I feel that I don't belong on this planet

There are times when I hate being amongst other fellow human beings; in fact I find it really unsettling because it is only a painful reminder of just how cruel the world is towards autistics and Aspies. I can't be around anybody of any age in any type of environment because of the frustration of being mentally disabled with a low mental age and the people in my life such my family members being very cruel towards me about that, when I should be given the chance to just be a young adult and learn from other young adults

I wish I could just be on another planet with only other autistic 'aliens' as I don't belong on this planet. Does anybody else feel this way?

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  • I never feel truly comfortable around other people - and once or twice that has included other people with Asperger's.  I used to work with an Aspie who could be incredibly intimidating - though not intentionally.  His massive intellect and detailed knowledge on seemingly anything you cared to mention used to leave me feeling completely inadequate!  But that's the exception, really.  Mainly, it's NTs.  It's generally been the case with me, all the way back to my teens, but it gets stronger as I get older: the feeling that I simply don't 'belong' with them.  I look at some of the things they do, and the things that preoccupy them - the way they behave with one another - and I just don't get it.  The same, probably, as they don't get me.  Because I work with autistic people, my colleagues are all trained in working with autism.  But they still don't get many things, and still ask me daft questions.  'Do you have anything you're especially good at?'  Yes.  Avoiding people!

    I'm happy enough on this planet, though - even though I feel literally like a Martian most of the time.  Mars is too cold and barren, and Mercury and Venus are too hot and otherwise inhospitable!  The trick is to find a way to live - the same as you would if you were washed up on a desert island, or dropped into a different culture.  My way is to accept myself as OK and just look at everyone else as a bit odd.  I'm certainly not unhappy about being autistic.

    Are you really mentally disabled with a low mental age?  Really?  Or is that how you feel when comparing yourself to others around you?  You seem intelligent and articulate enough to me.  I know that, for many years pre-diagnosis, I felt mentally subnormal.  Subnormal in many respects, in fact.  And the ways others used to behave towards me - calling me 'inept', 'cack-handed', 'backward', 'unsociable', 'mental' etc... that all fed into it.  People are often either suspicious or fearful of things they don't understand - and even in these more enlightened days, autism is still badly understood - so will often react in such negative ways.  Sometimes it's very hard, but you have to learn to ignore them and move on.  I'm sorry you don't seem to have a more understanding family.

    At least you've got understanding here - and a family, of sorts!

    Tom

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