Newly diagnosed adult female Newcastle 38 years old


I was diagnosed yesterday. Today I have been thinking about things that have happened to me or that I have done in the new knowledge of my diagnosis. It's very odd. I was surprised to be diagnosed. I asked if I was borderline but they looked horrified and said that I was 100%, no doubt classic autism. 

I'd like to say hello to people on here. Hello.

  • Hello

    sort of my story too when I was diagnosed last year when I was 45. I am 47 now.  I tried to ask at a later session whether I was like fully or severe ... and was told that misleading because am 100% in itself.  Mine is 2/3'ds autism with PDD-NOS. The book says not a helpful diagnosis. But I say it is because it allowed me the help. With their agreement I can just say Autism and people understand that there are times I need extra help with things. I have my own style meltdowns at times.  I too looked back at life and wondered how things gone wrong and now got some answers.  Things has vastly improved for me since the diagnosis. Yes I still get angry and upset but people around me know and take time out to help me rather than glare at me for walking off. I can't always help myself but when it like that people try to help me without being judgemental. 

  • Hello, welcome to the forum,

    You are not alone in finding your diagnosis surprising!  I was diagnosed only a few weeks ago (45 years old) - and like you was quite stunned to find that I am way, way over the "borderline" (Asperger's and alexithymia in my case).

    Already, the wisdom and advice of other here who also made their big discovery relatively late in life has helped me enormously as I "review" my life in light of diagnosis.  I hope you find the same.

    Best wishes. 

  • Thank you for your helpful replies. I am pretty excited to start living life in my own way rather than trying to fit in. Happier times ahead hopefully :)

  • piggy77 said:

     I am pretty excited to start living life in my own way rather than trying to fit in.

    That really hit home you saying the above. I feel I am so used to doing what others expect of me that I never have much energy to do my own projects. I have spent all my life trying to avoid comments or avoid doing things the wrong way.

    I was diagnosed this January and part of me was relieved that I have an excuse for feeling the way I do. But another part of me also feels it must be a mistake, that it is just very very mild, that I just need to pull myself together stop procrastinating and just get on with life. That it can't be that serious, it's just me being oversensitive and lazy.

    The lady testing me, told me that people who mask it and who compensate the most often suffer more than people with people with ASD who don't try to fit in socially. So that "mild" autism does not mean the suffering is mild. It just means that that you can look after yourself.

    My question would be: how do you start doing things your own way - and to hell with what people think?? All my social life seems to revolve around a) doing what people expect b) avoiding criticism c)being the clown people like to laugh at d) being excessively kind, trying to please and caring and probably unusual for autism: I'm good at listening, apparently have good empathy (but of a rational/mirrored kind) and people love telling me their problems (which leaves me exhausted emotionally, and sometimes depresses me).

    I also feel it is me who gives all the time, but I don't get much back from others. I often feel lonely. If I say to hell with all trying to fit in, won't that leave me even more lonely???

    Is it possible to rethink yourself at 43?

  • Procrastinator your reply has really resonated with me. The fact is that I don't know how you live life on your own terms but I intend to find out!

    It's been one week since my diagnosis and I have actually had to ask my Husband if it really happened. People keep telling me I must be very high functioning or perhaps I misunderstood my diagnosis. My family don't believe it/don't care. I keep worrying that I have been diagnosed in error. This is a fear of mine. I know in fact that the specialists were very thorough. 

    I don't really know where to start with trying to live life on my own terms. I have started small by being really honest and open about my diagnosis. I am allowing myself to look people in the eye less as I find eye contact uncomfortable. 

    I am going to move on from these things to bigger things once I have gained a bit of confidence. I don't think it's a case of going from A to Z. I think you need to build up slowly. I think if I treat myself with respect then other people will too. I sometimes feel lonely because there is such a gap between how I want my life to be and how it is. I'm not being honest with myself or other people. Eventually I want to be less lonely because I'm more myself. Does that make sense?