Seperation anxiety

Hi all....im having a real problem at the minute...my son is 10 and recently diagnosed aspergers. I have a xmas dinner tonite for work and he is refusing to "let me go" as in he doesnt want me to go. He is only content to stay home if me or his nanny is here. She is working tho so his dad and granda are here and his 2 brothers. He thinks he will get angry..anxious..sick if im not here..and no1 else knows how to help him.

  • Quick, enjoy yourself while you can, handbags at the ready, on the floor in the centre of the girl gang or is it dancing on the table tops ;) either way, have a lovely evening X

  • :D god luv him i dont think he knew what else to do lol. Iv made it out my hubby took him to cinema and so far all ok so fingers xd !! X

  • Who is this amazing hairdresser! 

  • Thank u... Hairdresser gave me a glass of wine lol 

  • That made me smile as well. God I love us :) 

  • It will get better and easier X

  • big love... and be kind to yourself x

  • Good luck...and hope you're still not "cryin in the salon like a twat." - xxx

  • I think ur rite its definatly not gonna help by giving in...thank you xx

  • Thank u for ur advice...im currently at the hairdressers but he was threatening to stab himself later on or fone 999 cuz hes dying etc...im gonna try the call thing maybe every hour to check in with him...hubby offered to take him to pics etc but he was havin none of it. Hes ok at the mo cuz hes with my mum but its later is the prob. His little brother is only 6 he gets really scared when he starts wrecking things. I feel its vital to my own mental heath to go tonight...im sittin cryin in the salon like a twat.

  • Hi NAS35627,

    That's a tough situation to be in, but I think it's best you left him for the evening with the other family members. If you keep obeying his every command, leaving will only become more distressing for him - he needs to get used to the fact that you can't always be around. Also, you need to let yourself live a little, otherwise you'll have your own life and desires taken away from you! It's not a nice situation, but in the long term, I think that leaving him for the evening is better. Besides, there are other family members there to look after him!x

    Much love <3

  • I don’t know how to answer this NAS35627 but I know you have to have some outlet yourself. I know my friend has to prepare her children for these kinds of situations. For example, she will remind them every hour or so about what’s going to happen and reassure them that everything is going to be ok. Maybe he can have a plan of what he can do while you’re out, for example, playing on a favourite game. I feel for your boy and I feel for you as well. Is there something he can do that would reduce his anger or anxiety if it starts to get too much. I guess these are strategies you are both going to have to learn, and sometimes they might not work. Maybe you could phone him while your out to let him know that you haven’t gone away forever, you’ll be back in two hours or whatever. It’s hard to know without knowing him but I think preparation is key. What could be the benefit for him in learning how to be away from you that is meaningful to him?If he can see a benefit to him that might help. Maybe it means he’s learning to be a big boy or something, like his brothers or that you will have some special time together the next day. It gets easier. Does he respond to charts or things like that. For example, he will get a star for being so brave?