Published on 12, July, 2020
Are there any suicide prevention support services aimed specifically at people with ASD? I'm not sure what I'm actually asking for in particular. I have a strong urge to hurt myself but traditional helplines are not good for me because I can't speak on the phone. I use the Samaritans email service, but I have noted a pattern in their responses which makes me suspect that I might not be communicating with an actual person on the other side. Besides, I have a fairly immediate plan and email response takes some time.
I just want someone to understand that I don't want to be autistic any more. The daily effort I expend to do things that other people take for granted is greater than the sum of the rewards I get for trying. The only way I can think of to get a rest is to switch my brain off permanently. I would appreciate someone who could guide me towards a different strategy that works.
ncrbrts said:I just want someone to understand that I don't want to be autistic any more
I suspect a great many of us can relate to that. I know I can.
My pre-assessment meeting made me feel like I wanted them to give me a lethal injection, though I don't suppose they ever would.
Can I ask if you work or volunteer somewhere?
I have 3 jobs. Between them I can't make ends meet. I'm facing bankruptcy and pressure from the job centre to find something full time.
I used to be the Insolvency Officer at my local county court. I'd get people coming in in tears, feeling like their lives had fallen apart, with comparatively small debts. Then you'd get the guys who'd just stroll in and hand the papers over to get it done - with debts in the hundreds of thousands. I'll always remember one guy who was in hock to his creditors for over half a million. He seemed to take it all in his stride. Some people do it because they know they can, and they'll get bailed out, so it doesn't bother them. Others, like yourself it sounds, are sincere in wanting to work it all out. But sometimes, it just isn't possible any longer. If it comes to it, it isn't the end of the world. I had plenty of letters from people thanking me for helping them, and telling me that they'd picked up the pieces and were working it out this time - after having the pressure taken off.
As for the Job Centre - surely you're demonstrating to them that you're willing to work. Are you struggling with the work health-wise? If you have a diagnosis, they should be taking account of it. There should be a Disability Officer there you can talk to.