) ( said:She has asked for specifics things which are against forum rules, I have never bothered to read the rules as I hope just being me is sufficient to not break rules which are both for the safety of others as well as myself. I may inadvertently break them, I also wonder just how many actually read all the rules when joining here?
I was a bit frustrated that I had to look for the community rules after I had joined here as a community member, as I prefer to know what is what legally before I sign up to anything.
Currently, if anyone wishes to read the community rules, they can be accessed via the Terms and Conditions link at the bottom left of each page, as being second to last under the heading Useful Links .
Or else by the following link:
http://www.autism.org.uk/get-involved/about-us/website/site-terms.aspx
Thank you for the comment.
I completely agree with you.
It is more important what in the mind is for me, as well.
However, if I do not have the picture, I tend to imagine how the person might look like. Obviously, close to something I tend to find to be attractive to me.
For some reason, I almost never ask for the pictures first. If someone does want to provide, I do not ask. I just tend to imagine how the person might look like. I even enjoy this imagining thing.
So, it might come as a big shock to me after the several months if there is a big difference between the two.
) ( said:they may not firstly understand me and secondly miss the chatter or small talk most expect.
I have exactly the same problem.
I think I would enjoy a lot more simply sitting in and enjoying the silence together than trying to force chatter or small talk as I am horrible at them. If we have nothing to discuss, then silence is much better than talking something pointlessly.
As I tend to get sensory overloads from noises, I really would enjoy and get pleasure being with someone I like in silence as I am less anxious and more able to enjoy being with someone.
I am only me and therefore what I say or think will most probably be wrong,,,,On a dating website I imagine much of the people looking to meet up are looking for looks in a person as most first judge by looks alone,then move onto what is in the mind,a sense of humour is considered very important by some.
I am not sure I would visit a dating website as no matter what my looks are once they get to know what is in my head they may not firstly understand me and secondly miss the chatter or small talk most expect.
So being on here is I imagine firstly not about dating, friendship maybe if two share common beliefs or in our case traits, it allows a unique understanding that is only to be truly found between two like minds,
words are not always needed whenbtwo come together and connect inacway like never before.
anyway, some members here are not used to how things are out there in the chaotic world called NT land, It would be very easy to be taken advantage of, hence why NAS say not to post any personal details,
take care California, be a little guarded, if somebody really wants to be friends then lots of talking will be expected and fine, image is really not important, it is what’s inside the mind that makes a person.
x()x
Thank you very much for the comment.
This makes sense.
) ( said: I certainly wouldn’t send any pictures of myself unless the person was so very special indeed, that special person would have to have shown me understanding and truly care for who I am, which would be a reciprocal thing, shared understanding built up over many months maybe,
This is a good advice. However, I am not sure if I would have the patience to wait for many months. That's a long time.
I find one thing strange.
People post the pictures of them on the dating sites all over the place.
Posting pictures on the dating sites is considered one of the things that increases the chance of finding someone as no one wants to talk for a long time with someone they cannot see.
So, my question is.
Why should we guard our images here and not to post them if it is perfectly normal to post them on the dating websites? What is the difference really? I find it difficult to grasp the difference.
Hi California, may I suggest you not send pictures of yourself to anyone, not at least until you have talked to them a long long time,shared interests, read how they interact on here with others,
Pictures maybe of things not connected in a personal manner maybe?
others will advise on that maybe better.
I certainly wouldn’t send any pictures of myself unless the person was so very special indeed, that special person would have to have shown me understanding and truly care for who I am, which would be a reciprocal thing, shared understanding built up over many months maybe,
be fareful California.
) ( said:many attempted to ask questions, she didn’t reply to most, maybe she was trying to focus on just one not a group? She looked for someone that was similar in wants and possible likes as herself,
At one point at the beginning she was so focused on me. She only talked to me.
She kept asking for pictures.
I must say that I am not interested in her in the way that would justify sending her pictures.
However, if she would be someone else, I might send the pictures.
This is really scary.
How do you know when to send pictures and when not to send them?