Published on 12, July, 2020
In September, I'm going to be starting my BA degree course in illustration and animation and would appreciate some advice in speaking and communicating with new and different people.
I have almost finished my foundation year and i haven't really spoken any one, or made any new friends. I really liked the course and have accomplished many things in terms of education, but not in communication. I realise now making new friends in university is a lot harder than IIwas ecpecting, especiall in a new environment. Next year I want to have real and full filling conversations with new people with out making as many mistakes as I have done this year. Agian advice would be appreciated.
Thanks.
I should add that being in a supergeek field of science really helped with the social stuff as well, because half of the people I spent time with were probably on the spectrum. I bet that there are a few of your fellow illustration and animation students on the spectrum as well.
I don't know about you, but I find people on the spectrum, and spectrum-adjacent people, far easier to get along with than others. There's no point in forcing yourself to socialise with people with whom you have nothing in common.
What would a ‘real and fulfilling’ conversation be about for you?
Also, don’t be afraid of making mistakes, it’s how we learn, it’s the reason why we have lightbulbs today! Mistakes are simply the stepping stones to success. They’re to be embraced, never feared.
The book ~ How to Make Friends and Influence People ~ is a great way to learn more about how to make friends. If you like listening to books and haven’t joined already, you can get a free copy of this at audible.co.uk or you can download a pdf copy here https://www.yourcoach.be/blog/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/Dale-Carnegie-How-to-win-friends-and-influence-people.pdf. Of course you can always purchase a copy or borrow it from the library.
I suppose the other thing to remember is to be that which we are seeking. For example, if we want more love in our lives, we would be more loving, so if we want more friends, we need to be more friendly and the book will definitely help you with that. Be genuinely interested in other people and ask them about themselves, give genuine compliments and don’t forget to always be your own best friend which means, never give yourself a hard time, always be self supportive and kind to yourself.
Well done on almost completing your foundation degree.
Hi, I went to university recently in the south west and found there were very many support networks and services at uni. There really is far better understanding and acceptance than there was even 10 years ago. I'd reach out to these services straight away and let other students know immediately that you're different or can be socially awkward. I found that if people knew straight off, then when 'strange' things were said or happened they knew it wasn't because I was being malicious, I had just messed up and their acceptance enabled me to laugh about it later without getting into the self recriminations that I usually do. Also, you'll find you are not the only one who suffers from differentness. I found it helpful to remember that everyone will be feeling anxious it's just that Neuro typicals have more efficient masks to hide their fears.
You will probably make many more friends at HE level than FE. It's a great time to be going to uni, I really hope you thrive and thoroughly enjoy the experience.
I did better socially as a student in university than I did at any other time in my life, I think because I felt so at home there. I wasn't particularly trying to make friends, but since I was enjoying myself, I naturally got together with others who were doing the same subject I was. Instead of trying to make friends, perhaps just make sure you are happy doing what you are doing, and the social stuff will happen naturally.
I wish I were in a position to offer constructive help but I'm afraid making friends isn't a skill of mine. Then again, I haven't been particularly motivated to practice it much so I guess the only advice I can give is that, if it's important to you, practice? Perhaps practice by striking up conversations or small-talk / chit-chat with people you know such as your regular bus driver, local shopkeeper, librarian, waitress, or other safe people like that and see what works and what you feel comfortable with?