Hello from a mother to recently diagnosed ASD 10 year old

Hello,

I have just joined this community, my 10 year old daughter has recently been diagnosed with ASD after years of wondering if it's just inadequate parenting, psychopathy or autism related. Life is really hard and seems to be getting harder but I'm still going and hoping to maybe be able to help others and get support myself.

Thank you for reading

  • Our SD16 has ASD and she dissociates with anxiety.

    We are trying to get some proper therapy and won't discount the potential need for medication given her family history.

    I'm guessing because the school has a negative view of her she's getting more and more wound up and then tips over into anger.

    It may not be possible but you may wish to consider a school move if they don't start recognising she's a child with special needs.

  • Thank you! That particular teacher is a total eejit, still makes you question yourself though. I shall try the overly dramatic response though - generally she doesn't seem to care about any impact on others, she thinks she's always right and we all deserve to be told :-(

    Oddly enough when the 'extreme' behaviour does occur (kicking teachers, recking rooms etc) she never admits to remembering anything - is this common too?

    Thank you again!

  • That teacher is a bloody idiot amature psychologist using Daily Mail as his source material.

    Personality Disorders can only be diagnosed in adults. Personality is not fixed until a child is fully grown 

    If he ever says that again get busy making a formal complaint for him making statements out of complete ignorance he's  not qualified to make. Make the reparation for his stupidity that he has to attend a course on autism!

    Japan

    The outspoken "speaker on" kid is hard to deal with. One thing that can work is to be dramatic when what she says is hurtful (acting out being stabbed in the heart) so she starts becoming aware of the impact.

    There is a great book TA for kids that might help too. 

  • Thank you for your replies, I do feel alone sometimes and I do think hormones are making things worse too. It's taken the best part of 3 years for CAMHS to give a final diagnosis, they've been doing the watchful waiting thing and only ended up doing the full ADOS assessment after the school kept excluding her - but it really is ASD (well Asperger's but its all ASD now apparently).

    The main problem we have is that she presents as a 'Veruca Salt' type child as she is very loud and says whatever is on her mind, and never backs down if someone confronts her on what she says, if it gets pushed too far her behaviour is really extreme. Even after the diagnosis a member of teaching staff at her school told me that he though the diagnosis was wrong and she probably had personality disorder with entrenched behaviour :-(  I know that is absolutely ridiculous but its the kind of thing we're faced with all the time, some staff at the school seem supportive but I always have a nagging doubt that maybe its all my fault somewhere along the line and thats what they think too, this sort of comment completely floors me and I'm really struggling now - I thought a final diagnosis would somehow make things better but it would seem nothing changes.

    I am booked onto the first session of the autism awareness course this week so hoping that may help to clarify things, it helps to know that other parents are going through the same, is anyone else struggling with peoples perceptions of girls behaviours and I suppose, it is discrimination against them :-(

  • Hi,  This is my first time in this community, and I was looking for something else when I saw this and felt I needed to reply.  Let me introduce myself, I have a daughter of 8 who doesn't have Autism and a son is 10 as was diagnosed with ASD (Autisum Spectrum Disorder) 4 years ago (when he was 6).  

    When I first found out my son had ASD we where given a diagnosis and sent on our way... for quite a few years we didn't have any support or information.  Then last year when my son went into year 5 at school things started to change, his moods were more aggressive and he started to harm himself with biting and hitting his head on walls, and then just after his 10th Birthday he wrapped his birthday balloon around this neck and tried to strangle himself.  

    I had tried going to doctors just before all this happened but their wasn't any help available, it was only after these incidents that the school decided to contact CAMHs (Community and Metal Health) to help.  I have attended a short but helpful course on Autism, which actually helped me put some things in place to help my son (not everything helps). 

    Things are different with a child with ASD, and although it seems really tough at the moment it will gradually improve.  One of the other things you have to think about is that at their age is that they will also have hormones running wild through their system, which makes it even harder for them and you. They will find controlling their moods that much harder, and if you consider a child without ASD and their moods, you can imagine the pressure of a child with ASD.   

    If you feel without support please don't, their are support networks out their.  You are not alone, and although my son was diagnosed 4 years ago I know what it is like when you first hear the news.  

    I would recommend talking to your school, and see what they have in place for your child. And I can also recommend a Autism course if there is one in your area, ours was a free course which was very kindly held in my kids school, this showed us some of the things that could be leading up to our sons meltdowns (it was called the iceburg effect, if you wish to look it up).

    I Hope this has helped in someway, and remember you are not alone.

  • Hi. Agree with the confusion. Our son (9yrs) was diagnosed just before his 9th birthday. We'd been aware of something since nursery, but took a long time to get through most people's view of "he's just young". 

    By the time diagnosis arrived we were expecting it. It seems to have been harder since. We wondered if it was us relaxing a little more, realising he didn't mean some of the things he was doing, that has inadvertently allowed certain behaviour to get worse.

    Also the change in pressure from trying to understand what was different, to now trying to find support ... knowing we're in it for the long haul.

    For what it's worth, you're not alone.

  • Hi. My daughter is 10 next month and was diagnosed with ASD a month ago. Things are very hard for us too and I also feel like it's getting harder since the diagnosis but I think maybe it's a lot to do with me having trouble coming to terms with it?! I didn't think it would be so hard as I was expecting the diagnosis but I'm feeling absolutely devastated and confused with a lot of different emotions.