Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi, I first found out about the National Autistic Society after my son was diagnosed as on the autistic spectrum at the age of 5. He is now 13. Over the years it gradually began to dawn on me that I also had autistic traits, and recently did some online tests. The results suggest I might have Asperger's syndrome. (I just scored 39 on this website's AQ test.) I am wondering whether it is worth trying to get a diagnosis for myself, considering how hard it was for other family members to accept my son's diagnosis. Also, is it likely that I passed autism on to him?
Welcome first and foremost to the strangest but most helpful place on the planet where we can all be ourselves and not worry about what others think. Where help is the norm and discouragement doesn’t exist. We are all here to help each other.
There is evidence that there is a genetic side to autism as others have probably pointed out and having an autistic parent increases the likelihood. To what extent is not truly known, as for it to be fully known would require 100% diagnosis of the cohort in each study. That said, does it actually matter if one has passed it on or not, as even if one has and allows guilt to come into play, does that achieve anything? The answer is no, it’s really not worth worrying about.
As for whether it’s worth looking at yourself either with self or professional diagnosis that’s an entirely different question and gives rise to a more important questions. Firstly, what use to you would a diagnosis serve? Secondly, what would you do with a diagnosis? Once you have answered those to fundamental questions then the method of diagnosis comes into play, in my personal experience from reading others views and my own actual experience.
Bless you Disallowed!
Your Icon is a Starmie Pokemon!! Yay!!
Hi Orinoco
I am 42 with a son who is also 13. Have you had a look at Tania Marshalls checklist for women?
it is new for me too....an epiphany hit in the summer.....I have told my husband (not interested) but do share with the ASD kids that I work with and they like the fact that I can identify with them.
However, I do worry about what I have read about parenting with ASD.... The Author of Nerdy, Shy and Socially Inappropriate found she brought her own gifts to the child rearing process and her OH was able to support in the ways they she felt less able to excel in....
nice to meet you
Ellie
Hi seekeraftertruth,
Thanks for your reply, The idea that I have Asperger's syndrome is still sinking in, but it explains so much about my life, and now I have a reason for being the way I am. I actually feel more confident about helping my son through life because of it. In spite of that, though I don't feel ready to 'come out' about it to anyone yet. It's still a bit new.
Best wishes, from OrinocoFlo
Hi OrinocoFlo, welcome to the community!
I'd say it's worth getting a diagnosis for yourself if you think it would benefit you. If not, there's no law saying you have to, it's completely up to you. Also, if you did get a diagnosis, you only disclose to who you want to know. In my workplace there's only 3 people who know I have it (and I work with lots of people), it's entirely up to you who you tell.
Did you pass on autism? I don't know what the official line is, but it's common for autism to run in families. I can name family members with traits. But I wouldn't worry about it, if it's in your genes then there's nothing you can do about it one way or the other, you have no control over who you pass it to or not, so why worry. It's part of who he is, and part of what makes him special to you and he has a place in the world, just as you do. The world is a better place because of you both.
It might also help your son and the rest of your family if you do get a diagnosis. Some of them might have it too! You can support each other in your journeys together.