Haters vs hated

Before I was carted off to hospital a few years ago for threating to burn the house down to harm my immediate family for putting themselves first. I've started to wonder if my feelings that they wanted me dead were genuine or out of disorder.

I'm slowly starting to realise that my feelings that others get to help themselves to me at their discretion because of my naive autistic weakness is a normal reality that I'm having to face. Unfortunately, regardless of what labels are used or how much medication I take, people get high off others and nothing seems to stop this glee to find a never ending supply of objects to hate, other than their own kind.

They are entitled to me and I'm entitled to kill myself because of them. The community of haters is like an invisible web that lies within society. The more they **** each other, the worse it gets because there are more of them playing this power trip game.

I've been meaning to give the NAS a call for some time but what on earth is there to say? We have the whole planet to ourselves and yet we squander it by taking out those that are different because someone said so. I guess I should be lucky that I have a roof over my head but what's the point when my own life is being used as a weapon? What good is good if there is no hate to back it up? The whole situation seems ridiculous to me.

The haters seem to win themselves and the fakers lose themselves to them. How can I be genuine when the social fabric of life is to be consumed by those that know how broken the game is by wielding themselves as some kind of debt to be repaid. A claim that their claim is more valid because they said so.

If I was to put this delusion of self first, how would I be any different from those that want me dead? I do not want to be one of you. If I was to be myself, then I what choice do I have other than retaliation?

I feel poisoned... Poisoned for being one of you.

Parents Reply Children
No Data