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Hi I am new.

LimaMikeSquared
over 6 years ago

Hello, 

I am sort of new. I have been a member a long time and not really visited. 

My partner and I have suspected I have high functioning autism for a little while but not started to follow a diagnosis route. I have just started this year. Being in Suffolk and a high functioning adult I seem to be at the bottom of the list (it has taken 4 months to move from the Mental Health Advisor appointment to the first phone call from the Access and Assessment team and that is as far as I have gotten). 

 I am in full time work but have a very understanding employer, so i am lucky in this aspect. The company exercises flexi working for hours and location which has been a god send at times. My line manager is great and essentially being an archaeological curator it suits my tendencies well and I have found I can use some of them to my advantage. I do seem to mirror many school children here though in that I perform well at work but then at home I am worn out and go to pieces.

My main query is there any useful literature out there for my husband. He has emotional dysregulation issues and is struggling finding techniques to help me - I have been starting to research and learn DBT techniques (I am not very far in) and wondered if anyone knew of some of these that I could point him to to help me coming from the other direction.

Also has anyone got any recommendations on good positive books for understanding adult autism and how to help a spouse with it. I can relate to the issues in books focused on school age children but find the techniques a bit specialised for the school environment and placed from a parenting point of view. 

Thank you

Julie

Parents
  • over 6 years ago

    Hi Julie,

    I'm a diagnosed Aspie, aged 58.  I got my diagnosis (finally!) at age 56.

    I can sympathise with your situation.  I have always struggled in cohabiting relationships, and as far as I know they've all been with NTs.  I should say - my ex-partners have all struggled, too.  It often isn't an easy condition to live with for both parties.

    After my diagnosis, I was referred by my GP to [removed by moderator] for support.  They turned me down, though - probably because of my age.  I was then offered - more locally - something called 'Psychosexual Counselling'.  When I queried it, they said that the title could be misleading (not helpful!) and that it was basically a DBT course specifically tailored for people on the autism spectrum.  The main focus was on emotional regulation.  Unfortunately, I wasn't able to go ahead with it because of a family issue at the time, and haven't been back for re-referral.  It seems, though, that it could be an avenue to explore - if there are two formulations of DBT available.

    Sorry I can't help you any more than this.  I was wondering, though, how your husband's emotional dysregulation manifests itself - and if there are any particular triggers.

    All the best,

    Tom

    Edited by Nellie-Mod

Reply
  • over 6 years ago

    Hi Julie,

    I'm a diagnosed Aspie, aged 58.  I got my diagnosis (finally!) at age 56.

    I can sympathise with your situation.  I have always struggled in cohabiting relationships, and as far as I know they've all been with NTs.  I should say - my ex-partners have all struggled, too.  It often isn't an easy condition to live with for both parties.

    After my diagnosis, I was referred by my GP to [removed by moderator] for support.  They turned me down, though - probably because of my age.  I was then offered - more locally - something called 'Psychosexual Counselling'.  When I queried it, they said that the title could be misleading (not helpful!) and that it was basically a DBT course specifically tailored for people on the autism spectrum.  The main focus was on emotional regulation.  Unfortunately, I wasn't able to go ahead with it because of a family issue at the time, and haven't been back for re-referral.  It seems, though, that it could be an avenue to explore - if there are two formulations of DBT available.

    Sorry I can't help you any more than this.  I was wondering, though, how your husband's emotional dysregulation manifests itself - and if there are any particular triggers.

    All the best,

    Tom

    Edited by Nellie-Mod

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