Personal responsibility and personal control

How many people take full responsibility and total control for themselves and their lives?

For example, if you are happy, sad, angry, jealous or whatever, do you take full 100% responsibility for that emotion or do you think you have no control over yourself and your life. That your feelings control you or that ‘things’ just mysteriously happen to you for which you have no control and that ‘they’ are the cause of your happiness, sadness etc? 

Do you live in a world of appearances, where things outside of you have more value and control over your life than you do. Or do you live from the heart, knowing no bounds and knowing that the only power that exists in the world is that which is within you, that which is you. 

I only ask because of course, being a typical aspie, I think everyone thinks like me. This has caused a lot of misunderstanding for me, and others. I now realise that the misunderstandings come from the difference in the way I see the world and processes it. 

Most people I talk to think that their parents are their parents and their kids their kids etc, that love is an exclusive thing and although it’s ok to say you love your children unconditionally, after that, they pick and choose who they’re going to love as if it’s something they have and will only give it to people who meet the mark. 

They think that when they forgive somebody for some wrong deed or other, that they’re forgiving the person, not realising that the bad feelings and thoughts were in them, they are the ones who need the forgiveness, not the other person. What’s the other person going to do with your forgiveness anyway? Is it possible to pass it on to them? 

I’ve realised that I think very differently to most people. Well I kind of already knew that, but not quite to the extent that I understand it now. 

My realisation means that I’m less inclined to make any efforts to mix with people (I mix with aspies at my autism group, I’m cool with that) but for most others, apart from the random strangers I love talking to, I’ve decided, I’m off the hook, I don’t have to make an effort anymore, we speak different languages, we live in different worlds, or at least different dimensions, so any level of communication is going to create confusion, on both sides. It’s like one side is speaking Japanese and the other German or something, two totally different languages. 

How utterly delightful, I no longer need to make the effort, how sweet Ok hand tone3V tone2 Two heartsSparkling heart

Parents
  • I find that everyone makes me accountable for THEIR responsibilities as I mask too well...so I lack a sense of my own autonomy. I am too good at seeming to cope, too practical, too eager to serve others to fulfil an irrational desire to be accepted.., so like a human buckeroo, weighed down and feeling trapped 

Reply
  • I find that everyone makes me accountable for THEIR responsibilities as I mask too well...so I lack a sense of my own autonomy. I am too good at seeming to cope, too practical, too eager to serve others to fulfil an irrational desire to be accepted.., so like a human buckeroo, weighed down and feeling trapped 

Children
  • Yeah, I know all about being made responsible for others and having the irrational desire to be accepted and to please others and it’s only when I realised I was autistic that I started to find my true freedom. I hope you find your freedom TheTalentedmute. It hasn’t been easy to shed feeling responsible for others etc but I’m doing ok at it.