I was diagnosed yesterday. Today I have been thinking about things that have happened to me or that I have done in the new knowledge of my diagnosis. It's very odd. I was surprised to be diagnosed. I asked if I was borderline but they looked horrified and said that I was 100%, no doubt classic autism.
I'd like to say hello to people on here. Hello.
Piggy77, I'm so sorry about your family's reaction :-( it is interesting that people try to minimise your diagnosis, even though your diagnosis with classic autism is very solid. Maybe they are trying to tell you they think you are okay in their eyes? Obviously they have no idea about the stresses and strains you face in your every day life. And that it might be useful to you to get recognition for your years of struggling?
I like your idea of treating yourself with respect. I am often horrible to myself, because I never meet my expectations. Quite the opposite, I feel like I have messed up my life and any chance of finding happiness in the shape of family life or a fulfilling career.
Becoming more oneself...Yes. I'm trying to get my head around these new thoughts. It kind of makes sense. For example, I have never found a partner - but maybe it was because I never was truly myself. This is rather a sad thought. A world of missed opportunity. The good side is: the more one is oneself maybe the more one attracts people who love you for who you are (but my experience as a child and teenager was one of being a carcass thrown to the vultures - I do not wish to put myself in that position ever again).
It is strange that you too and others above feel that the diagnosis may be an error. Me too. So much. I wonder: "What if I had filled in other answers to some of the questions I wasn't quite sure about?" (you know those questions tick A or B and neither made sense).
The thing is of course: it wasn't even my idea to get referred in the first place and even though it was suggested a while ago, I still feel I'm getting used to the idea. I feel asperger is what geeky computer specialists have - and as I can behave kind of "normal" - I somehow don't feel entitled to the excuse.
It really makes sense what you say. Being true to yourself... it is probably the most beautiful gift we can give ourselves.
I think that an important part for me will be acccepting the fact that stupid things stress me out. That I expect too much of myself. That I need to be assertive in drawing my boundaries. And that it is okay to accept help (and need to start figuring out what kind of help I need).
I have also started telling friends about boundaries and limits (even though I am hesitant about telling them about my diagnosis - they think I just have a burnout, or am depressed or just maybe crazy/lazy/not working/scrounging benefits). Saying for instance: I will meet up for two hours. Also I realise like if I have an evening with friends - if I stay to long I have an emotional hangover - and feel terrible all next day - but if I limit the time and leave early (even if I am enjoying the company) I feel better the next day. Also not combining too many stressful events in one day.
I'll hold onto to the "treat yourself with respect idea". Maybe fully embracing and accepting our diagnosis, is the first step to being nice to ourselves?
Sorry for the very late reply. I haven't been able to log in to the site.
Procrastinator it sounds like you had to fill out a questionnaire as part of your diagnosis. Is that correct? I just had a two hour interview with two doctors. I didn't complete any tests.
My family aren't interested because they aren't interested in me generally. They only ever cared about my appearance and making sure one day someone would want to marry me. I rebelled and married eventually for love. I found someone who I could fully be myself with. I would like you to meet someone one day who you could be yourself with too :)
I have spent all of my life doing the opposite of what I wanted to do which is what was drilled into me as a small child as my Mum said shy, unsociable people don't get on in life. I work in a shop which I find awkward and I manage a minimal social life which exhausts me. I don't quite do exactly what I want to yet but I'm slowly getting my head around the fact that it's okay to do so. I'm not sure I'll ever get there but I will keep trying. The doctors said that my Mum did what she thought was best but they urged me to live my life as I want to from now on. I do social things even though I don't want to as on some level I feel it's important.
I feel my life has been a complete train wreck (a mess) I am embarrassed to think back on all the things I have done and not done just to fit in.
Procrastinator who suggested that you got diagnosed? I chose to myself even though I had been pretty sure for the last ten years that I was autistic.
Your experience of social events is exactly the same as mine. For the last year I have limited them to two hours as I can't stand any more. I don't have people in my house as I can't control when they leave. Stupid things stress me out too but I am slowly getting my head around accepting this. My Husband accepted this year's ago and I am trying to too. Sometimes I get the wrong train home (the train I get every day twice a day) and get lost and cry. My Husband long ago accepted that he comes to collect me or stays on the phone and gives me clear directions home. When people query my diagnosis I think about this and laugh inside. People I work with would be shocked if they knew what my life is like away from work.
I've only been officially diagnosed a few weeks but I am boundary setting every day. It's a great feeling to tell people what I will and won't accept/do. If only I could have done this 39 years ago! Maybe I could have lived the life I wanted, one I could be proud of. I wish you luck with your journey and I hope you receive everything you want in your life xx