Stranger in a strange land

Title of a famous book.  And how I feel about life in general.

I apologise for ranting. People who are not interested can Jack o lantern

I try to mix and coexist but it's still a struggle.  Most people talk in code which to me is a foreign language which I need a dictionary to translate into meaning.

I'm still have four part time advisors helping me find work.  But they are starting to give up.  I get the interviews but I find the whole process strange and weird.  The feedback I and my advisors get is that I'm the one who is strange and weird, saying inappropriate things and that I'm quirky.

In the past I was much worse. I'm ignorant of good/bad manners because I unaware of how most NTs behave.  When visitors came to our house i stayed in my room, not interacting.  I only discovered on this website a few weeks ago that this is considered rude?

I was in my twenties before I discovered that it's the host's responsibility to offer drinks to visitors?

How to make small talk.  A B1006y mystery!

Eye contact ???  Only had eye contact with cats in my youth.  Then we moved onto nose touching.

Parties dates ??????   Why, what for?

Rant over for time.  Back to bed with flu. 

  • maintaining honour and dignity is one of the few last strengths that I have, against a society which increasingly loves to $!&$#@ and also @$!&$!#, and especially @$#&!$&#@$&!!&$@& ...an awful lot.

    End of Post.

    Read and ageeed x

  • I attempt to Post with some "Experiences", if I may. This first is about what I myself have/know/find concerning "Manners", especially "courtesy", which upon another certain Thread ( community.autism.org.uk/.../offending-people. ) appeared to provoke a number of... well, 'Punctuation Marks'..?... yet please read on, for it is different as I find.

    In my own youth, I found in an excessive manner, that I was targeted for accusations of "being RUDE". At school (even infant school), I was told off for "smiling" and also/or "not smiling". Phrases stuck in my head are:
    Angry, many times: "Don't you smile at me like that, young lady!!".
    And 'nicely', at least once: "I am not letting you out of this room until you smile!!"
    ... these are events which, I cannot say in a nicer way, effectively SCARRED my childhood (!).**

    In after schooling: ...I became absolutely fed up with the amount of times - even simply by passing-by - I was seen as rude, liar, thief, stupid, etc... I would talk to, or pass by, complete strangers. Yet they would say something inapplicable, as if they had known me for many years:
    "Oh, I know that man! Yeah!"
    "Just because you haven't stolen anything today, doesn't mean that you won't later on!"
    "All witches shall burn in the name of Jesus!!"

    ...in short, when someone wants to disparage me, it matters not what the given reason is, for they apply their own reasons.

    Finally, how this relates to "manners" is somewhat this, which I do. I had it blasted into me, to always express "common courtesy", yet I DO know full well that it is not-at-all "common" anymore. I always say "Please", "Excuse Me", and "Thank You", and then step away before they can rearrange/construct an appropriate/insulting counter. (!)
    I dress smartly, despite my being unwell quite often, and I always try to be courteous... and for myself, maintaining honour and dignity is one of the few last strengths that I have, against a society which increasingly loves to $!&$#@ and also @$!&$!#, and especially @$#&!$&#@$&!!&$@& ...an awful lot.

    End of Post. (...Thank You to everyone who might have read all of that.)


    *** In the (unlikely) event of any "Teachers" reading, please do not do this at any child, NT or ND, okay?

  • You have many skills Robert....they just don't appear on the list you've been provided with!! lol

    x

  • Good Evening, Thanks for replying. Yet...

    I have never seen a "Blog" before, and perhaps this is a lot like one. No consistent topic, yet that is alright. You most appreciate sharing "Experiences" it may seem. And I *really* am learning about the "Internet" (!)... I would never find it relaxing, yet I have read here that others also find it to be so (at times). I only entered into The "Internet" due to Social Compunction, and am finding that it does little to negate my own nervousness, yet I try to continue anyway...

    "Changing the topic to sleeping."... and yet is finished concerning "Work Advisors" <>, again. やれやれ... and I see a PICTURE. This Picture will likely disappear for me in about a month, which I discuss not here but in the 'Autistic Persons (NAS) Internet Thread', currently. Whilst I can still see the picture, I would myself be able to fill in/Tick-Box absolutely nothing upon it, for I have "skill" yet none of those (!)...

    The Topic of "Sleep" is one which has also been revived a lot within the past month. I would reply to this upon your own "Dreams" Thread, although of course "Sleep" & "Dreams" are separate things...

    Sleeping with an Illness: I also hate it when, during the last parts of Colds/Influenza, when the NOSE completely blocks up, as if one's own nose knows better how to manage the rest of a body, via suffocation, regardless of the time of day... um, I should stop writing about this, maybe...

    Long Telephone Calls and a Neighbour: I recall another of your own Threads:
    community.autism.org.uk/.../neighbours-experiences-and-general-chat
    ... and so whom you mention would be "Mrs M", perhaps?...

    In closing. Perhaps so much linking to other Threads is not what (this NAS Forum's) Threads are so much about. Everyone recalls some, yet of course cannot recall or find *all*. Everyone begins a unique Thread in a Unique way, and that is what counts. Everyone uses this Internet differently... including myself in finding out how it is just as confusing as real life... (and that I can't "Chat".)

    Thank you again for not <Jack-O-Lantern>ing, me, I think. You are better at Internetting than I am, that is for certain. (I still would like to Post about the opening Topics as well, sometime, if I may.)

  • Changing topic to sleeping.  

    Awoke at 4am.  

    Now 4:30am.  Still cannot sleep and having difficulty breathing 

    I enjoy reading this website because many experiences I hear about are so familiar.

    I also hate long telephone calls.  But I had a neighbour who made 2hour calls routinely full of repetitive gossip.  I ended up changing my number.

    Off to watch violent DVDs, Buffy the vampire slayer.  Best time is middle of the night.

    Last week my recruitment agency had me and others applying to another recruitment agency . This involved filling out many forms including this one about my skills and experience.  Which are severely lacking.

  • Greetings. And yet...

    Robert123 - "People who are not interested can "
    ...<Jack-O-Lantern>

    ...Believe it or not, I did another of the odd things which I (try to) do, in spending about an hour, typing in a long reply, at a matter of interest to myself upon the Internet, yet then my thinking better of actually Posting what I wrote. I was honestly going to post quite a bit, yet I am confounded as to what exactly:

    <Jack-O-Lantern>

    ...means.

    Regardless of whatever else happens, I certainly agree with LoneWarrior. And, there have been quite a few other Threads, both new and revived in this past week, concerning "Social Interaction", yet I responded to none, for I know little about the practice myself (of "Social Interaction").
    Yet persons enforcing "Small Talk", "Eye Contact", "Manners", and "Work Advisors"... I *did* want to write about... yet I was uncertain as to telling such persons to, well, <Jack-O-Lantern>...To myself it is either confusing or nutritious...(!)

  • Hi Robert just a quick reply but you do fit in,,,,,,HERE.

    I find your posts easy to understand and I have similar thoughts regarding the futile nature of small talk etc.