Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi.
My younger daughter is 15, and has problems with anxiety at school. On reflection, she has a number of traits that fit an Asperger's type profile closely, and has had since childhood. She's been referred for assessment with a view to that diagnosis. Our anxiety is that currently, she's a geeky girl who's a bit awkward socially, and has some anxieties, all of which are either within a normal range and/or she could expect to grow out of. Once she's diagnosed, she will be considered to have a lifelong condition which can not be cured.
In my family, lots of us (including me) have Asperger's-type traits, but none of us has had a formal diagnosis, and we've all grown up to be happy, working, having families, and maybe remaining a bit nerdy and shy, but that's all. Once we've escaped from the pressure-cooker of secondary school and have been able to choose who we spend our time with, and what we do, none of us has has significant problems.
I'm concerned that with a diagnosis, although my daughter will get help for the significant difficulties she is having at school (these centre around anxiety attacks and stress- she is doing really well academically), she will also become very difficult to employ for the rest of her life.
I'm not clear who would have to be told in future about her diagnosis. It is likely to affect her in getting a driving licence, or insurance for her life, health, mortgage or travel? Would she have to put it on a university application? Job applications?
She's lucky to be clever and I am fairly confident that she could learn to fake being neurotypical well enough to manage... so I'm not fully convinced that she'd be better off with a formal diagnosis than she'd be knowing what it probably is and doing a whole lot of reading about coping strategies.
I'd appreciate your thoughts...
Thanks!
Hi there . I have a son who is now 19 who was diagnosed at 17.
The diagnosis helped him confirm that he difficulties were not his fault , just a function of who he is.
If I were in your position and had a chance to get a diagnosis for your daughter , and she was happy to go for it too, I would. I see it as an isurance policy - you can use that diagnosis when you need to and tell who you want to.
If she has anxiety issues now, she may continue to need help with these through 6th form and uni if that's what she wants. For example she may be able to take exams in a room on her own rather than in a crowded hall. Extentions for coursework will be more easy to get if required
It won't affect getting a driving licence - my son has his already. We were able to claim DLA for him becasue of his difficulties which contribute to his driving costs - driving is much less stressful for him that public transport as he is in control.
You don't have to make a big thing about it on a university application - but it may help you if you do.
For universities it will give you access to extra support in terms of a mentor/ and or equipment, plus special consessions like being able to stay on campus all through the course. My son actually has a lower grade offer because of his disability , which takes the press ure off a bit ( although he is determined to get the true grades) My son mentioned his aspergers in his personal statemtn - becasue he feels it has shaped him to be who he is - and for the course he is ding his aspie strengths are very relevant ( electronic enginnering - a lot of pure logic is involved in this).
For employers some have a policy of always interviewing disabled candidates if they meet the minimuum criteria. It also gives the employeess protection as the employer has to make reasonable adjustments.
Reading posts on here its much harder to get a diagnosis as an adult. If she leves it til later she might find it harder.
I can't see how the diagnsis would affect a mortgage and our travel insurance people didn't wan to know.
As a matter of fact , someone who has had cancer but fully recovered would also be classed as disabled . It's not the label of disability which will hold her back - i beleive it would allow her to access significant extra help throughout ther life should she need it.