Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello, my name is Michael i'm a 29 year old male. I'm not diagnosed with any form of autism but over the last couple of years i have been wondering more and more if i am. I was wondering if there was anyone else who came to realise that they were suffering from a form of autism later in life and if they could help or tell me how they came to realise.
My whole life i have struggled with social interactions and have always kept to myself. When i was younger i struggled in school and was always in the lower classes suffering with dyslexia. I was ambidextrous up until high school, when i was forced to choose one hand to write with as my handwriting was so bad.
I have always excelled in the arts, being a musician and loving to draw. Later in life i acheived a first class degree in audio production and now i am studying a masters in sound design at a film school in the uk.
Lately i have been suffering from social anxiety and really struggling to interact and it has become more obvious as my course relies heavily on socialising with many other departments. I'm having regular panic attacks and find myself being unable communicate in groups.
I tend to keep to myself most of the time although i really want to interact with others more. I have alway known something was not right as i have struggled to keep relationships in the past and never had a long term relationship. I also struggle to keep in contact with friends and have lost many friends over the years due to this. I only have a handful of close friends that i have kept in contact with over the years.
I guess i have always known soemthing is wrong but i've always ignored it. It's only lately as it seems to be effecting my career that i feel i need to face whatever the issue is head on. The more i read about autism and the symptoms the more i feel i may be suffering from a form of it.
If anyone who is or has been in a similar situation later in life can share their experiences or help with what steps i should take next, i would be really greatful.
Thank You
Michael
Yeah i'd like to talk more on here for now if that's okay? How did you come to realise you were suffering from aspergers? and how did you find it taking that initial step to seeking professional help?
The main thing that worries me is the opening up to anyone about it let alone a stranger face to face. With my past experience and complete loss of confidence in GP's the thought of bringing this up to a GP fills me with dread.
It might be worth seeing also if there's an NAS or other autism support group in your area. I'm not sure whether you might be able to bring someone with you. But it is well worth pursuing diagnosis: not just to get a handle on playing to your strengths and keeping an eye out for your weaknesses, but also because (in my experience) the support and sense of community among fellow-Aspies is great. Yes, we are all individuals and have our own special interests and quirks, but because most of us have had to deal with knocks from the NT world, we care about each other.
I was diagnosed at 50. When I was 47, I had come close to a breakdown because of workplace stress, had a short course of CBT, and started looking into what had been going on with my faulty coping mechanisms. A lot of things came to the surface that I had been struggling with for years.
Book-wise, I also recommend Tony Attwood's Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome.