Liking people

So does anyone else feel like it's hard to like people and well....just follow the link to a video to see what I mean.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LaBSaP1J-mQ

I don't mean this exactly but it's pretty close to what I mean.

Parents
  • It depends on the person, for me.

    I find it very difficult to like superficial people, people for whom material things (appearances, possessions, money) are everything. I think perhaps that's more to do with the fact that I just don't understand them, rather than actively disliking them. 

    I also can't find much to like about aggressive people, especially those who use that aggressiveness against other (usually smaller / weaker / younger) people. That would also apply to those who use their power / position / physical size / intellect to intimidate or demean others less able than themselves (basically bullying).

    Both groups I have difficulty understanding, for different reasons, and find myself studying them in the same way I might an interesting but slightly gross bug. The superficial ones I generally simply ignore. The various types of bullies I sometimes enjoy 'squashing', depending upon whether I think the person they're picking on can handle it themselves or not. 

    Apart from those exceptions, I think i just don't really notice most people. I generally neither like nor dislike them, they just don't show up on my radar most of the time. I only really notice those I'm forced to interact with and then I generally just 'get through' our interaction and leave. I can't 'do' their small-talk and I can't feign an interest in ridiculousness. I used to try to ... then I grew up. Or became less patient.      

  • Same! Well said Endymion, I’m the same. I don’t understand all that clothes liking, image liking business, I barely notice what one person looks like over another anyway and even if I do, I soon forget what they look like at all if I don’t see them very often.  My sister sent me a photo of her hair the other day! Lol! Apparently she had been to the hairdressers so I now know I’m supposed to say it looked nice, which it did, but really I was thinking, that’s weird, why have you sent me a photo of the back of your head! And I barely did before but rarely do now have tolerance for the small talk that many people enjoy and no, I can’t and never have been able to feign an interest in the ridiculousness. 

  • Ha!! I got caught out with that! My daughter sent me a photo of herself and I sent back a message saying I liked her hair, even although I didn't know whether it looked any different or not. She got back to me saying the picture was showing her new eyeliner-technique, she hadn't had her hair done at all.

    This is EXACTLY why I don't usually lie, I'm incredibly bad at it and will never remember what my lie was anyway. 

    I'm rubbish at remembering details about even my family so no-one else has a chance of being remembered!!  

Reply
  • Ha!! I got caught out with that! My daughter sent me a photo of herself and I sent back a message saying I liked her hair, even although I didn't know whether it looked any different or not. She got back to me saying the picture was showing her new eyeliner-technique, she hadn't had her hair done at all.

    This is EXACTLY why I don't usually lie, I'm incredibly bad at it and will never remember what my lie was anyway. 

    I'm rubbish at remembering details about even my family so no-one else has a chance of being remembered!!  

Children
  • lol! That’s funny. On this photo it was literally just the back of her head, which I thought was weird at first but then I clicked on and realised she wanted me to tell her it looked nice, which it genuinely did, I just don’t understand why she wanted me to tell her it looked nice or why she might think I would want to see it. 

    I once tried out some fake eyelashes and said to my son, who was about 5 at the time, as I put my face in front of his, what’s different about me. He looked at me all thoughtful looking and said, in all seriousness, you didn’t shave ya tash! I’m still laughing about it to this day, and I’ve never asked anyone a question like that since, I don’t think anyone could come up with a better reply than that. It’s given me years of laughter. 

    I’m the same with remembering details or being able to tell the lies but I am learning to not say some things. For example, my sister has a thing about the size of bodies and she likes to say that she was fat, or she used to, and that fat was bad, so she had surgery and got thin, and now she doesn’t really mention fat or thin but she likes to wear clothes that shows her body size off, because she thinks thin is good and I noticed (I don’t know how) the other day, that she looked fatter, but before I opened my mouth to say, you look fat, I remembered she likes you to notice her size but not if you say she looks fat, that’s not good. So massive bonus points to me that I remembered. I don’t want to upset her any more than I do! Lol!