I am new to the page but I am in desperate need of help. My son is 12 and we have been through the process and been thrown out of the other side. The problem is his primary school lied in the MDT meeting we had to try to see if a diagnosis could be reached. This lead to the paediatrician and the ed psych not being able to offer a diagnosis and so discharged us. This means we are once again on our own unable to cope with his outbursts. Don't get me wrong he is a clever and kind boy. But we have periods of anger and stubbornness that we can not control. We have two younger children who he winds up constantly and home life is more like a battle ground and it all depends what kind of day he has had at school. He has just moved to secondary school and I feel we are starting again. We were told we would only get a diagnosis is he exhibited behaviours in two areas ie school and home. But as he copes at school and only displays his frustration at home he can not be on the spectrum.
I really want to be able to support and help my son, but feel we are on our own and don't know where to go for help and advice. can anyone help me?
Thank you xxx
If you think it might be autism perhaps try to see it as symptom of a great deal of anxiety rather than stubbornness, and maybe you can find out what's causing that? It may be things or thoughts that would never occur to you, so keep your mind open. I'm just saying because my mum also quite often called me stubborn and it hurted a lot because it wasn't that and it implies naughtiness and intention. I'm not saying that's easy, it's most probably not, but I don't think it's going to do harm, so might be worth trying at least. I hope you'll get some help of some sort, but no matter what that looks like, it's probably not going to make this go away, so you'll still need to find ways to handle it.
Thank you. I don't think I phrased his behaviour right. I appreciate it isn't intentional and isn't stubbornness as such. It is just frustrating when he is saying something hurtful to his siblings which upsets them and he can't see why they are upset as in his eyes it is the truth.
Most of his anger comes from school or where he feels rules were broken and people not punished. The world is black and white to him with no grey areas. Rules have to followed at all times or it causes anxiety. Routine change is a nightmare too
Thank you for the advice I really appreciate it x