Newbie: Child with several Autistic Traits but not Autism???

Hi, I'm new here. I have a 10 year old boy who has struggled with social interactions and school for years, alongside out of control angry meltdowns. His school are convinced he is on the Autism Spectrum due to his unwillingness to communicate and his struggles to form friendships with his peers etc. He also suffers from social anxiety and doesn't like to go to school, refuses to try out of school clubs etc. We are currently in the process of trying to get a diagnosis. We attended our local CAMHs, and received a letter from the Dr there saying that in her opinion his difficulties were due to ASD, and she referred him for further assessment, BUT, we've been warned of a 18 month to 2 year waiting list! As he's due to transfer to secondary school next year, we felt a bit desperate, and have used our savings to pay for a private assessment. The result of that is the Dr saying that he has several autistic traits, which are the reason for his struggles at school (his anxiety leads to him shutting down and then these traits come to the foreground), BUT, because he was able to communicate and make eye contact with him, and because he showed an ability to use his imagination in their play session, he says he doesn't think he is fully autistic (he does change in the summer holidays when he's more relaxed and not stressing about school). This is slightly confusing news to us, and I wonder if anyone here can explain it? Basically we're being told that he has several autistic traits, and that these traits are enough to cause significant problems at school, and he advised us that the best way to deal with this is to see advice on the NAS website, but he doesn't have an autism diagnosis. Not even on the spectrum. Not aspergers. Just 'traits'. I'm confused, because I feel if he has enough traits to cause significant difficulty, surely this means he is on the spectrum, albeit at the high, functioning end of it. But the Dr says the fact he could communicate and showed imagination means he isn't. Please help me make sense of this. On the one hand, if he doesn't have autism then great, but on the other hand, where do we go from here in order to help him with what are nonetheless significant difficulties. Sorry for the waffle, just trying to work out what being 'on the spectrum' as opposed to 'having autistic traits' means.

Parents
  • There are a number of criteria that a child or adult must meet to have a diagnosis. Usually validated tools are used. Did this doctor use any screening tools and give a written evaluation?

    Even if your son is not autistic he needs to learn strategies to manage his anxiety if he's going to function. Sadly this kind of wait to get assessment and assistance is real and problematic. If the doctor gave a written evaluation he should have made recommendations on what might help

  • We're awaiting the written report. Our appt was 2 weeks ago, so hoping it'll get emailed through soon. I'm getting impatient for info & advice, hence looking on here, and have spent the last 2 weeks puzzling over our predicament! Really curious for further information on the different approaches for a child with 'only' autistic traits (he finds stuff so difficult, and we find his meltdowns so hard to cope with)! I'm dreading the return to school, as he struggles so badly, and without anything concrete to report from our dr appointment I'm worried that school will dismiss his behaviour as just 'naughty' if I tell them he's not got a diagnosis (they've been good so far because they've been convinced he's got ASD). Thanks for replying QuirkyFriend Slight smile

Reply
  • We're awaiting the written report. Our appt was 2 weeks ago, so hoping it'll get emailed through soon. I'm getting impatient for info & advice, hence looking on here, and have spent the last 2 weeks puzzling over our predicament! Really curious for further information on the different approaches for a child with 'only' autistic traits (he finds stuff so difficult, and we find his meltdowns so hard to cope with)! I'm dreading the return to school, as he struggles so badly, and without anything concrete to report from our dr appointment I'm worried that school will dismiss his behaviour as just 'naughty' if I tell them he's not got a diagnosis (they've been good so far because they've been convinced he's got ASD). Thanks for replying QuirkyFriend Slight smile

Children
  • My SO and I have just done day 1 of a 2 day course called Framework for Autism in New Zealand, in response to his 16 y/o daughter now having a diagnosis. We've known there were issues for about 4 years and we had started using lots of the techniques before the diagnosis because it was necessary.

    The slap head d'oh reminder to us today was to ask the kid about their experience and see why they think or do things. Much of the course focused today on some communication tools to help us neurotypical people work with people with ASD.

    We're struggling with personal hygiene issues (she won't wash or change her clothes and resents being told but it's not OK to smell like a pole cat) and next time she's staying I need to figure out how to ask her beyond her usual "I forget" excuse.

    Creating more structure and predictability was the big message. For my SO, his big take home was a sign one parent was using on the iPad. We had been talking about "now and later" explanations for transitions between tasks and they had to deal with meltdowns if the iPad was hidden away. Putting it into a clear file with a stop sign and the words "not available for now" meant the kid had rules about usage but still had the visual cue the iPad was still safe.