The Autistic Christian

Let me say from the start that I have a strong faith and although I’m willing to discuss it, I have not started this thread to try and evangelise anyone. Simply I’d like to discuss with other autistic Christians how they cope with church, other Christians and trying to resolve their head around everything.

Parents
  • My experience of church has been weddings and funerals. 

    The seating is awful, uncomfortable long rigid benches, no personal space, trapped. 

    No clock, no timeline of events, no knowing when you will be back to your personal space. 

  • Hi, Our church has comfy seating and is always warm, well hot this last Sunday.  We all take our coats off as we sit down.  As for the clock, I can turn around and see it.  But the timeline thing, is you've got to get used to what is happening.  Each week we follow the same routine, but it isn't written down anywhere.  That would be a good thing for our church to do, to make it more autistic friendly.  We have individual seats, though these are joined at their feet.  We always unhook two of them for us at the end of a row, so I'm not enclosed.

    We have underfloor heating.  It keeps your coffee warm during the service (I don't think that's the reason though).  It keeps your feet warm, well all of your body.  I like to sit in the church for coffee afterwards and before (but they don't always like this), as it gives me space and getting away from the crush of people queuing for drinks.

    But I do like our service.  (Just not the long sermon), though extra long ones are gone now, as they do these on Monday evenings and call them lectures on a series of something.

    Happy Christmas to one and all, and sorry for my ramblings,

    Margaret

  • Magaret

    Its interesting that you say about coffee before and after as I am well renowned for making a mug of tea just before the service and drinking it at the sound desk. However, I have to be discrete as if like old could kill at times.

    The Church I am a member of has individual seats and underfloor heating too, although due to a leak the heating is rather temperamental at the moment despite only being 4 years old. There is a clock on the side wall, which is easily seen depending where one sits. I do think though that long sermons should be replaced by more ear friendly short bursts of good teaching. Paul’s letters, which are in effect sermons, could each read in ten minutes so why do modern pastors prattle on. Surely teaching and discussion would be far more useful then 45mins. What would you suggest to make your own church more friendly other than a stated timeline?

    Andrew


  • Correction! Rather than as I stated above:


    In Hebrew ~ the word 'Elohim' describes the infinite marriage train or procession of the Goddess of God, yet 'Elohim' is normally miss-transliterated as 'Lord' in the old testament.

    When in fact “Elohim” (‫אֱלֹהִים‬ with Hebrew being read from right to left) is normally transliterated into English as the word God, even though Elohim is itself a plural or group definition, as defines the Goddess as being the consort of God, and the divine assembly or council of gods, goddesses, angels and spirits that She embodies in and as the heavens and earth.

    .

    And from another perspective:


    If one allows the Bible to interpret itself, it clearly shows that Elohim is an institution consisting of more than one Person. The Old Testament shows that Elohim consists of two divine Beings. The New Testament adds that we are being drawn into that same institution to be one with Those who are already there.

    .

    It is true that Elohim is also used in many places to indicate a singular divine Being. This is because Elohim always acts as one. They are in perfect harmony, in perfect agreement.

    .

    John W. Ritenbaugh

    .

    https://www.bibletools.org/index.cfm/fuseaction/Topical.show/RTD/cgg/ID/430/Elohim.htm


    So in terms of “The Old Testament shows that Elohim consists of two divine Beings” at very least, Genesis 1:1 can be transliterated as:


    .

    In the beginning God and Goddess created the heavens and the earth.

    .


    And Genesis 1:27:


    .

    So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of the Goddess he created them; male and female he created them.

    .


    And the link to the BBC2 documentary called 'The Bible's Hidden Secrets', episode two, 'Did God Have A Wife' is no longer operable, but here is another link to a written article covering the matter:


    http://www.nbcnews.com/id/42154769/ns/technology_and_science-science/t/did-god-have-wife-scholar-says-he-did/



  • Very interesting Deepthought. I could sit and talk to you for hours about this.

    Well, there was a documentary series on BBC 2 some time back (2011 perhaps) called 'The Bible's Hidden Secrets', and episode two, 'Did God Have A Wife' ~ which covered the above topic brilliantly from the archaeological and the scriptural standpoints. So maybe if you have the tech and the credit ~ you could sit and watch for an hour about this; via the following link:


     https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x1ik5oi


  • Very interesting Deepthought. I could sit and talk to you for hours about this. 


  •   I challenged and asked impertinent questions, is there anything good about women in the bible other than Mary and why don't you tell us about that as half the class is female?! 

    With the Aspergian thing, i.e. ~ very early reader and pattern recognition strong ~ I got into comparative metaphysics when I was about 6 from the Egyptian stuff, philosophy from the Greek stuff, and then religion with the 1885 K.J.V. Bible when I was 8.

    Oh my whole life and amazed factor ten ~ I started reading the new testaments, then the old through to the new again, and I was done in five days.

    It was for me the reason I have no faith; because I got something so so much more. Now I did not nor could not do anything other than read the Bible day in and day out ~ until I had finished my first full reading of it.

    There were a few things that really did not fit the linguistic structures of Hebrew or Greek though, but the morning I finished reading the Bible was the morning a Vicar was doing the morning assembly talk, so I thought I would ask him about these seemingly blatant irregularities.

    Unfortunately ~ I was late getting to the school, which really annoyed me because by the time I got there, assembly would be over. None the less though I met the vicar as he was coming out from the main building, and I apologised for missing his assembly as I had just finished reading the Bible. He thought I meant the primary school 'new-testament' version, and asked if I liked the pictures, and I said, "Yes, but I meant the 1885 King James Version Bible." He was a bit taken aback, and then I asked if he would answer a question for me, to which he adjusted his suit-jacket proudly and answered, "Why of course . . . " so I asked, "What's all this business about God being a bloke then?" and he got really annoyed and walked off at a hurried pace.

    I was remarkably puzzled, and thought '(That's another problem added to the list then!)' involving all the other reams of questions other people found too difficult or challenging to answer. I asked other Vicars, Priests and followers, but the sexism thing was of course way too pervasive back then, so the question got moved onto the strictly to be solved by myself and not mentioned again list ~ mainly because I got confronted, warned and even threatened several times by furious husbands about discussing this issue with their wives.   

    Due though to intense bullying at secondary school, I got rather sidetracked from my spiritual and religious reading on account of numerous mental breakdowns, and did not get back to the research for another fifteen years. But I learnt how to interpret Hebrew and Greek, and solved the problem about God being a bloke, along with few others.

    In Hebrew ~ the word 'Elohim' describes the infinite marriage train or procession of the Goddess of God, yet 'Elohim' is normally miss-transliterated as 'Lord' in the old testament.

    Also the Greek texts use masculine, feminine and adrogyne tenses when describing God, and these have not been transliterated through into the English standardised versions of the Bible.

    Basically though ~ we have the God of life, and the Goddess of nature, as being the one and only unity of the in-visible and absolute Father, with the visible and infinite Mother.

    Thus in the image of God as being the Goddess we were made 'male-'and'-female' (spirit 'and' flesh) each of us ~ as a paraphrase of Genesis 1:27., and also a quote of Psalm 139:7., "Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? 

    In the book of Genesis also what God thinks is what the Goddess speaks, so, "Let there be light?" was a mutual request of each other, with God being Loving and the Goddess as his consort being wise, and thus all things together have come to be so. 


  • So soak it in and respond when ready. Went to my local church in wales church this sunday and heard a good sermon on identity as a Christian. So as an autistic person the local church does not do it for me any more so I will have to look elsewhere for positive relationships that will help me grow in relationship to my Father God that may mean something called the filling station. I also go to new wine with my wife and some of her family. She has a bipolar condition so has some different spiritual perspectives on life. If you have low esteem or lack of confidence then meditating on scripture helps refocus the autistic mindset. We are given the mind of Christ. In timothy I think the spirit gives direction on love power and a sound mind should one be considering suicide. Knowing who are and what your identity is I think is key to stopping bad thinking because being in Christ will by definition help prevent your thinking becoming too dark. Forgiveness helps as it help prevent roots of bitterness growing. I could go on but its time to end it here. Let the spirit guide you on your own path.  

  • Okay then so I am by nature relatively matter of fact. So my mistake for not allowing you innocent and honest curiosity that are due to you. would you permit me another chance and  I can help you look in the bible for women of faith that the spirit used despite a male ruled world. As a Christian simply forgive those who have given you a bad school experience. There is some interesting teaching about this from mike parsons should you find yourself interested. A good book on autism and being in the spirit is by Toby Peterson on Autistic prayers which engages the autistic identity from the Spiritual perspective. So work at moving on from your school experiences. you only get one chance to live this existence so decide to live in freedom. so nas35494 if you want to know more ask for a private chat as this is a public forum. There is so much more that I could help with. on the subject of sin mankind is culpable adam and eve both consumed the apple. Both traded their relationship with god for their own works. It is a basic satanic lie that you can earn salvation or earn being good. also the education system is biased towards self motivated people. So you are a beautiful person as you are and anything else you have picked up from your education is rubbish. I had a similar experience at school which also included five years as a boarder and it was not a pleasant one. After having gone through this assessment process at 51 I now begin to understand why I was constantly beaten up and tortured. I did not realise what was happening to me at the time but now my eyes are wide open. I have many specific horrific memories of bad experiences but the bad feelings I have learnt to trade in to Jesus. I have since studied the reformation and learnt why the churches are the way they are. so I look for where the spirit is moving in my area which may not be in the established churches. To help you then give me a location and then maybe we can find a church or on line support group that good for you. the real church is changing fast and adapting on line. The real church is identified as those people who believe in Jesus and meet in his name and not necessarily in a building every week. hope that helps your outlook on what being a Christian is really about rather than the warped image given to you in your schooling experience. Do be satisfied with what you have been given if you don't like it. Ask for me and seek for more. don't hesitate to keep replying to me. Lets keep dialogue going.

  • The chance to try would have been a bonus! hahahaa

  • Oddly enough, I got an A* in RE...

  • Did you want a reply to this stuff or were you venting anger and frustration.

    As stated those were my thoughts at school from 11 years old where I challenged the stereotyping.  There's no anger or frustration at all.

    The following is candid observations from my childhood, there is no offence meant to you with this, it was my thoughts at around 11 years old. When I was at school,

    As stated it was meant to be a candid account and not meant to cause anger or offence. 

    Please excuse for the long message in that I am very aspie and do like to open up my soul. If its not relevant to you then please ignore.

    My apologies, I didn't intend to cause offence. 

    There are lots of women in the bible and in the story of jesus you just have to know where to look.

    We were not taught about them at school and not encouraged to find them. I was encouraged not to take the subject in my options.  Our R.E teachings were that females were bad, I was brought up to see the good in people and so I challenged, questioned and was rewarded with detention for being disruptive. 

    I was just a little girl asking questions but I was told I was bad and was punished, so I found it hypocritical in the sense of supposedly being loved or accepted but I was shunned by the teacher and told to leave the subject.

    What is a child to think then?!  I was baffled but then came to conclusion that God and the church was for men only because of that teacher and how it was taught and that was just how it was, I just accepted that was how it was, no bitterness or anger, that's just how the church worked. 

    So I suppose the point of that is that schools have a major part to play and mine failed. 

    Then here I am giving a candid account of this and again I am being chastised for my innocence and honest curiosity.  

  •          HELLO 

    Did you want a reply to this stuff or were you venting anger and frustration. The churches are full of people who have God as their motivation rather than themselves. The world is run by evil people for evil people with occasional reference to God when the body of Christ is with it enough to care. Churches are not filled and never have been with perfect people because we have free will get things wrong. mostly people in the church have god motivation but we are all seeking god the same so the church will of course not get it all right. A lot of sunday attendance is simply the people gathering and meeting together with a common interest. The focus is singing prayer and a sermon that's an inherited culture that comes from a mixture of bible study and previous practices. The more charismatic elements focus on emotional expression and the catholic/Anglican/non conformists focus on liturgy and the one day a week get together. But many churches do offer mid week gatherings for sharing prayer and bible studies. Change is always a challenge to those people who are comfortable or set in their ways. It is impossible to quantify what the holy spirit is doing to change the whole church experience but from my experience and bible knowledge I would suggest that a lot of church experience is not relating to many people who need more than what is currently on offer. Yes the culture on the churches has always been male dominated. the Holy Spirit is changing that but it takes time. A whole generation died off in the wilderness in exodus through numbers because there was not the motivation to move into the things god wanted. We as human beings are no different from then. But I think that the difference between a person who follows Jesus from someone who does not is that of forgiveness and salvation. basically a relationship with god himself.

    Do you have hurts. Do you feel bitter. Do you and have you had bad experiences. Then the message of the jesus is still the same as it was for the People of god back then. follow god and put behind you your bad experiences because jesus has purchased them on the cross. Trade in all the stuff you see in yourself that you don't like and buy freedom. Buy peace buy self control buy a supernatural ability to overcome that cant be found in the world or in what you have experiences on you church going so far. You may not find your answers in the churches you are near at the moment but you may well find them with the help of the Holy spirit in the bible. From the point of view of the world its just a book but when read with the holy spirit it is the written expression of some of god. The rest you have to find for yourself when you relate to god for yourself. There never has been a substitute for knowing god for yourself because then you will have a revelation of who god is that's relevant for who you are. hope this helps. if you want more then request a private message. If you just wanted to vent bad stuff then that will only get you so far at some point you may want more. Please excuse for the long message in that I am very aspie and do like to open up my soul. If its not relevant to you then please ignore. There are lots of women in the bible and in the story of jesus you just have to know where to look. Also there can be no good expression of god without women because humanity is man and woman both sexes both different and both respecting each other with their own function and value. We are made in the image of god and made to have relationship with each other and god.

Reply
  •          HELLO 

    Did you want a reply to this stuff or were you venting anger and frustration. The churches are full of people who have God as their motivation rather than themselves. The world is run by evil people for evil people with occasional reference to God when the body of Christ is with it enough to care. Churches are not filled and never have been with perfect people because we have free will get things wrong. mostly people in the church have god motivation but we are all seeking god the same so the church will of course not get it all right. A lot of sunday attendance is simply the people gathering and meeting together with a common interest. The focus is singing prayer and a sermon that's an inherited culture that comes from a mixture of bible study and previous practices. The more charismatic elements focus on emotional expression and the catholic/Anglican/non conformists focus on liturgy and the one day a week get together. But many churches do offer mid week gatherings for sharing prayer and bible studies. Change is always a challenge to those people who are comfortable or set in their ways. It is impossible to quantify what the holy spirit is doing to change the whole church experience but from my experience and bible knowledge I would suggest that a lot of church experience is not relating to many people who need more than what is currently on offer. Yes the culture on the churches has always been male dominated. the Holy Spirit is changing that but it takes time. A whole generation died off in the wilderness in exodus through numbers because there was not the motivation to move into the things god wanted. We as human beings are no different from then. But I think that the difference between a person who follows Jesus from someone who does not is that of forgiveness and salvation. basically a relationship with god himself.

    Do you have hurts. Do you feel bitter. Do you and have you had bad experiences. Then the message of the jesus is still the same as it was for the People of god back then. follow god and put behind you your bad experiences because jesus has purchased them on the cross. Trade in all the stuff you see in yourself that you don't like and buy freedom. Buy peace buy self control buy a supernatural ability to overcome that cant be found in the world or in what you have experiences on you church going so far. You may not find your answers in the churches you are near at the moment but you may well find them with the help of the Holy spirit in the bible. From the point of view of the world its just a book but when read with the holy spirit it is the written expression of some of god. The rest you have to find for yourself when you relate to god for yourself. There never has been a substitute for knowing god for yourself because then you will have a revelation of who god is that's relevant for who you are. hope this helps. if you want more then request a private message. If you just wanted to vent bad stuff then that will only get you so far at some point you may want more. Please excuse for the long message in that I am very aspie and do like to open up my soul. If its not relevant to you then please ignore. There are lots of women in the bible and in the story of jesus you just have to know where to look. Also there can be no good expression of god without women because humanity is man and woman both sexes both different and both respecting each other with their own function and value. We are made in the image of god and made to have relationship with each other and god.

Children

  • Correction! Rather than as I stated above:


    In Hebrew ~ the word 'Elohim' describes the infinite marriage train or procession of the Goddess of God, yet 'Elohim' is normally miss-transliterated as 'Lord' in the old testament.

    When in fact “Elohim” (‫אֱלֹהִים‬ with Hebrew being read from right to left) is normally transliterated into English as the word God, even though Elohim is itself a plural or group definition, as defines the Goddess as being the consort of God, and the divine assembly or council of gods, goddesses, angels and spirits that She embodies in and as the heavens and earth.

    .

    And from another perspective:


    If one allows the Bible to interpret itself, it clearly shows that Elohim is an institution consisting of more than one Person. The Old Testament shows that Elohim consists of two divine Beings. The New Testament adds that we are being drawn into that same institution to be one with Those who are already there.

    .

    It is true that Elohim is also used in many places to indicate a singular divine Being. This is because Elohim always acts as one. They are in perfect harmony, in perfect agreement.

    .

    John W. Ritenbaugh

    .

    https://www.bibletools.org/index.cfm/fuseaction/Topical.show/RTD/cgg/ID/430/Elohim.htm


    So in terms of “The Old Testament shows that Elohim consists of two divine Beings” at very least, Genesis 1:1 can be transliterated as:


    .

    In the beginning God and Goddess created the heavens and the earth.

    .


    And Genesis 1:27:


    .

    So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of the Goddess he created them; male and female he created them.

    .


    And the link to the BBC2 documentary called 'The Bible's Hidden Secrets', episode two, 'Did God Have A Wife' is no longer operable, but here is another link to a written article covering the matter:


    http://www.nbcnews.com/id/42154769/ns/technology_and_science-science/t/did-god-have-wife-scholar-says-he-did/



  • Very interesting Deepthought. I could sit and talk to you for hours about this.

    Well, there was a documentary series on BBC 2 some time back (2011 perhaps) called 'The Bible's Hidden Secrets', and episode two, 'Did God Have A Wife' ~ which covered the above topic brilliantly from the archaeological and the scriptural standpoints. So maybe if you have the tech and the credit ~ you could sit and watch for an hour about this; via the following link:


     https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x1ik5oi


  • Very interesting Deepthought. I could sit and talk to you for hours about this. 


  •   I challenged and asked impertinent questions, is there anything good about women in the bible other than Mary and why don't you tell us about that as half the class is female?! 

    With the Aspergian thing, i.e. ~ very early reader and pattern recognition strong ~ I got into comparative metaphysics when I was about 6 from the Egyptian stuff, philosophy from the Greek stuff, and then religion with the 1885 K.J.V. Bible when I was 8.

    Oh my whole life and amazed factor ten ~ I started reading the new testaments, then the old through to the new again, and I was done in five days.

    It was for me the reason I have no faith; because I got something so so much more. Now I did not nor could not do anything other than read the Bible day in and day out ~ until I had finished my first full reading of it.

    There were a few things that really did not fit the linguistic structures of Hebrew or Greek though, but the morning I finished reading the Bible was the morning a Vicar was doing the morning assembly talk, so I thought I would ask him about these seemingly blatant irregularities.

    Unfortunately ~ I was late getting to the school, which really annoyed me because by the time I got there, assembly would be over. None the less though I met the vicar as he was coming out from the main building, and I apologised for missing his assembly as I had just finished reading the Bible. He thought I meant the primary school 'new-testament' version, and asked if I liked the pictures, and I said, "Yes, but I meant the 1885 King James Version Bible." He was a bit taken aback, and then I asked if he would answer a question for me, to which he adjusted his suit-jacket proudly and answered, "Why of course . . . " so I asked, "What's all this business about God being a bloke then?" and he got really annoyed and walked off at a hurried pace.

    I was remarkably puzzled, and thought '(That's another problem added to the list then!)' involving all the other reams of questions other people found too difficult or challenging to answer. I asked other Vicars, Priests and followers, but the sexism thing was of course way too pervasive back then, so the question got moved onto the strictly to be solved by myself and not mentioned again list ~ mainly because I got confronted, warned and even threatened several times by furious husbands about discussing this issue with their wives.   

    Due though to intense bullying at secondary school, I got rather sidetracked from my spiritual and religious reading on account of numerous mental breakdowns, and did not get back to the research for another fifteen years. But I learnt how to interpret Hebrew and Greek, and solved the problem about God being a bloke, along with few others.

    In Hebrew ~ the word 'Elohim' describes the infinite marriage train or procession of the Goddess of God, yet 'Elohim' is normally miss-transliterated as 'Lord' in the old testament.

    Also the Greek texts use masculine, feminine and adrogyne tenses when describing God, and these have not been transliterated through into the English standardised versions of the Bible.

    Basically though ~ we have the God of life, and the Goddess of nature, as being the one and only unity of the in-visible and absolute Father, with the visible and infinite Mother.

    Thus in the image of God as being the Goddess we were made 'male-'and'-female' (spirit 'and' flesh) each of us ~ as a paraphrase of Genesis 1:27., and also a quote of Psalm 139:7., "Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? 

    In the book of Genesis also what God thinks is what the Goddess speaks, so, "Let there be light?" was a mutual request of each other, with God being Loving and the Goddess as his consort being wise, and thus all things together have come to be so. 


  • So soak it in and respond when ready. Went to my local church in wales church this sunday and heard a good sermon on identity as a Christian. So as an autistic person the local church does not do it for me any more so I will have to look elsewhere for positive relationships that will help me grow in relationship to my Father God that may mean something called the filling station. I also go to new wine with my wife and some of her family. She has a bipolar condition so has some different spiritual perspectives on life. If you have low esteem or lack of confidence then meditating on scripture helps refocus the autistic mindset. We are given the mind of Christ. In timothy I think the spirit gives direction on love power and a sound mind should one be considering suicide. Knowing who are and what your identity is I think is key to stopping bad thinking because being in Christ will by definition help prevent your thinking becoming too dark. Forgiveness helps as it help prevent roots of bitterness growing. I could go on but its time to end it here. Let the spirit guide you on your own path.  

  • Okay then so I am by nature relatively matter of fact. So my mistake for not allowing you innocent and honest curiosity that are due to you. would you permit me another chance and  I can help you look in the bible for women of faith that the spirit used despite a male ruled world. As a Christian simply forgive those who have given you a bad school experience. There is some interesting teaching about this from mike parsons should you find yourself interested. A good book on autism and being in the spirit is by Toby Peterson on Autistic prayers which engages the autistic identity from the Spiritual perspective. So work at moving on from your school experiences. you only get one chance to live this existence so decide to live in freedom. so nas35494 if you want to know more ask for a private chat as this is a public forum. There is so much more that I could help with. on the subject of sin mankind is culpable adam and eve both consumed the apple. Both traded their relationship with god for their own works. It is a basic satanic lie that you can earn salvation or earn being good. also the education system is biased towards self motivated people. So you are a beautiful person as you are and anything else you have picked up from your education is rubbish. I had a similar experience at school which also included five years as a boarder and it was not a pleasant one. After having gone through this assessment process at 51 I now begin to understand why I was constantly beaten up and tortured. I did not realise what was happening to me at the time but now my eyes are wide open. I have many specific horrific memories of bad experiences but the bad feelings I have learnt to trade in to Jesus. I have since studied the reformation and learnt why the churches are the way they are. so I look for where the spirit is moving in my area which may not be in the established churches. To help you then give me a location and then maybe we can find a church or on line support group that good for you. the real church is changing fast and adapting on line. The real church is identified as those people who believe in Jesus and meet in his name and not necessarily in a building every week. hope that helps your outlook on what being a Christian is really about rather than the warped image given to you in your schooling experience. Do be satisfied with what you have been given if you don't like it. Ask for me and seek for more. don't hesitate to keep replying to me. Lets keep dialogue going.

  • Did you want a reply to this stuff or were you venting anger and frustration.

    As stated those were my thoughts at school from 11 years old where I challenged the stereotyping.  There's no anger or frustration at all.

    The following is candid observations from my childhood, there is no offence meant to you with this, it was my thoughts at around 11 years old. When I was at school,

    As stated it was meant to be a candid account and not meant to cause anger or offence. 

    Please excuse for the long message in that I am very aspie and do like to open up my soul. If its not relevant to you then please ignore.

    My apologies, I didn't intend to cause offence. 

    There are lots of women in the bible and in the story of jesus you just have to know where to look.

    We were not taught about them at school and not encouraged to find them. I was encouraged not to take the subject in my options.  Our R.E teachings were that females were bad, I was brought up to see the good in people and so I challenged, questioned and was rewarded with detention for being disruptive. 

    I was just a little girl asking questions but I was told I was bad and was punished, so I found it hypocritical in the sense of supposedly being loved or accepted but I was shunned by the teacher and told to leave the subject.

    What is a child to think then?!  I was baffled but then came to conclusion that God and the church was for men only because of that teacher and how it was taught and that was just how it was, I just accepted that was how it was, no bitterness or anger, that's just how the church worked. 

    So I suppose the point of that is that schools have a major part to play and mine failed. 

    Then here I am giving a candid account of this and again I am being chastised for my innocence and honest curiosity.