I'm new to this forum and website, I have no idea where I should be looking for any support, help or guidance so I'm attempting this forum with the hope I won't be disappointed.
I am 16 and live in England, I was diagnosed with aspergers from about 11 through cahms but because I found the diagnosis process rather traumatic I was not offered any support and had to endure several distressing events that have continued to halt any possible progress I should have made as I grew up. I have continued experience and be apart of continuous traumatic and distressing situations that are obviously increased more so then should be because of my autism.
I have received very little support and I find that my needs and problems are mostly ignored because of this diagnosis, I'm not taken seriously and made feel belittled and small. I doesn't help when I also have a diagnosis of social anxiety and it just decreases my confidence even further. infact I'm pretty sure I no long have any.
I am currently back in cahms for a possible depression diagnosis and it is likely that I will be medicated for severe low mood and anxiety. I am not thrilled and have again experianced little concern for my overall wellbeing. I struggle to talk to them as I don't trust them and find them judgemental to the point they belittle me so I refuse to talk and my case is ignored. Its very distressing and I am at a complete lose on what to do, I have consulted multiple doctors and counsellors and find none of them are really wiling to help.
I self harm, starve myself and rarely sleep and quiet frankly I look like a zombie and I know I'm not helping myself but its something I can't stop and nobodies willing to help me, I've resorted to smoking mostly now because its able to stabilize me somewhat for a short period of time. I also do not wished to b advised to talk to my parents as I have my own issues with them and its out of the question. but It takes slot of energy for me to go out and socialise mostly because I lack so much energy and find it difficult to handle people, especially on days where self asteem problems are through the roof. I know I need urgent support and that I'm not just being padantic because 'm autistc lok everyone keeps telling me but I have no idea where t turn, cahms are utterly useless and couldn't care less for me despite the constant pleas my doctor has made because I've revealed i'm suicidal. which by the way took major balls to finally admit after all these years. So where's best? I understand my options are limited because I'm under 18 but I'm Cleary desperate because i'm pleaing to stranger on a forum with a computer that's not allowin me type properly.
Besides the type of support I need I also need advice on work. Since I've turned 16 I've been under alot of pressure to find a job, in fact i'm now desperate. But nobody will consider me because of my social awkwardness and the training I will need. I've been to several job interviews but nil. I knew it was hard but this is now really beginning to worry me as the only advice I get is to just keep trying but I'm finding this so overwhelming on top of all my other problems I have to deal with daily. Theres just no support and I have no idea where to turn. ve sent out probably over 200 applications over the past year and I hardly hear anything back no matter how much I peruse it. up until now I've been calming disability allowance I am now in the process of calming pip if I'm lucky because I just can't find work. I've now exhausted all possible leads in my area so i'm at a lose.
However, in the past month I have come across two jobs. First was a hairdressers, I did my trial days and they hired me. I was told they would contact me with my hours but they never did so I contacted them. Well I tried to, they mostly ignored my calls. This was very disappointing for me as I was so happy to have finally found something and they never even told me what I did wrong. Then a couple weeks ago I managed to land myself a job at a small family owned store, I was honestly over the moon. It was the first good news I'd heard in weeks and I was just happy to finally find something to keep me occupied to help my depression. I approached it best I could and I finally felt independent and that I could begin to get my life somewhat on track. I was happy, polite and I fully engaged to try and learnn all the different aspects. I was given two shifts. one was an hour ad the other two hours just so I couple taught what to do. I was given my uniform and set for a full shift this Saturday I didn't have reason to be worried. Then yesterday I got a email telling me I was dismissed. I'm distraught. They said i'm lovlye bu that I have no confidence.
Im just embarrassed. I haven't replied. I tried my hardest and it wasn't good enough .
First welcome to a safe place,welcome to you and glad you have the trust to tell us your issues, It's a really big step to join a forum full of potential rejection and lack of understanding, that will not be the case on here,a lot of us have been where you are now.
I don't have answers for you but would like to focus on you as an individual!
I think,,,,,no I know you are an amazing person surviving in a world that you struggle to fit into,you are aware of all the things that are holding you back which in itself is a big plus. Being aware of a situation has allowed you to research ways of trying to remedie the areas that are not working(being here) and (finding solutions) a big well done, by the way I don't patronise anyone or say things light heartedly so if I say you are doing well it isn't to make you feel better it is because it is a fact. You found two jobs both you gave it your all but both couldn't appreciate what you could bring to the job, loyalty,determination to succeed and the desire to do well and learn as you go.
there loss.I remember going through the whole job seeking experience,lots of rejection and I wasn't considered as having anything that could be a learning difficulty so even"normal" people go through the same.many times I cried when being rejected from a job that needed no skills or qualifications. I had so much to offer but not fitting into the social interaction side of things was a big hurdle.
You are someone who has so much to offer but so far haven't been given the opportunity to show it.
I know some younger members on here that hit a wall who have volunteered to work at charity shops? It would give you a reason to get up and keep going,it would help you learn new ways of interacting with customers,a learning experience in retail work.
I wish you well and please let us know what's going on as a lot of us care as we really do understand your issues having been through it.
How are you doing? I think Lonewarrior is right. It's a tough world and you are doing your best.
if you use this link from this website you might find something locally to support you
Also if you don't like the idea of volunteering in charity shops then there are lots of other ways to volunteer there are several volunteer websites again to see if there is something local for you depending on what you are interested in
this is a link to help you find your local volunteer centre