A Quiet Room in Kent

I had the idea of joining the London Library as somewhere quiet which I could visit as and when wanted/needed. The travel to London would have been a bit of a pain but when I saw the annual membership fee for the London Library I decided to drop the idea of joining the library.

My local (council run) library is used more as a community hub and cannot be considered quiet. Activities held at the library include the teaching of PC skills to pensioners and a group for mums and dads with toddlers (in a library!). The library premises are too small for a separate reading room.

I have searched for a reading room, club or library in Kent to meet my needs but have found nothing of use. I found a reading room but that belongs to a religious group and is only open one day a week.

Any ideas or thoughts will be appreciated. Thank you.

  • Thank you for the link. I shall take a look.

    This is the link for The Friars in Aylesford:
    http://www.thefriars.org.uk/

  • Glad that KAT could help you.  There's also this place, which I discovered the other week.  In Faversham.  Very peaceful.  A real oasis of calm...

    Abbey Physic Community Garden

  • The Kent Autistic Trust suggested either my local church (which is nearly always locked) or Maidstone Library (as that, apparently, is more of a studying library).

    Today I visited The Friars in Kent and, on this visit at least, the place was quiet. I spent quite some time sitting in the Peace Garden (which has multiple signs asking people to respect the fact the Peace Garden is meant to be somewhere quiet - people are even asked not to eat in the garden) and three other places (one indoors) in the grounds.

    The Peace Garden was lovely. I sat and watched the bees moving from plant to plant in search of nectar; I could even hear the occasional gentle buzzing of bees when three or more bees descended on a plant. I sat and listened to the birds singing.

    I shall take another trip (hopefully soon) to The Friars and, hopefully, it will turn out to be a place of quiet I can visit fairly easily.

  • Of course, nowadays, many libraries offer IT facilities in the form of PC's and the ubiquitous use of cell phones has made libraries very different places from what was once the case. It's inevitable that the odd cell phone will go off from time to time by accident and some people get irritated by the constant tapping of computer keyboards. I just don't think the social norms of years ago apply any longer because of the general breakdown of discipline in schools, etc. It all depends on the library in question but I think libraries nowadays are not nearly as quiet as they once were. Also, when I use the word 'socialise' I'm using it in the widest possible context. For me, being social involves some form of communication between individuals which can involve group discussions etc. within a library context, something I have certainly witnessed in my particular library. 

  • Couldn't agree more, caretwo Slight smile

  • I disagree that a library should be considered somewhere that people socialise: there are enough such places without invading libraries.

    When I was a child I was taught to be quiet in a library (even the village library which did not have room for studying). Indeed, if the librarians considered someone was making too much noise they were asked to be quiet or leave. And that is how I believe it should have been and how it should be now.

    The London Library's rules contain a section entitled 'Consideration for others' and includes these rules:

    Members should show due consideration for others when making use of the Library’s facilities, observing the need for quiet in all areas adjacent to reader desks and treating fellow members, visitors and staff with courtesy at all times, including staff discharging their duty to enforce the Library’s Rules. If the use of personal equipment of any kind disturbs other users, members may be asked to stop using it or to move to another location.

    Laptops and mobile devices may be used in silent mode for the processing or transmission of text or data except in the main Reading Room, where tablet and e-reader devices may be used for silent reading only and the use of all other electronic communication devices including personal audio equipment is prohibited. Even where the use of such equipment is permitted, sound reproduction must be limited to personal headphones and not broadcast by speaker.

    I obviously expect too much by expecting such rules to be in force in all libraries.

    It seems at least some neurotypicals will not be satisfied until they have turned all places of quiet into places of noise.

  • Well, caretwo, I guess (if you think about it) a library is not only a place of study but where people socialise, so in that sense it seems to me it would tend to be challenging to people on the AS. Even being in the presence of others can be a bit disconcerting to people on the AS so it is not that surprising you would find being in a library challenging. Of the few times I have visited my local library there have been occasions when a rowdy group of youngsters have been 'over boisterous', let's say, which can be pretty annoying to others who just want some peace in order to study. Not really their fault, I know - I was young once - but it does show that in any public place you are going to get a mix of people and you can never really know what to expect.

  • Why do they think that everyone needs to have a share of their noise?

    I often ask myself that same question but have never found an answer.

    Sorry I can't be more helpful.

    Your contribution has been much appreciated.

  • That's understandable.  I've had to move twice in the past.  When I went from the seafront flat, I moved into a quiet back-road and thought my problems were over.  Was I wrong!  The house was next door to a home for adults with severely-challenging behaviour - and my flat was adjacent to the room where the noisiest resident lived.  Shouting, music, banging and thumping, etc.  I was only there a month and my nerves were in shreds.  It cost me a lot of money to buy myself out of the contract on that place.

    It's an awful state of affairs, and so many people suffer because of it.  I actually think that consideration for others is pretty low on the list of priorities for many people.  Why do they think that everyone needs to have a share of their noise?

    Sorry I can't be more helpful.

  • I have already moved once due to noisy neighbours. They were of the opinion that shouting, swearing and arguing (even in front of their very young daughter) was the right way to behave. They became worse when the woman told me they did not argue and I quoted her the most recent argument. When the for sale sign went up their behaviour improved, although they could never be described as considerate. There were times, for example, when I could not tell if they were shouting at the dog or the child until a name was mentioned.

    Thank you for the link. I have bookmarked the site and will have at look at it later, possibly tomorrow, as I am feeling pretty low at the moment.

  • I do not like wearing ear plugs but with warm weather they do help stop me becoming too warm. I bought recently some wax ear plugs but have yet to give them a try.

  • I'll PM you on that score, if you like.

    I understand those neighbour issues.  My seafront flat had people underneath who used to have balcony parties every weekend in the summer.  They had a proper sound system out there, not just a CD player.  It was full-on until the early hours.  No escape.  Also, boy racers in the car park opposite until very late.  I got up a petition in the end, which succeeded in getting a pay barrier at the car park.  But complaints to the council about the neighbours didn't make a great deal of difference.  In the end, it became easier to move.  It's a really sad state of affairs when people are forced to do this because of others' lack of consideration.  People seem to get away with it, too, because they know they can.

    I found the Noisy Neighbours forum quite helpful, too. Not sure if it's still running - but there's this site:

    http://www.problemneighbours.co.uk/

  • I can empathize - I live in an old house which has been converted into flats and I have problems with the person in the flat above me running his washing machine at all hours of the day. Earplugs help to a certain extent but I don't like wearing them for long periods of time.

  • My place can be quiet but, on top of all the usual (difficult to deal with) noise, I do have problems with a household (four doors away!) playing music in their back garden more days than not, screaming brats (the screams go right through me), a football being kicked against all manner of objects for sometimes hours on end (when there is a recreation ground is less than a minute's walk away), etc.

    My current way of dealing with the noise is to wear noise-cancelling headphones, or ear defenders or earplugs, but there are times when I just want/need to escape the noisy environment.

    My GP suggested contacting the Kent Autistic trust to see if they know of anywhere suitable. That is on my to-do list.

  • I think University of Kent library is run by University of Kent instead of Kent County Council but I accept Martian Tom's comments that it may not be quiet enough for your needs.

  • Haha!  Everyone refers to it as 'Medway'.  But Medway Towns is strictly correct.  It's like people refer to New York, when they actually mean New York City, or more specifically Manhattan, rather than the state.

    My local library is very much a community centre.  Very noisy, all day.  But then, less and less of the space is given over to books, and they're usually mainly popular commercial fiction.  There's a reading area, but you'd need earplugs.  People wandering around distract me, too.

    The only place that I can really sit and read, study, concentrate, write, etc is my living room at home.  It's a known environment, and the ambient sounds of the busy road outside no longer bother me.  I don't have a doorbell, and I usually unplug the phone when at home.  When I lived on our seafront, though, it was absolute murder.  I felt like a prisoner in my own home because of the spontaneous eruptions of noise which could occur at any time of the day or night.

  • Thank you, I shall trying searching for art galleries and museums.

  • Thank you but Former Member confirms what I thought about libraries run by Kent County Council.

    I have the misfortune to live in the area of the Medway Towns and Hoo Peninsula (not Medway as that is a river and not a place or collection of places).

    We have a couple of campuses in the area but, unless I am mistaken, they are for student use only (which is fair enough).

  • When I lived near them, I used to enjoy visiting art galleries and museums. They were usually very quiet during the day and I found them excellent wind-down spaces in the middle of the city.  

  • I can tolerate the normal ambient sounds of traffic passing my window, etc.  But in a library, I'm always distracted by whispering, 'quiet' giggling, and so on

    Knowing that one really well, it's incredibly annoying. The trains here have a quiet coach and it's the worst one to be in. I had never realised before how many sharp z German has until that was all I could hear through the train noises, being at the opposite end of the coach...