My son is 20months old, had a appointment with pediatrician today asked her if im worried about nothing and she said no too many signs, but instead of coming back in 3month can i come back in 4 when hes 2. Im just so sad, sad for my little man that is going to have such a hard life. Im in the unknown, i dont know what to expect? Please can someone tell me? While i see her again i have to see the speech therapist as hes not talkimg he started saying mama then stopped now he only growls.
To clarify, your pediatrician has said that your son has many signs of being autistic?My best advice at this stage would be...please don't be sad for your son.
I'm autistic myself. I can also tell you that you'd struggle to find anyone as happy with their life as I am. Real, genuine, all-encompassing happiness, every moment of every day.
I'm not saying that there aren't going to be challenges of epic proportions ahead. I'm not saying that your son won't face struggles and hardships. I am, however, saying that you shouldn't assume that 'the unknown' is negative. And this stands true even if your son remains non-verbal. The mind works, even if the voice doesn't, and with love and support he may be as endlessly happy as I am.
Being autistic does not condemn anyone automatically to a life of unhappiness. Don't feel sad for your son, but happy that the two of you can share in each other's lives.
Thank you for replying to me.
I was crying reading what you wrote to my partner, it gives me hope. Im more scared about his school life, its hard enough without autism. I hope my little man is as happy as you!! How did you handle school? How should i treat him i feel like i need to protect him even more but the doctor wants him to go nursery i dont! He is a lovley little boy just different i hope hes not but so many signs.
Honestly, my school life wasn't good.
I had no friends and was very badly bullied, but also had a terrible home life. But bear in mind that I was undiagnosed at this time and autism wasn't even a word that most people knew. Nobody had any awareness of what autism meant so it was assumed that I was 'painfully shy', that I wouldn't speak because I didn't make an effort, that I was lazy because I was extremely intelligent but wouldn't participate in class unless it was a writing task, and never got my homework/coursework in on time. My school reports, looking back on them years later, were full of notes that I didn't connect with my peers, I was a loner, and that I clearly didn't care about lessons, when in fact I desperately wanted to do well in every single subject. But nobody knew autism, so they threw other labels at me. And the other children clearly identified in me that I was socially weak and 'weird', and could get away with anything because nobody - adult at home, teacher or anyone in a supporting role - was looking out for me.
Today, most people have some limited awareness of autism. They at least recognise the word. There are schools for those with different needs that a child can go to, or they can be homeschooled if that's a better option. Or, in mainstream schools, support can also be accessed. Thankfully things have changed, and though they're far from perfect you should be able to make the changes that your son needs for his own happiness.
With understanding of autism, and with supportive and loving parents that make an effort for him, there is no reason that your son can't have a happy childhood as well.
In adulthood, away from toxic people and with the freedom to make my own decisions about who I spend time with and which environments I'm in, my story is one of complete happiness.
Autism doesn't create unhappiness. But autism with a lack of support and understanding will do exactly that. Fortunately, you're in a position where you clearly love your son and you know what's going on, which gives him a fantastic start already. In fact, I'd be inclined to say that autistic people are naturally happy people - I don't want to speak for all autistic people, but they can often find joy where others can't and they're less weighed down by burdens of social hierarchy, peer pressure or a desire to fit in, in general. You'll hear many autistic people say 'I don't suffer from autism, I suffer from other people'. Listen to his needs and you can help to keep that suffering off his radar. I think you're going to do a great job. :-)
Blade said:Autism doesn't create unhappiness. But autism with a lack of support and understanding will do exactly that.
Whoah - that is such an amazing reply...and I can totally identify with how you describe autism and particularly adult autism...
Aww thats so alful to hear, you had such a hard time and no support. Kids can be so mean and thats what im scared of! Im glad you are in a better position now and happy i hope you have people around now to support you.
You have been alot of help and put my mind at rest. Hes still the same little boy. Think I need to do alot of research, ive seen a course for parents with autistic children im going to enquire about. Least if i have a better understanding i can help him and and fight his corner when he gets to school. Thank you for your kinds words I hope your right I dont have a clue what is going to happen next. All i can do is try my best.
Just wanted to say how lovely your comments are.
you are a good role model for all coping with autism.
you are very nice and deserve to be told,,,,often,