The Four Agreements

Does anybody here live by the Four Agreements? 

For anybody who is unfamiliar with them, they are ~

1. Be impeccable with your word

2. Don’t take anything personally 

3. Don’t make assumptions 

4. Always do your best 

and a later addition ~ 

5. Be skeptical but learn to listen. 

They are all based on Toltec Wisdom. 

I’m currently re-reading book one, The Four Agreements, and after a few more re-reads I’ll move on to some re-reads of the Fitth Agreement. 

It is said that if all of society practiced just one of the agreements, the world would change ~ but why stop at one? 

I love reading the books, they don’t teach me anything I don’t know but I love the way the author describes how a person can live by the five agreements and live in perfect bliss and happiness. 

With this book, there’s no need to understand the underlying laws that support these agreements but they can help a person to achieve perfect bliss regardless. 

I know plenty of people who have read the book but I don’t know anybody who practices the agreements, who has made a commitment to them in their everyday lives. 

What other inspiring books are people reading? 


  • I Also used to be involved with an organisation who I won't publicise who were big on number one which amounts to integrity.

    One of my old constants is 'honour and integrity' ~ and during my teenage years I suggested setting up a Gentleman's Club with its motto being the aforementioned. We met another Gentleman's Club with the same motto some years later, who challenged us about our membership including females, and we all stated in unintended unison that having female membership was what 'honour and integrity' involved.



  • I try to live by avoiding breaking any of the 7 deadly sins myself, though some are harder than others, but would think the 7 heavenly virtues would be even more challenging, though i'm not myself religious

    Do you perhaps mean that you try to live by avoiding 'committing' any of the 7 deadly sins (Pride, Greed, Lust, Envy, Gluttony, Wrath and Sloth), and if so ~ in making an effort not to indulge in them ~ you are therefore living by the 7 heavenly virtues:

    Humility against Pride, 

    Liberality against Greed, 

    Chastity against Lust,

    Kindness against Envy, 

    Abstinence against Gluttony, 

    Patience against Wrath, 

    Diligence against Sloth.

    So maybe not so challenging then perhaps?


  • I may have been remiss in saying belief, it was the best word I could find. 

  • I like your sense of humour. I find it astonishing and can’t help seeing the funny side of how the big religions managed to sell their empty promises, of a better life after death, for so long ~ pretty genius really and they achieved their aims to become rich and powerful and to keep the people in bondage.

    I question everything, including the values and beliefs I was brought up on and I found many of those were built on fear, so I discarded most of them. 

    Most beliefs aren’t forced on people, not like with a gun to their head or anything but rather with promises of something better and because most people are unhappy, pretty much most of the time, they’re easy to get on board. In Bali we have little competitions to see who can come up with the craziest thing to sell to people. We never actually tried any of them but I reckon we would have all got a few takers. 

    I don’t have a belief in the four agreements, that’s not what they’re about, but when practiced, they do lead to greater happiness and joy, better relationships etc and most of all, you are 100% true to yourself, kind to yourself and you never judge yourself and when you do that, it’s easy to treat others the same way and you find others treat you back in the same way. It’s certainly not a belief but practicing them does bring eternal happiness and all that that entails. 

  • The wisdom I was brought up with was never to discuss religion (beliefs), politics, or football and to talk about money is vulgar.

    I have my codes of conduct which are my own business and not for the preaching to or enforcement on others, but one of them is to respect others beliefs.  So if that wisdom is what works for you then fair enough. 

    Toltec Wisdom.......cynically thinking of megalomaniacs trying to take over the world or the American Evangelists making lots of money

    Reminds me of a song by Genesis - Jesus He Knows Me. 

    Won't find me practicing what I'm preaching
    Won't find me making no sacrifice
    But I can get you a pocketful of miracles
    If you promise to be good, try to be nice
    God will take good care of you
    Just do as I say, don't do as I do

    How many books and at what price?! 

    There'll be no doubt in your mind
    You'll believe everything I'm saying
    If you want to get closer to him
    Get on your knees and start paying

    Pardon my irreverent humour, it is not meant to cause offence.  

    Cynical and irreverent as I am, I truly respect your belief in this. 

     

  • I only live by one agreement...... hookers and blow.

    JoyJoy   Brilliant

  • I only live by one agreement...... hookers and blow.

    Um, do you mean, like..., Velcro and Flatulence, for example? Relaxed

  • It usually works better when we simply strive to do what we want rather than avoid what we don’t want. What we resist, persists but when we go for what we do want, we naturally avoid what we don’t want without any effort. 

  • I only live by one agreement...... hookers and blow.

  • I try to live by avoiding breaking any of the 7 deadly sins myself, though some are harder than others, but would think the 7 heavenly virtues would be even more challenging, though i'm not myself religious

  • I try to live by avoiding breaking any of the 7 deadly sins myself, though some are harder than others, but would think the 7 heavenly virtues would be even more challenging, though i'm not myself religious

  • Yes, I agree, it does amount to integrity. 

  • I Also used to be involved with an organisation who I won't publicise who were big on number one which amounts to integrity.

  • My school motto was Always do your best - in Greek of course.

  • Hi AngelDust, 

    Yeah, number 1 is about being kind, gentle, loving and compassionate with ourselves.  For example, being aware of our self talk. For example, instead of telling ourselves, I can’t do this or that and I’m rubbish at everything etc, we find more constructive ways of communicating with ourselves. When we get this right, it is an automatic and natural response to then treat others the same way. 

    Number two teaches that we all see the world through our past experiences, beliefs, values etc and therefore when we look at another person, we see them through our experiences. This means that we rarely actually see the other person as they are, unless we become consciously aware of this and then we can change our subconscious thought patterns. 

    For example, if somebody has high standards with regards to cleanliness and they meet somebody who doesn’t share the same standards of cleanliness. Person one might see person two as somehow slightly deficient because of their levels of cleanliness and therefore they may treat them (subconsciously) in a way that suggests this, although they might not openly say, you’re scruffy and therefore inferior, but that may be how it is received by person two. Person two isn’t scruffy or inferior but according to the beliefs etc of person one, they are. So if they took personally and got offended by person one, they will be getting upset when really, it has nothing to do with them it was simply how person one views them according to their life experiences and values etc.

    That is a very crude and probably rubbish description. I’m writing this while intermittently holding a conversation with some guys from Indonesia ~ we’re remenising Blush

    Number five is about listening to people etc but not to take peoples word for things, try them out for yourself etc. 

    Anybody who practices  these 5 agreements, will experience the end to all suffering in their lives and they will live with eternal bliss and perfect happiness at all times. It’s a truly remarkable way to live and offers the greatest opportunity for personal/individual expression, as the person is free from societal norms etc so they are free to express who they really are. Most people can’t even begin to imagine what this is like and think that it would be boring or it would somehow stifle their individuality, but the opposite is true. We become free to really express who we are and do the things we love, that spark joy in us. But it’s not something that can really be described accurately and it really doesn’t need to be described because it’s an experience and each person’s experiences are of course, individual to them. 

    The book obviously goes into more detail and explains each agreement much better than I have. But yeah, not everybody wants that level of freedom, so it’s not going to be of interest or use to everyone and just reading the book won’t provide the freedom, each person must put the agreements into practice to reap the rewards. 

  • Hi BlueRay, 

    I do my best with number 1 and believe people around me find me trustworthy.

    I don't agree with what I am assuming to be the premise behind number 2 (i.e that taking things personally is bad) so; I like to take things personally, when it is appropriate that I should do so.

    I am constantly making assumptions in my everyday communication and processing because I don't know any other way of thinking or making judgments about things i.e I assume this oven is hot and I should therefore not touch it. 

    More often than not I do number 4, sometimes to my own detriment. 

    And 5: I don't think I am overtly skeptical, more of a realist perhaps? But I think I do listen very hard, everyday.

    I may not have understood correctly, but I do not think these 5 things are the key to living in perfect bliss and happiness. I think this is because I don't believe the aim of life is to live in perfect bliss and happiness. I can't think of anything worse. 'Living in bliss and happiness' may be 'clothed in humanitarianism' but (I believe) would rob us of the opportunity to gain meaning from our own existence? 

    Relaxed

  • How is it an agreement? Who with?  I find the twists and turns of your logic in these discussions very difficult to follow.  I feels like you're always looking for ways to catch people out.  I have no agreements of the sort you list - not with anyone, nor with myself (though I can hardly agree something with myself, merely decide on a course of action).

    Perhaps you should send copies of the book to all world leaders.  It sounds like the panacea they all need.  Does it include information on denuclearisation, deradicalisation and Brexit?

    Anger is a tremendously useful emotion, I agree, like all of our emotions. They are there for our own good, all of them, without fail. 

    Amongst other things, it drives complaints.

  • It was the sheer strength of the anger felt at different times in history that helped change the world for the better: The Women's Right's movement; The Civil Rights movement ... 

    Where would we be today if all of these people had stopped at writing polite letters and having hope that things might improve one day? Sometimes anger, even the destructive sort, is the best catalyst for change.  

  • That’s an agreement right there ~ I don’t follow any particular code! If you read the book and followed the instructions, you would find out what they add up to, which is freedom from all suffering, emancipation from the prisons we create, bliss and happiness and anything and everything you could ever want in this magnificent and abundant universe. 

    Anger is a tremendously useful emotion, I agree, like all of our emotions. They are there for our own good, all of them, without fail. 

    Thanks for the info on the book. I’ll put it on my reading list, it sounds interesting.