Do you ever offend other people unintentionally, like me?
I try to live a quiet life, not bothering other people. But other people expect me to behave in a particular way and get very upset at things that don't really concern them.
A recent example is how I upset me sister, by not inviting her to my graduation ceremony.
Beforehand nothing was mentioned or discussed. I never had any intention of going to the ceremony. The idea of getting dressed up and being seen on stage by hundreds of people terrified me. Since the ceremony was optional I turned down the invitation and the two guest tickets.
A week later I got a very distressed phone call from my sister, trying to invite herself to my ceremony. She had assumed from the beginning that she would be invited.
End result was that she was so upset. I got uninvited to her family Christmas.
Greetings. As I said upon a different Thread, I, personally, seem to "offend" some people simply by EXISTING. I attempt here, an example of some significance in my life, which I have always wanted to say to other people, just to find out reaction to the event. It sort of also relates to "graduation", certainly to schooling, and certainly to "offending people".
In secondary school, I was as if not allowed to complete one of my "A-Levels". At the end of the school year, I was one day invited into the head-mistress' office, where she fumbled successfully through reasons to expell me from the school. I asked her for any reasons why, and they were as follows:1 - 'You fell behind in your work!'My answer - 'I recently contracted pneumonia, as you know, and I have since made up for the work which I missed.'2 - 'You are rude, and you STARE at the teachers, including at me right now!'My answer - (I immediately break "eye contact", to begin upon the technique I know for "not staring") 'I look at you, Miss, as you look at me. Isn't it seen as rude to never look at people when you are talking to them?'3 - (After a minute or so) '...You are flaring your nostrils at me!!'My answer - (...I am, and to this very day, *still* utterly astonished at this given reason. Thus, I can only sit there, absolutely flummoxed, confused, and dumbfounded...) ....!
End. If anyone finds this post to be silly or unbelievable... then that means that you have indeed fully understood it. All of it is true. And it is NOT FAIR. Yet it took me thirty years, perhaps, to understand the *real* (unsaid) reasons for my being "let go"... But I wait to see if anyone here also cares or understands..? That is all for now.
This Post is written for the sake of common courtesy, to extend a great "Thank You" to those who replied (DeepThought and Blue Ray)... My initial thought, upon seeing replies (*from real people!?!*) was:"VINDICATION!!!"... and I can see how this "Internet" business has its appeal. But I still cannot do "live chat", or E-Mail, or even "Private-Message", and this whole business still makes me as hesitant and nervous as when speaking face-to-face...Yet I post this as a genuine Thank You; and in closing, I add that I eventually figured that the REAL reason for my pseudo-expulsion from school... was due to reasons nothing-more-or-less than the fact that I had just turned Sixteen, and so they were no longer Legally Obliged to "put up with me" anymore...(!). End of Post.
I'm surprised by your post.
It seems like a contradiction.
Common courtesy !?!?!?
You right a thank you post as common courtesy, yet you were expelled from school?? For your behaviour.
I and many autistics have been accused of lacking Common courtesy.
Um... Good Evening, Mister Robert123... As you say that you are surprised at my post, I apologise for me in turn being confused at yours... Yet as the starter, I had looked forward to comment from yourself, considering my main Post (about pseudo-expulsion), and so I did not expect a reply *after* I had attempted to then close that digression...I am confused because I *have* written upon a few other Threads that I 'give a Thank You out of courtesy', and have never gained quite such a response to it...?
Concerning my School-Post, and my own "behaviour" at school, I rather thought that I had correctly conveyed the idea that the HeadMistress could not find any "real" reason to discontinue my education, because I was never ever "badly behaved" (she and others had never mentioned that I was) (also I was bullied and extremely "shy" at school). However, I WAS "weird" (No Aspergers in the 1980's)... and since they could not explain that, they had then had enough of me. If I misunderstand what you mean, then that is what I mean by apologising at my being confused at your reply.
I apologiise if I have confused or offended you. No offence or confusion was intended.
I think you are courteous on this site and I don't understand why a school would try to expel you.
Any other misunderstanding should be blamed on the automatic spell checker and spell corrector on this blasted smartphone.
(At great risk to my own nervousness, I reply, NOW, which may again begin "live chat"? Yet only to yourself, and then to "ElephantInTheRoom" ALONE, have I ever attempted this... and so, you may recall, that at anytime I might become NERVOUS, start to make grammatical errors, and then say that I must "Sign Off"...? Sorry in advance, for I have no idea what is about to occur!)
*ahem* ...Okay! Thank You for replying yourself there, Mister Robert123. I was *not* offended, yet I *was* confused. If I can, this can carry on (and on and on) much later, concerning *unintentionally offending people*...
...For instance, I also wanted to add: Consider the real reason which I stated (aged 16, no more "weirdness"). (note: "DC" = myself.)
In the HeadMistress' OWN report, SHE would likely have written something like: "The reasons for discontinuing DC's education were discussed by myself and by DC, and DC agreed with me."... which is to say, that despite my own arguments, she would have acted like a "BULLY" --- and no matter what I said or did, she would find NO END of excuses to "expel" me. (!)
I may be polite and logical... yet in LIFE, it is *not* always reciprocated. This links back to "offending people", and no matter what is done, then someone who is "offended" as if by one's own existence, will find *absolutely any* excuse....Darn - this is a long Post! (sorry... *wimper*)...!
You’re a great conversationalist DC. We can all shut off at any time, so we understand. You’re doing great.