Published on 12, July, 2020
Do you ever offend other people unintentionally, like me?
I try to live a quiet life, not bothering other people. But other people expect me to behave in a particular way and get very upset at things that don't really concern them.
A recent example is how I upset me sister, by not inviting her to my graduation ceremony.
Beforehand nothing was mentioned or discussed. I never had any intention of going to the ceremony. The idea of getting dressed up and being seen on stage by hundreds of people terrified me. Since the ceremony was optional I turned down the invitation and the two guest tickets.
A week later I got a very distressed phone call from my sister, trying to invite herself to my ceremony. She had assumed from the beginning that she would be invited.
End result was that she was so upset. I got uninvited to her family Christmas.
Someone else burning the midnight oil here! I slept for several hours after arriving home from work knackered, so naturally I'm not tired now!
I offend people without even trying. At work last year I nearly ended up on a disciplinary because of a single comment I made while talking to someone on the phone one day. I still don't know what it is that I said that was so offensive. I try my best, but that just increases my anxiety so I tend to avoid interactions with people who don't understand when I'm not at work. If that means spending the entire weekend on my own, then so be it.
I know what you mean about your sister saying she has never been to a graduation ceremony. My brother has been married twice and didn't invite me to either of his weddings. But if her relationship with you is that important she'll get over it. Sorry to be blunt, but she's punishing you for her own issues, and that's her problem, not yours. If she realises how unreasonable she is being and comes back to you then good. If not then do you really need that negativity in your life?
We over analyse everything but still slip up.....frequently.....I often think...why did I open my mouth! Lol
i have a mother, sister and brother who I have been estranged with from for the past three years....it hurts a great deal..but I cannot find the strength to try and find out why or attempt to resolve the situation...it unearths too much past trauma.
it seems a childish response to cut you from the Christmas celebrations....tit for tat....
i attended my masters graduation in the summer....my OH invited my dad and his wife...it became their event....they enjoyed it on their terms.....I hated every minute as I wanted to privately acknowledge this achievement. It may have been my fourth time graduating....but this was my last and I wanted it to be a reflective experience.....and not what it was...I knew what I had achieved....my guests did not know the work I had produced and how much of myself I had put into it.
christmas I am also dreading, again because it is their event....I will want to seek out quiet places and only join in when I feel comfortable and not threatened by their need for me to perform .
thinking of you x
You're lucky you have paid employment.
I'm averaging one interview a week. And lots a debts. Lots of advice. But things just don't get better.
I also think my unconventional body language and phobias and fears offends people.