Asperges and Dating

What are your experiences with dating and do you find it difficult to maintain a relationship? I find communication hard sometimes and can come across cold.

Parents
  • I don't do dating.  I meet someone by chance, or I don't meet them at all.  It needs to happen naturally.

    Which is a bit of a problem, as I don't understand flirtation signals.  I've missed some opportunities because of this.

    Finally, I've never been successful in sustaining a relationship.  I don't manage cohabitation very well... and I get separation anxiety!

    I have to say that I've never felt entirely comfortable - entirely 'right' psychologically - when I've been in a relationship.  In part it could be because my guard is down, and I lay myself open with my emotional vulnerabilities.  Meltdowns, breakdowns, mood disorders, suicide attempts... they've all been connected with relationships. 

    I guess I'm just better off alone!  Certainly, I'm more psychologically stable.

Reply
  • I don't do dating.  I meet someone by chance, or I don't meet them at all.  It needs to happen naturally.

    Which is a bit of a problem, as I don't understand flirtation signals.  I've missed some opportunities because of this.

    Finally, I've never been successful in sustaining a relationship.  I don't manage cohabitation very well... and I get separation anxiety!

    I have to say that I've never felt entirely comfortable - entirely 'right' psychologically - when I've been in a relationship.  In part it could be because my guard is down, and I lay myself open with my emotional vulnerabilities.  Meltdowns, breakdowns, mood disorders, suicide attempts... they've all been connected with relationships. 

    I guess I'm just better off alone!  Certainly, I'm more psychologically stable.

Children
  • Part of that probably comes from the fact that to open up to someone, give them the ability to be part of your life you also give them the ability to hurt you as well. 

    I don't think I'm better off alone or with someone, but I think it needs to be the right person.

    I don't have meltdowns etc. but I do like my own space sometimes so in theory living with someone would have been a problem, but I've recently bought a four bedroom house, so even if I needed a bit of my own space I can just go and hide in the study and work or play games for a bit) and there's plenty of space so we wouldn't always need to be in immediate proximity (if I'm cooking I like to be left to it, but there's a table at the other end of the kitchen that they could sit at and chat) That being said I also hope that with the right person I wouldn't really feel the need to get away from them as I've found that I don't feel the need to have my own space with certain family members or friends.

  • I can relate with you on the last part. I think where we are such individual people and our thought process is so much more everything just seems to affect us that much more it does make it more difficiult me personally the thought of living with someone scares me. That being said my cousin has asperges and he is married and got children and seemingly manages quite well. It really does depend on the individual but also is down to us to make sure we choose the right person when i say that i mean someone that we can open up to and connect without any fears.