.

Hi Bonniepurple, the signing in thing is in the reception area, so I’m guessing they take a register in the classroom with the teacher. They only go into class via the office if they’re late. I fully understand and accept them keeping a record of lateness, with the intention of being able to spot patterns of lateness etc then provide support/assistance or whatever if needs be. If they had asked me in the office when we got there, why the kids were late, I would have been more inclined to discuss it. That way we could discuss it out of the ear shot of the children and in privacy. The teacher or office worker could have explained to me why they keep the record and I would have felt better at dropping the kids off late because I had had a chance to talk to somebody about it and the child wouldn’t have felt so anxious. When my son was at the same primary school, 20 odd years ago, if the child was late, you went to the office but you would be met with a staff member, personally, who knew you etc, they would make sure the child was ok and got to their classroom ok etc, they would give me reassurance if I was stressed out about getting there late or they would talk if I needed to talk. Now, it feels so impersonal, cold and uncaring, so robotic and does nothing to help teach kids their responsibility about turning up on time. 

Kettles on :-) 

Thank you Lonewarrior. I could have written that. Thank god we have each other. 

Thank you Lonewarrior, I was going to delete this post until I read your comment. I was starting to sink back inside myself. I too have had those comments all my life - that’s not realistic, that’s not reality, people aren’t like that, yada yada yada!!! I was starting to feel like the village idiot who loves everybody. 

It doesn’t just hurt my head and soul, it hurts my whole body. It’s like a direct attack to my body, from all angels and on all levels. When that teacher didn’t greet my grandson, I felt it all through my body, right to my soul.  It’s incromprehensible, to me, from every angel and on any level, to put human kindness, love, care, attention, understanding, nurturing and joy, to that back of the list of priorities. 

I think we need nt’s. I value their perspectives on many things and we need them to build communities etc. However, what we need is a dialogue, we need a combination of both ways of looking at the world, because even nt’s aren’t happy. 

I’m so so grateful I have you guys. X

BlueRay, I am horrified at the school’s signing in approach. I’m heavily involved as a Governor at 2 primary schools and in both registration is done by the class teacher. I would not expect a child (especially not at primary age) to sign themselves in on a legal document. In both schools, if you are late you need to go via the office and explain to staff  your reason and record it inthe Late Book. This book is monitored to see if it’s a one off (car got stuck in mud, wouldn’t start) or a pattern (overslept as parent can’t function in the morning and kids organise themselves).

Dear Ellie,I have so felt that need,meetings that are prestructured,everyone desperate to play thier part,leader,duty carrier,recorder of facts or discussion,everything done by preset conditions and belief it is correct, no room for humanity or reason. 

I actually dress up just to try and fit in, I need props to change me enough, so much is my struggle to give it validity. Argh,,,,,

I have on occasion added humanity into such a meeting, it is met with stunned silence, looks of “what the?”.

 A sudden thought they see, but hesitation to accept it often just dismissed and then over ridden by Well it must be this way or that.the rules say so.

 A breath a sigh and just sit back and think why oh why?

I may look out the window and see trees or birds,just to block out the tedium of this sad construct they strive to give validity to.

There is so much more to life. As BlueRay said,the teacher could only see fault in the child,the answer she looked for would not have been sufficient to her, at best it would be a valid excuse to berate or demean. there shouldn’t be a need to validate an excuse, Life is life, the fact he turned up and hugged the teacher was proof he wanted to be there, she should have hugged him and led him into the others and made him feel welcomed.

I So feared school I would always be late in the hope I wouldn’t have to go. 

I didn’t learn as mum had to push me anyway or be punished by society for being a bad parent.

So off I go.slowly walking toward a guaranteed response of negative from a teacher.

As I got nearer and couldn’t hear the kids outside I knew the pain would be worse, should I go and face it or run away and hide. Often I would truant. 

Eventually I blanked it all out,became deaf to it, just stood there and waited for it to stop. I learnt to tell myself,no matter how loud or how horrible they were,tomorrow was another day, leave the pain behind, they didn’t own me, I was a free mind,not a free body as Society demanded I attend, 

I carried my belief with me through life. Any anxiety was treated with” well give me the worst!have you quite finished?ok now let’s move on”

it is how I cope now, 

I intended writing about my anxiety and how although I control it,make it less, it never leaves me, I think I am in control,but my heart pounds, I feel sick, I keep smiling, but deep inside everything is on high alert, fully ready to flee, I cope but it doesn’t mean I am not exhausted by it or that it doesn’t effect me inside, 

if I am late or about to sit a test for training, I just think how bad it can be,then think back to another occasion that was the same, Ibthen remember a day or a week after, all gone, I was still alive, still functioning, it really meant nothing, I dismissed it as something they must do, but they do not own me.

being a digger driver, nervousness at each new hire,new place,new customer,new challenges, I just took a breath,focused on my ability to if needed just walk away,I actually  said to one client, treat me as a human being or I go, He then said you can’t! You are on hire!,,,,,sorry mate I am a human being with freedom to choose. I am not your Slave or your property.

He looked stunned, he then apologised and spoke differently, he got his job done but talked to his men as if he owned them,

It must be terrible for you, giving your wisdom and care to children hungry for knowledge, being loved for your reality and honest being by the young uncorrupt minds. To then have to face adults with fixed thoughts and lost understanding of life and what it is all about. Just achievements,aspiration of a good normal lifestyle.

A child if allowed will give love and effection without being taught how to. However Society has determined it should be left behind to set unrealistic demands, fuelled by a need to fit, to fit a life governed by those that seek to profit.

They are all controlled,manipulated.led to believe whatever creates commercial success. Money,greed, 

well,,,,,,Adrenalin kicked in there, an agitated mind after today, it will not relax,,,, still adjusting, my mind obviousely thought it had coped,,,,,but now to deal with it.... think it through, I reason why it happened, ok,,,Well,it happened,,,,I understood why,,,,,I accept it will happen again.... tomorrow is another day,,,, leave it behind as best I can, now I need quality time,,,,nature,quite time, peace.,,,,,uh oh,no time work beckons,,,,,ah well at least I can come here and understand it and know I am not alone.

thank you Ellie, you  BlueRay and many others allow me to believe I am not crazy. I am right but in a mixed up self destroying society of blinkered beings.

off to find that cabin in the woods that we all strive for,   See you there fellow beings, race  you!

Ready steady ,,,,,GO!,,,,,   ,,,,,,,,,

First there puts the kettle on.......

x()x()x()x!

r-6.

v-83.

s-16.

16-01-2018.

00:50.

Hi my amazing friends,,,BlueRay I wanted to say how immense it is for me to read your comments and observations, 

It flows within me every word, it echoes my thoughts, could this be right? Yes it is so much my way of thinking that I challenge myself, a kind of,,,,,really,,,,moment, 

could anyone actually believe the most basic of human needs are that as humans we should care,understand for each other, work together giving love and understanding.

I feel this way,I try to convey it but it is met with “ well yes but that isn’t Reallity”. Or “ but that isn’t realistic”. My thoughts on living,being,working together,humanity are all thought of as out of date and to simplistic by the majority.

oh and a common one said is” well you will never get anywhere thinking like that”!

I would rather be free in mind and spirit and poor than rich and dead inside.

Children need nurture and love and to be given praise not constantly put down,reprimand,judge people, twist things to deceive,set unachievable goals,

Children are no longer allowed to be children, no real ability to fantasies,no imagination ,being taught you can have everything without any conditions, in fact you are entitled to everything without having to work hard or struggle, instant gratification on all things,cars,houses,holidays, use the card, pay later. Don’t stress everyone does it. Mob mindset,if we all do it then it’s ok, latest housing crash, everyone narrowed above their earnings,unrealistic, defaulted but got let off as it would destroy all things complete, damage limitation was set up,protect those that caused it by letting it become a given right to them.

Life really could be great if we all stopped to smell the roses once in a while, throw down the virtuality that allows instant gratification, the instant buzz, 

get back to nature and work together every so often, some countries promote children going out into areas of woodland or grass and actually splashing about in puddles,playing with mucky leaves, allowed to mix with reality of nature, and to work together as caring kids,

The human connection has been shunned, not sufficient time left. Mums so focused on their phones they walk straight out in front Of cars,pushing the most valuable thing we ever have and that is the care and love of a young being, a fragile delicate being with a whole exhistance ahead of it, treated as just another right or what must be done to fit the stereotypical ways.

I am reasssured to be able to share my thoughts with such wonderful and amazingly kind hearted beings as your selves,

I feel safe and warm being by your sides, yes both Ellie and BlueRay,true beings, eyes wide open individuals, hearts and minds of angels.

Thank you and to both of you, never stop being you.

Heart felt hugs to us all.

x()x()x()x

r-5.

v-82.

s-16.

16-01-2018.

00:05.

It’s crazy, it’s like nobody stops to smell the roses  

I know what you mean. And they say we can’t connect! 

You have a generation now and a group of vulnerable people who will be exploited by any one who shows either genuine or acted humanity .,, we all need to be part of the hiuman race.....

The human is being removed from human connection... is connection no longer needed, feared, learnt not to exist... there is a crisis looming and we all need to connect.

i was in a long meeting today, I felt tired and teary. I wanted to connect but couldn’t, the conversation was a learnt nt script...I suddenly craved that humanity....but it was not there