Published on 12, July, 2020
I think one of the things that give me very high stress is: waiting for workmen to show up at your home. They can only say if they will be there in the morning or the afternoon. Which is very vague. So I sit like a hostage, frightened that the doorbel (too loud) might ring any second. And it drives me crazy and I seem unable to do anything else... I've always had this. For years, I didn't have things fixed - because I didn't like asking people in - ; but still - I really hate it. It is only since my diagnosis two years ago, I realise this probably is a textbook stress giver : "knowing something will happen but not knowing when"?
How do you all deal with this kind of thing?
I distract my mind, if I can. It’s not a perfect solution and can have the added stress that I then don’t want to stop what I’m doing so I’m likely to not answer the door. Lol! I told you ~ not perfect! I’m still working on it!
What I have realised, is that I don’t seem to have any control over it. I’m getting better at it and I’ve noticed that when I’m feeling good, in that I can afford to spend some time around other humans, I’m more ok with somebody coming round ~ or as ok as I’ll ever be. However, that follows more than a year of barely anybody coming round ever, and me not leaving the house.
So I don’t think it can be approached from just one perspective. For example, I have started to have rests following and before any known interactions, so that the effects of the interaction, don’t last for days. I might have to take time out before and after but then it’l be over, and through that, I have also started to see the evidence. That I ‘was’ ok, I did handle it, it may not have been my favourite thing to do but it was ok.
I’m working towards creating a home environment where people won’t knock on my door. When in the U.K. I’ll be living in a van and moving around. When I live abroad, I chose where I live and don’t stay in environments that raise my stress levels.
I have someone coming to my house next week to check the gas and electric meters so I’ve asked my son to be here when they come. I already told them I’m autistic and don’t like people coming to my house and that I won’t answer the door if it isn’t a prearranged visit so they know that visits have to be arranged before hand and at times/days when I can best cope with them or can have someone with me or to be here on my behalf.
I only got my diagnosis last October so I’m still discovering new things, such as, oh, so that’s autism as well! So it’s all a bit of trial and error just now and it sometimes feels like a bit of a slow process but it’s not. I’ve learned so much already and have already started to implement some changes.
Good to know it’s not only me and if anybody else has any solutions that have worked for them, I’d love to hear about them.