The Four Agreements

Does anybody here live by the Four Agreements? 

For anybody who is unfamiliar with them, they are ~

1. Be impeccable with your word

2. Don’t take anything personally 

3. Don’t make assumptions 

4. Always do your best 

and a later addition ~ 

5. Be skeptical but learn to listen. 

They are all based on Toltec Wisdom. 

I’m currently re-reading book one, The Four Agreements, and after a few more re-reads I’ll move on to some re-reads of the Fitth Agreement. 

It is said that if all of society practiced just one of the agreements, the world would change ~ but why stop at one? 

I love reading the books, they don’t teach me anything I don’t know but I love the way the author describes how a person can live by the five agreements and live in perfect bliss and happiness. 

With this book, there’s no need to understand the underlying laws that support these agreements but they can help a person to achieve perfect bliss regardless. 

I know plenty of people who have read the book but I don’t know anybody who practices the agreements, who has made a commitment to them in their everyday lives. 

What other inspiring books are people reading? 

Parents
  • Hi BlueRay, 

    I do my best with number 1 and believe people around me find me trustworthy.

    I don't agree with what I am assuming to be the premise behind number 2 (i.e that taking things personally is bad) so; I like to take things personally, when it is appropriate that I should do so.

    I am constantly making assumptions in my everyday communication and processing because I don't know any other way of thinking or making judgments about things i.e I assume this oven is hot and I should therefore not touch it. 

    More often than not I do number 4, sometimes to my own detriment. 

    And 5: I don't think I am overtly skeptical, more of a realist perhaps? But I think I do listen very hard, everyday.

    I may not have understood correctly, but I do not think these 5 things are the key to living in perfect bliss and happiness. I think this is because I don't believe the aim of life is to live in perfect bliss and happiness. I can't think of anything worse. 'Living in bliss and happiness' may be 'clothed in humanitarianism' but (I believe) would rob us of the opportunity to gain meaning from our own existence? 

    Relaxed

Reply
  • Hi BlueRay, 

    I do my best with number 1 and believe people around me find me trustworthy.

    I don't agree with what I am assuming to be the premise behind number 2 (i.e that taking things personally is bad) so; I like to take things personally, when it is appropriate that I should do so.

    I am constantly making assumptions in my everyday communication and processing because I don't know any other way of thinking or making judgments about things i.e I assume this oven is hot and I should therefore not touch it. 

    More often than not I do number 4, sometimes to my own detriment. 

    And 5: I don't think I am overtly skeptical, more of a realist perhaps? But I think I do listen very hard, everyday.

    I may not have understood correctly, but I do not think these 5 things are the key to living in perfect bliss and happiness. I think this is because I don't believe the aim of life is to live in perfect bliss and happiness. I can't think of anything worse. 'Living in bliss and happiness' may be 'clothed in humanitarianism' but (I believe) would rob us of the opportunity to gain meaning from our own existence? 

    Relaxed

Children
  • Hi AngelDust, 

    Yeah, number 1 is about being kind, gentle, loving and compassionate with ourselves.  For example, being aware of our self talk. For example, instead of telling ourselves, I can’t do this or that and I’m rubbish at everything etc, we find more constructive ways of communicating with ourselves. When we get this right, it is an automatic and natural response to then treat others the same way. 

    Number two teaches that we all see the world through our past experiences, beliefs, values etc and therefore when we look at another person, we see them through our experiences. This means that we rarely actually see the other person as they are, unless we become consciously aware of this and then we can change our subconscious thought patterns. 

    For example, if somebody has high standards with regards to cleanliness and they meet somebody who doesn’t share the same standards of cleanliness. Person one might see person two as somehow slightly deficient because of their levels of cleanliness and therefore they may treat them (subconsciously) in a way that suggests this, although they might not openly say, you’re scruffy and therefore inferior, but that may be how it is received by person two. Person two isn’t scruffy or inferior but according to the beliefs etc of person one, they are. So if they took personally and got offended by person one, they will be getting upset when really, it has nothing to do with them it was simply how person one views them according to their life experiences and values etc.

    That is a very crude and probably rubbish description. I’m writing this while intermittently holding a conversation with some guys from Indonesia ~ we’re remenising Blush

    Number five is about listening to people etc but not to take peoples word for things, try them out for yourself etc. 

    Anybody who practices  these 5 agreements, will experience the end to all suffering in their lives and they will live with eternal bliss and perfect happiness at all times. It’s a truly remarkable way to live and offers the greatest opportunity for personal/individual expression, as the person is free from societal norms etc so they are free to express who they really are. Most people can’t even begin to imagine what this is like and think that it would be boring or it would somehow stifle their individuality, but the opposite is true. We become free to really express who we are and do the things we love, that spark joy in us. But it’s not something that can really be described accurately and it really doesn’t need to be described because it’s an experience and each person’s experiences are of course, individual to them. 

    The book obviously goes into more detail and explains each agreement much better than I have. But yeah, not everybody wants that level of freedom, so it’s not going to be of interest or use to everyone and just reading the book won’t provide the freedom, each person must put the agreements into practice to reap the rewards.