Offending people

Do you ever offend other people unintentionally, like me?

I try to live a quiet life, not bothering other people.  But other people expect me to behave in a particular way and get very upset at things that don't really concern them.  

A recent example is how I upset me sister, by not inviting her to my graduation ceremony.

Beforehand nothing was mentioned or discussed.  I never had any intention of going to the ceremony.  The idea of getting dressed up and being seen on stage by hundreds of people terrified me.  Since the ceremony was optional I turned down the invitation and the two guest tickets.

A week later I got a very distressed phone call from my sister, trying to invite herself to my ceremony.   She had assumed from the beginning that she would be invited.  

End result was that she was so upset.  I got uninvited to her family Christmas.

Parents
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  • What I find most baffling about those particular types of instances when people become offended, is their apparent lack of concern for the person involved of which it concerns.  So for example, this is your graduation ceremony and as such it is up to you who you invite or even if you attend.  I too didn't go to my graduation ceremony and thankfully wasn't challenged by my family about it.

    If someone I knew was having a wedding/ graduation or whatever, I would respect them enough to respect their wishes, whatever they may be and be thankful at least that they at least thought about me and made me aware of their plans, whether I was invited or not.

    I have heard people who I work with constructing all sorts of emotional dramas over said occasions where they haven't been invited or involved at the level they perceived they should be.  All of it seems a load of nonsense to me that is just a waste of time and energy.

Children
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