Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello ,
I am the mother of an 18 year old daughter.
She does not like to shower or wash or bath .When she is having her period , she leaves her soiled pads on her bedroom floor.
She suffers from excessive saliva in her mouth and will just spit it onto the floor even though she has a bowl provided.
She is on medication for anxiety , but this behaviour only started 18mths ago and she is of the opinion that she is 18 and can do what she likes.
She will not listen to any advice or suggestions on how to help her manage can anyone suggest anything that I can try ?
She will be very welcome and with like minded people.
so happy things are moving on.every little step forward is a step forward.
I have learnt much from your query and the replies.
Hello again,
Thankyou for your replies and giving me some understanding of what may be causing the situation .
My daughter finds it very difficult to talk about personal things , so I used a social story to try to find out if anything about the water or washing
made her feel unhappy .
I am pleased to say that she has repeated almost exactly the same feeling described in your replies ,and so we are now working on a way to help overcome some of them .
I have also told her about this website and I am hoping she will start to use it to help herself.
Thankyou all.
I am afraid I cannot give any advice specifically but the answers so far seem very good.oktanol may I say you have just made me aware that all the things you listed pretty much apply to me.The list of commonality continues,never gave it much thought before! Thank you.
I hope the OP manages to find a way to guide her daughter as she will need to adapt for her own well being if this continues.
Do you know what she doesn't like about showering/washing/bathing? It may be things you wouldn't think of... Some things I couldn't and still can't stand: cold bathroom (very common in UK), cold floor (even more common), a cold shower floor or bathtub (when using it for showering, a wet mat I have to step onto (ughh), cold water (it usually starts cold, so need to find a way of letting the cold water out without touching me), water sprinkling onto my face (slightly more acceptable now but a real issue when I was younger, especially when washing hair - still can't stand fixed showers), bubble bath (because there is this disgustingly cold foam on top of the water), water that's too cold or to hot, smelly face clothes (mum never understood how I can smell anything), shower gel/soap that doesn't feel or smell right, towels that aren't really dry (very common in UK as a result of the first point), the possibility of a wet shower curtain touching me, humid bathroom with water condensing on surfaces, wet hair and having to use a hair dryer... There may be lots of other things she's finding unpleasant about it, maybe you can find out about them and try to minimise them and allow her to choose what she prefers.
Perhaps the 18 thing will pass - if she explains it like that then I guess she does understand that this isn't really the case, at least as long as she is living with other people. Maybe it's a part of growing up and is followed by admitting that some of the things our parents want us to do or not to do are actually making sense.
Hello. I'm a 20 y/o autistic and I personally hate bleeding out from my insides every month so I understand how your daughter is feeling but technically she has a point about the whole "being an adult" thing.
have you tried explaining to her that the bleeding stops when she's in the shower/bath? maybe that could entice her to take one, somehow.
Also, I don't have a clue about the spitting thing so I'm sorry I can't help you with that.