My son is 2.5 years old and has recently been diagnosed on the spectrum. I am 33 years old and my wife is 28.
It's been a tough couple of months coming to terms with everything but with lots of love and support around us we are steady on our path and ready for the journey ahead.
We would like to have more children but have lots of anxiety about how this would impact our little boys world. If any of you could share your experiences and thoughts on this we'd love to get some advice from people in or who've been in the same boat.
Many thanks x
Hi there Papabear. I grew up (I’m autistic) thinking I could only love one person at a time. I have since learned, that our capacity to love is infinite and is forever expanding. I would have loved to have had more kids. However, having two grandchildren has made me realise that I am not capable of bringing up more than one child, not because of a limited capacity to love, but because of my need for control and order. However, you sound more than capable of the job. My friend has an autistic son who would be described at severely autistic, he goes to a special school. Then they had a daughter, also on the spectrum, but so called less severe, she attends mainstream school. Even though they both have different needs, and my friends life is mega organised through necessity, she wouldn’t change a thing. Both her children bring their own bubble of bliss and joy with them, they both enrich her life beyond compare. And she’s still smiling, even with a husband who is also on the soectrum! I say, go for it. You’re a blessing to this world and nothing negative could come from bringing more of you into the world. Your little boys world will be enhanced by having a little brother or sister, in so many ways and the child will also benefit from having him as a big brother.
Hi there blue ray, thankyou for your response. It's nice to have an opinion from a parent and somebody also on the spectrum. Thankyou for your honesty there.
Hi . My son is almost 4 and we are waiting for our referral it’s been such a long process but we’ve recently had another baby who is now 5 months old and at first my son couldn’t deal with the new baby and found things hard , was having more meltdowns too but after around 3 months or less he has grown to adore his baby brother and now absolutely loves him , he actually really helps my son to calm down and if he’s having a stressful day or meltdown the baby will be the distraction he needs to calm down . Very loving too .
Hope this helps .
That's really encouraging to hear. I'm so glad and happy for you.
Out of interest will you be putting them together in the same bedroom?
They won’t be until the baby is about 3 , that’s just because of space really . I found making my son very aware we were having another baby helped him understand the change ahead . Good luck .