Hello. I'm new to this site as I've just been formally diagnosed with ASD in my mid-40s. I have no friends at all, but a wonderful wife and kids. Have struggled all of my life with serious anxiety around a myriad of factors. The diagnosis is somewhat a relief and was expected, yet when delivered it hit me like a thunderbolt. The past two days I only feel despair; having never felt 'normal' (whatever that is) I always hoped I'd feel so much better one day with the correct help/medication. I can't help feeling I'll always feel this way, desperately sad and anxious. Even the consultant psychologists have admitted I have significant issues that are worse now as I was never diagnosed much earlier in life. They are puzzled why I haven't been considered for ASD and diagnosed in the past as it was very clear cut to them when going through the assessments, which is often difficult in older adults. The root cause of my issues are definitely ASD, and I'm trying to be positive about the future, but I'm struggling to see the positives at the moment. Hope to read of some positive stories on these blogs.
Hello PMH and welcome,
I was also recently diagnosed (at 61).
The diagnosis does come as something of a shock at first - even if it was expected. However, I regard it as an explanation for past troubles and a tool for coping with the future.
Six weeks after my diagnosis I am now viewing the future in a more positive light.
This forum does (at the least) contain people who are very knowledgeable and kind.
I suggest you look around the site at the advice offered to others, and to realise you are not alone.
Please do post if there’s anything you’d like to discuss.
All the best, Graham.
Many thanks Graham, that's very kind and helpful.
Hello, I am very recently diagnosed as well (at 51) welcome to the community. Like you I have a wonderful husband and children as well as issues.
Hello, went through a very similar thing myself.Diagnosed late in life .... when i was at school i was expelled and classed as a ''mental patient'' and spent many many years in various institutions both in UK and abroad. Dont ever give up ... having a diagnosis is a good thing and you have plenty of ''friends'' now .... and its a very positive thing that you have a wonderful wife and kids, i am guessing here but i think that makes you one of the (not sure about this word) ''lucky'' ones .... focus on whats good, let it grow and try to be happy.All the best.
hello PMH, like you I've recently (at 50 years old) got a diagnosis for ASD. its early days for me, but what I've found is that the few folk that know about this are kind of 'yeah we thought you might be'! but it allows them to talk openly and honesty at last to me. its been positive, yeah i'm still myself a anxious about lots of things (work, socializing, being in crowds, cafes...list is long) but now i can let those few folk know i'm anxious, rather than bottling it up as before. also, work are brilliant, now that i have y diagnosis they are making all sorts of adjustments for me to ease life a bit. also the post diagnosis consultation focused on he positive traits of ASD, tenacity, eye for detail, honesty and more, it made ne appreciate my self and accept the hard things like social anxiety etc. ie, its not all negative, there are loads of good things to being ASD.
it has definitely helped me and my wife to get this diagnosis TOO, we're sorting lots of strategies for when relatives visit, i usually keep out of the way as i don't like the fuss) and for how she communicates 'non verbal' stuff to me, i just don 't get the body language thing or subtle implicated things, and used to end up in arguments over it! and just like you , we are both 'normal', just not typical. ASD diagnosis has been a good thing for me, it's made me realize folk are far more understanding than i thought. oh i could go on forever (i do that), but all i can say is i'm glad i got my diagnosis, because round the folk that count, i can be myself and still sometimes offend/frustrate, but ultimately be accepted for being me, a 50 yo ASD and ok to be around. i'm positive about my future, please be too, keep posting,hope this helps , bye for now, Paul.
Thanks, that's very nice of you.
Thanks. Interesting about your work. I've had conflicting advice on this. Even the consultant said he wasn't sure about disclosing to work due to some people in society still having issues with it that might affect my career progression, whereas others think my workplace will be very supportive. I'm in academia, so normally quite liberal-minded. I'd be interested to hear what type of workplace you are in. Thanks, Peter
Hello I have also been diagnosed later in life at 52 and beginning to cope, although difficult at first, take each day as it comes and get into a routine, this is what helps me as a single person.
My workplace couldn't be more liberal-minded, but I still don't tell everyone. Not sure why. Partly, they don't need to know, partly they may already suspect or use different language about it, and partly I don't want to bring my autistic identity into everyday work - yes, I have a certain analytical doggedness that is useful, but that's as far as I'll go with it.