Recently diagnosed and feeling lonely

I'm 21 and I was recently diagnosed (2 weeks ago). I've been going through the diagnosis process for about 2 years but when the psychologist told me I was on the spectrum, I burst out crying. I had expected it but it just made it real. I can't really explain how I felt. My mum was with me when the psychologist was going through the report of my results from the tests and explaining about Autism etc. 

I was the one who suggested getting assessed as I always felt like there was something different about me. My family always thought I was just shy and that I would grow out of it but I got to a point where I just knew that it was more than shyness, I couldn't change how I am. 

During the few weeks of my tests, my family were constantly saying that they didn't think I had Autism. I would tell them reasons as to why I thought I was Autistic and they would say stuff like "Don't be stupid" or "When I was your age I was quiet too!". They were probably trying to make me feel better but it was really invalidating.

Even after my diagnosis, I feel like they are still the same. Nobody has asked me questions about my Autism and how it makes me feel or how they can help accommodate me and make things more comfortable. I just feel like they are in denial about it. I'm very quiet and reserved so I think a lot of my symptoms are hidden and for the most part I understand what is socially acceptable. This probably makes it hard for them to believe I have Autism? 

I'm trying to figure myself out still and a lot of things are making sense. The fact I hate sharing my things, or people touching my stuff and I really dislike water in my face. I've tried discussing this stuff with my parents but they brush it off and I feel like they think I am putting it on and being over dramatic. I am just discovering why I experience these things and everything is clicking and it makes me feel better thst there is actually a reason but I don't feel like I can discuss this with anyone.

I just feel very alone and that my family aren't even trying to understand my diagnosis and in fact are acting in a way that really isn't "autism friendly" :-(

Has anyone else had issues with this? 

Sorry for the rambly post! 

  • Welcome. You exactly described my families response to my diagnoses. I am very alone sometimes that's a blessing. But I also get very lonely too which is a different thing altogether. I haven't yet worked out how to deal with the family thing as you describe. I have come to the conclusion that we can ask for accommodation at work/school/college but not so easy in the family unless you are lucky. It is quite fascinating in some ways to find out things about ourselves which seem totally unrelated but actually fit together. I hope as you are able to use your new knowledge to help you find ways to make a difference. At 21 I too had long since felt I didn't fit in and it doesn't feel good does it.. Some areas of the country have more support than others and for different age groups. It would be worth you checking up on the nas website to see if there is anything in your area.. 

  • hey I am three years older than you and was very recently diagnosed also! my parents had always suspected asperges but never aced upon that because like you I was shy and reserved and they didn't think I was suffering however I was. the best thing you can do is be patient read up on it get some outside support but more than anything accept yourself for who you are and don't see it as a negative.