Mortgages and living alone

Perhaps that 'anxiety' is sense.  I think it's certainly sensible to be cautious about unknowns.

Each to their own again - but I cover everything financially with my income, I have a roof over my head, I don't need to rely on any form of financial support (at the moment, at least - but who knows?), and I feel as secure and happy as I've ever felt in my life. 

Strangely, the one time in my life when I did have quite a bit of spare cash, I again didn't feel happy.  I felt pressure to do something worthwhile with it, at the same time as thinking I should treat myself to a few things.  When it was all, finally, gone - I felt relief again!

I guess I just like to keep things as simple as possible.  That's my way of keeping in control of it.

I'd say each to their own... but the only time in my life when I was truly unhappy and felt like my life was out of my control was when I had a mortgage.  I'm a good budgeter.  I live, and always have lived, within my means.  I have a pathological fear of debt, having grown up in circumstances where that fear was very real.  I work now, in my 50s, as I have generally worked in life, too - on a low income.  My take-home pay is less that £12k a year.  But I have cheap rent, don't need to maintain an expensive social life, and don't have any other major outgoings  - apart from electricity, and maintenance for the car.  I only have a car because my work is hard to get to otherwise.  Outside of work travel, I don't use it.  If anything goes wrong with that arrangement - if I lose my job, say, or if I have a health issue (my Asperger's has led to some extended periods of sick leave in the past) - then I can get help.  I never looked at my mortgage as 'investment in bricks and mortar' or 'a step on the road to self-betterment'.  I looked at is as a huge debt hanging over me. 

As I say, though - we are all different, and all see these things differently.  I'm not against taking calculated risks - which a mortgage always is, though you can mitigate that to some degree with protection insurance.  But in my station of life, I'm happy with what I have - meagre and austere though many would find it.  I need to be able to manage my affairs properly, and know there are safeguards in place should I need them.  There's a bit of a fetish about home-ownership in this country. You don't find it in some other countries - such as Germany, for instance, where even many of the better off rent.  People say to me 'it's throwing money away, renting'.  But that's not how I see it.  I'd sooner have the other sense of security it brings, and the degree of control it gives me.  Plus, if I want to move, I don't have the hassle of trying to sell.  Again, that's just my way of looking at it.  A few years back, I had a young friend in her 20s who had a really good job and a reasonable income.  So she invested in a property.  It had been drummed into her by her parents that it was the only way.  Unfortunately, she became very ill - mental health problems - and became an alcohol addict.  She lost her job, and it all became too much.  She had a breakdown, tried to overdose, ended up getting Sectioned for a few weeks.  She got into fearful mortgage debt - but she refused to sell up, as she wanted to 'keep my foot on the property ladder.'  Unfortunately, she lost it in the end and had to declare for bankruptcy.  That's an extreme case... but it's just an example of what can happen - especially if health affairs are uncertain.  Which they are with everyone, anyway.  Again, it's a calculated risk.

Depending on where you live, I'd say that if you've managed to save a 50% deposit on a property, that's probably quite a substantial amount of money.  How about going half-way and buying something like a park home?  I know several people who've done that.  Even around here, in the affluent south-east, you can pick up really nice homes on quiet parks for around £50k.  Then it's paid for, and you just need to find ground maintenance costs.  Just a thought.

For reference I have diagnosed Asperger's, now Higher Functioning Autism Spectrum Disorder so I'm at the less impacted end of the scale.

After a blip with debt at 18/19 and the paying that off at 20-21 I've never been in debt until recently and my recent debt is entirely mortgage debt, I wouldn't want to take out unsecured debt in any form.

I have a budget which I follow, it allows me to know where exactly I am with money. Off the back of that I operate two different savings accounts, a buffer account which is for things I budget monthly but are paid annually (so I put the money in there monthly and take it back out when I need to pay that budget line) and a savings account for longer term savings.

In terms of everything else I don't really struggle with motivation apart from a few times a year. I get up in the morning, shower, shave, and go to work. At work I'll do an hour in the gym then shower before going to the office for around 08:00 so that gets me regular exercise. I cook virtually every day and don't keep convenience foods in the house and cook every evening whilst I also make lunch for the following day at work. Weekends are somewhat more flexible and I will vary my pattern when needed or if I go away, I generally stick to it as it works. 

I would recommend planning out things financially as well as a plan that you stick to for time, daily showers, regular cooking fitted around work (I presume that's where you get your income from?) and other activities.

NAS15974 said:

Being coerced into agreeing to a repayment scheme that can never be completed

I think this only happens when you can't get a "normal" mortgage because your financial situation does not suggest (enough) that you can repay it. If you go to a mortgage advisor (often estate agencies can recommend someone) they will tell you how much you will be able to get. Of course there are risks, they can partly be covered by insurances (you'll get advice on that too), but the assumption certainly is that if nothing goes badly wrong you will be able to repay your mortgage. The thing where people get frequently into trouble is when their financial situation didn't allow them to get a mortgage (large enough) the from "normal" lenders and then they turned to people who gave them one anyway, with awful conditions. So don't go that way, find out how much you can get and consider this as your upper limit.

I had a guy from Countrywide and he was brilliant. I had not the slightest clue about mortgages and felt at no point that anyone took advantage of this. If you know enough about the stuff yourself you can probably save two hundred pounds or so, but if you don't know much about it then I think it is a lot saver to get help and pay a bit for it.

NAS15974 said:

forced into a situation of spiralling depreciation due to extreme inflation at initial setup

Not really sure what you mean with that? The last years the general inflation was actually incredibly low, interest rates too, but maybe that's not what you are talking about? House prices have gone down in some areas, up in others, but when you buy a home (rather than a property) then that's less important to you, I'd think (although you may have to pay a little bit more of something at some point because they say you won't be able to sell your house to the price you bought it for so have to cover a larger amount to repay, but this is not about sums that are going to kill you).

I can totally understand why you want to avoid debt but it's not quite as awful as you seem to have got an impression. I'd say the key is to get advice from the start and stick to it.

It's hard to say as change is often based on the individual's motivation. I currently rent but am looking to but this year as I now have a deposit. I've found that cooking from scratch is a lot cheaper than buying convenience food so if you do need to start keeping an eye on your finances this may help. 

Would you mind sharing why you think debt is based on hate as I'm struggling to understand your viewpoint? I get why you think its based on greed, however, I'm wanting to get into debt in relation to a mortgage as I'd like a future where I'm not always paying rent. Once my mortgage is paid off I won't have as many outgoings so will be able to reduce my hours at work and as such have a better work/life balance.