Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi There
I am a 55-year-old male and have felt ‘different’ for all of my life.
It’s very hard to type this so I hope you will bear with me as it’s a bit like bearing my soul (if I believed I had one).
I always put my feelings down to being ‘higher than average’ intelligence and finding most people I met were a bit thick and I didn’t really have time or feel like interacting with them as what they had to say didn’t really interest me.
I do have some good friends that I have made over the years but rarely see them as we all live in different parts of the country.
I find it hard to make new friends or even speak to other people and I prefer my own company most of the time.
When walking my dog, I will actively change direction if I see someone coming towards me as I try to avoid interaction with people as much as possible.
I hate social events and will do whatever I can to get out of going anywhere. I don’t drink alcohol and being surrounded by load of loud drunk people is my idea of hell. I’d rather be at home with my dog and a good book/movie.
Socialising leaves me feeling drained. I’ve always been very unemotional and I don’t think anyone has ever seen me lose my temper, but that may also be helped by my interest in martial arts, that I have studied for over 40 years.
I’m lucky that I can work from home as I have a job as a software developer and if I have to interact with anyone over the internet or phone I can put on ‘the act’.
As I said earlier, I have always felt different and recently decided to do some online personality tests to see if anything would be shown by the results.
After reading up on Aspergers on the internet for a few hours and realising that I matched a lot of the symptoms I did a couple of different Aspergers tests and scored highly on them and an Empathy test and scored low on that.
If you have read this far I thank you! My real question is, is there any point in going to my GP for a referral as I’ve read it can take a long time to get an appointment with the NHS. I’ve managed to survive this long and I don’t know what difference an actual diagnosis would make. I’m planning on moving away from the West Midlands (too many people) in the next 6 months so would it be better to continue this wherever I end up or just carry on as normal – if that’s the correct word to use.
Any replies are appreciated
Greetings in return! You sound very much like me. In fact, I could have written most of that. I'm 60 and was finally diagnosed a few years back, in my 50s.
I didn't seek a diagnosis in order to get access to support, because I knew there isn't much out there for people our age. I sought it for validation. Since I got it, I've felt vindicated. I now have something that I can hold up and say 'See... there's nothing wrong with me. I'm just different!' You can say that without the diagnosis, of course, and plenty of people remain self-diagnosed. For me, though, it was important to get that 17-page diagnostic report. I can now ask for reasonable adjustments in the workplace without being dismissed as 'fussy' or 'disruptive'. Getting that report enabled me to finally make sense of my entire life and put all the pieces together. My mental health has improved tremendously as a consequence.
You'll find many threads on here where a similar question is asked - particularly by people of our age. I'd say go for it, every time. But it's entirely up to you, and whether you're prepared to wait. Just over two years for me, from initial referral. I think it varies by region, though
Thanks for the info.I read it could take some time from referral to diagnosis.
I will leave it until I move and see what it's like then.I'm moving from Birmingham back to Cumbria as the scenery is so fantastic up there and it improves my mood being out in the great outdoors.I'm lucky that I can do my job from anywhereWe only moved from Cumbria to Birmingham for my wife's job but after being here for 2 months she moved out leaving me trapped in this place.The sooner I get out the better but I can move until April next year.
Just keeping my head down until then ;-)
Missed the other screen shot of the 2nd test - very unlike me.I am usually a bit OCD but I spell it CDO so the letters are in the correct order ;-)